Survivor's Guilt
by Owl of Nevermore
Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie started a new life in Jackson County. After his a shift on guard duty ends, Ellie meets Joel and suggests they leave the compound, to set out on a new journey putting their skills to better use; making the infected extinct. Along the way, Joel is haunted by Tess and the lingering wonder of what might have been.
1. You Sure About That?

This started off as a one-shot, but once I started writing, more developed in my mind. This is based off some thoughts I had, while playing the story quite a few times. At some parts, mostly the sorta-flash backs, they might change drastically from the game to accomodate the AU realities. Hope you like, and enjoy reading.

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE**

 _You Sure About That?_

The night was silent. Not the calm kind, that offered calm reflection before drifting off into a well earned sleep. This was too silent. No owls hooting in the distance. Or the rustle of a cool breeze through the trees. Or peaceful hustle-bustle of the small Jackson County community settling down for the night.

One by one, the lights of the houses went off. Some at the same time—this must have been the children being tucked in by parents getting ready for their own night patrol, or resting themselves. Joel wondered to himself some nights, as he patrolled the top of the parameter wall with only a hunters rifle, if Sarah had found her way here, would she have found a husband? Children? Thinking of the life she could have had always played out the same way.

Showing idealized visions of a life untainted by the plague of cordyceps virus, that had devastated an entire world. Each vision snuffed out by the gunshot that changed Joel's life forever.

He always told Ellie to just forget and move on, but Sarah was the one person he could never forget. Never move on. Never fully release the pain. The ache in his heart reminded him he was still alive.

Joel heard the crack nearby a moment too late. _Snap._ The sound of something brittle being crushed under foot. He scanned the cliffs through the scope of his rifle, seeing nothing at all.

"Alright, where are you?" he muttered under his breath.

The scope found something. A still figure at the edge of the cliffs. Joel watched for a moment, intending not to take out the life of one of his own. As much as the survivors in the community claimed they remained within the well protected walls, a few were known to sneak out for a moonlight wander. Or a scouting party returned after nightfall.

To his left, there was a shattering sound of a bottle colliding with the ground. Swinging the gun around, he searched for whoever was hiding in the shadows. He had used the same tricks in stealthily sneaking by hunters and infected.

 _"_ _Hey, Joel?"_ came through the walkie-talkie on his belt, startling him. Perhaps it had been twenty two years since he carried a cell-phone that worked, or maybe he didn't like people trying to talk to him in the middle of the night, with something lurking in the shadows. Either way, whatever was creeping about out there would have an advantage while he had to waste time answering the damn thing. Now whoever it was knew his name.

He raised the walkie-talkie to his ear, and flipped the button to reply. "Yeah, Ellie? I'm here."

"A new shift is starting. Some people are coming to take over. Are you coming back?"

"Nah. I need to clear my head." Living in Jackson County did give him something to live for, but with it carried a heavy heart. The community had built all this without the need to thieve and trick and kill. Some days he wondered if it was for the best, if he had have died a year ago.

"Meet me near the truck."

"Alright."

The new shift did take over. Joel surrendered his rifle to the twenty-something man taking his place. He was glad for the time off, but his male pride resented it. Not so long ago he was fighting for his life every single day, now he can barely be trusted to last the night without having to pass the reins off to some young buck, who had no idea what it was like to wake up one morning, and not know if you would live to see the sunset. That was Tommy for you. A bitter pissy little brother, who loved that he called the shots, and never let Joel forget it.

Joel left the compound, into the quiet cool night, climbing up the cliffs to the silhouette he had seen far below. It wasn't a person at all. A scarecrow set up to look like someone on patrol. Or to leave a gun for Joel in plain sight. Tied to its stick arms was a fully loaded hunter's rifle, and to its leg a 9mm. A risky move, considering anyone could just take them. A warning shot came from down below.

Probably some young buck getting a bit full of himself, unable to tell friend from foe. Joel tore the guns, and slipped behind a nearby boulder. He considered firing a warning shot back, but that would just shake up a hornet's nest in the community. He'd certainly be bringing it up at a compound meeting, pointing out the recklessness of the kids on the second shift. No one would listen.

Ellie was waiting for him in a burned out rusted wreck of a car in the woods. She had made herself comfortable sitting on the hood, resting her back against her trusty old rucksack, reading a comic book she had found when she got here. A few feet away was the crackling warmth of a campfire, and a tent already set up.

Moving towards the fire like a moth to a lantern, Joel warmed his hands in the orange glow. Rubbing them together to trap in some of the warmth. He slipped off his own beaten brown leather rucksack, set it down beside the old wreck's rotted out tire.

"What's all this?" Joel asked.

"I tried convincing Maria to let us join the scout party," Ellie replied, glancing over the top of the aged pages of her comic. She didn't have to say a word, Joel could tell the answer; no.

"The tent?" Joel inquired.

Ellie shrugged, returning to the fight scene developing in Singularity.

"You stole it," Joel correctly assumed.

"It isn't exactly stealing, if everything is shared," Ellie reasoned out loud.

Dawn started to break, draping natural light over their little campsite. Armed with the bow and arrows she brought with her, Ellie gathered breakfast. Not that much, just a squirrel and a rabbit. Better than nothing. There was a good amount of blackberries easily making up the difference.

After their meager meal, that was nothing compared to the rations they would have received back in the compound, silence weighed heavily down on them. Both had something to say, but neither one knew how to say it.

Both of them ended up blurting it out at the same time;

"Joel, I think we should leave." "Ellie, I think we should leave."

Stunned, they looked at one another. Trying to process what the other had said. Hoping they had heard right.

"You really want to leave?" Ellie asked.

Joel nodded. "Staying here is all good an' all, Tommy and Maria have been good to us. I've been thinkin', we'd be better putting our skills to use further out in the field."

"I feel the same. I'm grateful to them, everyone who took us in. We have seen what infected do to people. What if an infected got into the compound? Everything would be for nothing."

"Exterminate the infected, stop the spread."

Ellie nodded. "Something like that."

For the first time in too long, both Ellie and Joel were able to forget the threat of the infected, hunters, or anything else that might threaten their small slice of peace. They were able to talk about real things—how Ellie was yet to make friends in the compound, because none of them were able to grasp she wasn't like them. She had seen too much, and done too many terrible things to take enjoyment out of small things like watching movies, or playing games. Having a kick about with a soccer ball made her think of Sam. Playing darts. Sam. She couldn't even bare to look at his robot toy anymore.

Joel told her little bits of his life with Tess—never calling her by name. All he was able to tell her was the conflict with Robert, that lead them both to Ellie. Talking about Tess hurt, and he would always regret not getting to her fast enough. Not seeing the signs.

"About earlier," said Ellie, as she was crawling into the tent to catch up on some sleep.

"We'll talk to Maria in the morning," Joel replied.

Joel had chosen to keep watch; not that there was much to keep a watchful eye out for.

Thumbing through Ellie's comic, he was able to kill a couple of minutes. Ellie was right. It wasn't a bad read. A lingering wonder if Sarah would have liked the story of Savage Starlight forced him to throw the comic aside. He put it away in Ellie's backpack; out of sight, out of mind. That is how he had to live his life. Had being the important word.

Something moved among the trees. Joel grabbed the 9mm, and pointed at the figure moving towards him. He couldn't lower the gun, or move. The figure was a woman. One he hadn't seen in two years.

An empty tortured soul peering at him through brown eyes. Brown hair only ever washed under a rainfall. Hardened by dangers unnumbered, she became the mask she had to don to survive the day. The worn in clothes she wore littered with bloody bullet holes.

"Tess…" The name came out half a growl, half a whisper. Joel looked to the tent where Ellie slept only for a moment.

His gaze scrutinized Tess's features, and her form entirely. Had she survived her wounds, she should be a clicker by now, her face obscured by fungi. Or have the red eyes and sharp fangs, fungi bursting through her skin. She moved too relaxed and freely without the retreating stealth of a stalker. No irrational rage of a runner. The bite mark blemishing her shoulder.

"You are…" is all he could bring himself to say.

"Dead? I know, Joel. Still am."

Tess sat opposite him on the other side of the flickering charged twigs and tinder in the pebble guarded fire pit. Her eyes watched him, giving them a piercing stare through the wisps and ash that floated up from the dying flames.

"Why are you here Tess? Why now?"

"You tell me, Texas. I'm just a figment of either your weary mind, or a ghost coming to visit for a woodland date. You know how lonely hell gets. Which is more likely?"

"All right, all right," Joel replied, waving around a bit of tinder before tossing it on the fire. The flames engulfed it, letting out a bit of a roar, cracking and blackening the surface of the piece of wood. "So, I imagined you. Why now? Endure and survive, as Ellie says. Thinking you up ain't exactly enduring."

Joel watched her. She was Tess, but not Tess. Just how he remembered her. That glimpse of her lifeless body—he never should have looked. Just remembered her in the last moments of her life. He had to hand it to Tess, she died exactly how she lived; facing her problems head on, gun in her hand, and taking as many military soldiers as she could out with her. He saw it in the dancing flames, the last moments.

"Would it have been any different?" Joel wondered out loud. "If I'd have got to you in time. Shot that runner before it bit you."

"Yes."

* * *

The runner pounded at the rotten old door, frantically trying to get to the sound of the commotion within. Tess shouting at someone—no, something. Infected. The place was crawling with them.

Joel shot the runner in the head, snuffing out what little existence it had left. Burst through the door, turned his gun at the creature Tess was in a scuffle with. Her hand at its' throat, holding it at arm's length, the other grasping for a nearby 2x4. Instinctively, Joel shot—the bullet found its mark in the runner's arm. Frantically, it stumbled back, turning on Joel.

Tess took the moment of advantage, bashing its head in with the 2x4. No words were wasted in reunion. They were called into the exhibit room, to run to Ellie's aid.

* * *

"Alright, so I got there in time. That thing never bit you. Tess, we all would have travelled together. Bill's. Pittsburgh. The dam. Everywhere. It would have all been the same. We'd be right back here, except you'd be alive."

Tess looked across from him doubtfully. "Really? You sure. Not one thing different?"

Joel thought on that for a moment, until he realized one moment his mind had let his mind forgot. It was Tess. She alerted him to Ellie. Her voice frantic. Full of concern. This was her job. Her deal with Marlene.

Ellie climbed out of the tent, stretching, yawning, muttering about going back to tell Maria their decision. She sat cross-legged, her palms flat extended attempting to catch the warmth. "It's freezing," she complained. Had she known it would be so cold, she might have dressed a little warmer.

Or kept the coat she had during _that_ winter. The brown leather coat was long gone now. Burned in an empty oil drum, some miles away from Silver Lake. Joel was so supportive to her. The first abandoned house with decent clothes, they stole them. Allowed her to bathe away all _his_ blood. Burned the clothes. Every last trace of _him_ was gone. All she had to do was forget.

Tess watched Ellie, and went unnoticed.

"Winter won't be kind," Joel commented.

"Won't be that bad, if we only have to handle infected."

Joel watched Tess disappear with a flicker of a dancing flame, as if being swallowed up by it. "We'll be alright. Nothing can be worse than we've already seen before."

"One of the women in the compound library said something like that. She says, everything gets easier, because you know what to expect. You learn as you go. I think that is right. I learned so much watching you fight the infected, and all those hunters, it was easier when I had to protect us both."

"One thing I know, kiddo, is there is nothing we can't overcome." He nodded towards the tent. "You need help dismantling that thing?"

"Nope. Not yet. You've hardly had much sleep this week."

"I'm fine," he told her, shrugging it off.

"Joel," she said, giving him a look that fully implied; _I'm not buying it._

"Ellie," he replied, returning a look of; _I'm serious. I'll be fine._

"We're not going anywhere until you get some sleep." Her voice was equally as stubborn as Ellie herself.

Joel had no choice but to give in. He climbed into the tent, lay down on the beaten old sleeping bag. Out of habit, he kept his rucksack close. Even in his own bed in the compound, it was always placed on the nightstand. It was three months after starting a new life in Jackson, before he stopped putting it on before he left his room each day.

Looking at the photo of Sarah and a younger and less troubled himself always helped Joel go to sleep easier. Thinking of happy memories, instead of the nagging worry of an infected ripping him limb from limb in his sleep.

"Shame I never got to meet her," came from the other side of the tent.

Joel looked over at Tess, slipping the photo away in his rucksack. In a whisper, he replied, "You'd never have met her. I would have never done such dangerous work to survive."

"You would have. I know you Joel. You say you never would, but you would. All to make sure she had plenty of cards to get all she needed. Maybe it was better she died when she did, before this world snuffed out her innocence."

Joel rolled over onto his back, his head resting on his hand. "Still a day don't go by, when I don't miss her."

* * *

The end was sight, as Joel ran up the steps to the capitol building. Ellie would be unburdened from them. Then Joel and Tess could get on with laying low for a while—and Joel knew it would most likely be a day or two before Tess would find some lucrative deal, and they would be right back in their life of dealing with the underbelly of the QZ.

In the vestibule of the building, they found it littered with the bodies of the fireflies they were supposed to meet.

Tess looked over their bodies, searching for a clue to where they were headed. Nothing. Not a map. Nothing. She stood, walked over to the window.

"Oh, shit… they're…" Ellie muttered.

"Dead. Yeah. We will be too, if we stick around," Joel told her, bluntly. "Tess?"

"We better clear out. The military caught up with us," Tess replied, noticing the soldiers wading through murky green waters towards the building. At least half a dozen of them.

Tess grabbed Ellie's arm, steered her towards the double doors, with Joel running after them. He shut the doors, following them up the stairs to the left. Following the corridors, knowing they didn't have long. They reached the upper floor of the vestibule, hiding behind the marble half-wall, Tess peered down. Heavily armed soldiers flooded in through the main doors. Examine the bodies, pointing their guns searching for the smugglers and girl they had seen come this way.

Stealthily and unseen, Joel and Ellie made it to the next ransacked room, before the sounds of soldiers trying to break the doors down followed after them. Tess dashed after them, crossed the room and leaped over the gap to another room heavily grown.

"Ellie, jump over to Tess," Joel told her. He armed himself with his pistol, hoping to buy the girls some time to get a head start.

"Don't you dare," Tess told him. "Get over here."

He had no choice but to obey. Slumped against a pillar, they found another dead firefly, and a hunter's rifle. Tess grabbed the gun, checked it for ammo. Not as much as she would have liked, but enough. She handed it over to Joel.

"Cover us?" she requested.

"Sure thing, ma'am," Joel replied, taking the new toy. It had been a while since they got the chance to keep a gun for himself.

Joel peered through the scope of the gun, seeing some soldiers enter the hall from the other end. BANG! The fight begun. With a swift accurate shot from the rifle, decorating the walls in the brains of the misfortunate soldier to get stuck in his crossfire. He picked off another, while Ellie and Tess slipped into the room to the left.

* * *

Joel woke up from his sleep feeling as if he hadn't slept at all. He left the tent, to find Ellie preparing a little something to eat. Just canned food, that she had kept in her rucksack. He sat down in the warmth of the now roaring fire.

"About what you decided," Joel begun.

"You have changed your mind," Ellie incorrectly assumed.

"Not at all. We need to do this. It can't all be for nothing, right?"

"Right," Ellie agreed. "Maybe we will meet those people you told me about." She handed him the can of beans, and allowed him to eat at first. That was their agreement. Whoever cooked the food ate seconded. Half a can each.

"What people?" asked Joel, between beans that tasted a little bit off.

"At the hospital. The people like me. Dozens of them?" Each prompt she uttered reminded him more and more of the lie he told.

Joel handed her the can of food. "Yeah, maybe." He was being deliberately vague, hoping she would drop it and move on.


	2. What Is Wrong With Me?

For the AU semi-flash backs, the timeline does jump ahead a fair bit from here, and start to show differences. I hope they are in character, for both Joel and Tess. Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWO**

 _What Is Wrong With Me?_

Leaving Jackson County was easy. Quiet and filled with bittersweet farewells. Tommy was reluctant to let his brother leave at first, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Joel had his own cause to focus on, and Tommy was loyal to the one thing he was able to stick with since the CBI tore through the lives of many and took Sarah from him. Perhaps it was Sarah who kept them both on the straight and narrow.

Only a few people gathered outside the large heavy gates to the power plant. Leaving that way would offer them easier access to the road. Maria offered them a horse to help them on the way.

"No thank you, ma'am," Joel said, politely. Even after a year, she still sorta scared him. Not enough to avoid her, but enough to place an invisible line that he dared not to cross if he disagreed with her. "We got just enough food to last us a day or two. A horse will slow us down." He shot a sidewards glance at Ellie, who understood entirely.

 _Not again, after Callus._

In the short time they had with him, both Ellie and Joel had grown fond of Callus. He was just a part of their little team as they were, and his death at the hands of the cannibals did hurt as much as they intended. Not enough to wake up in tears, but enough for Ellie to wish she had left him in the garage. Callus was a good, intelligent, loyal horse, who didn't deserve to be clipped down in anger and spite of cruel men lead by a twisted sadist.

All words of farewell were exchanged, and Ellie and Joel slipped away at dawn, ready to embark. They walked down the stairs, and across the makeshift bridge they had created the first time they came to the dam, and no one ever bothered to seal it off. They stopped off at a small building, where Joel broke the lock using an already mostly rusty switchblade. This building was unused by anyone in the compound or dam. It served as a vault for Ellie and Joel to keep their weapons, for when they decided to go off on little hunting trips of their own. In the stubborn lock, the blade snapped clean off. Instead of tossing it aside, Joel decided to keep the handle. He had an idea on how to teach some skills to Ellie, that she was yet to learn herself.

Armed with many weapons from their travels, the adoptive father and daughter pair were ready to leave the dam behind. Following along the river. Aiding each other in climbing up to the road.

"Any regrets?" Ellie asked.

"None."

"I bet my next meal rations we see infected before people," said Ellie, jokingly.

"Alright," said Joel, playing along. "If the people are friendly, you owe me two meal rations."

Ellie agreed. There would be no pay up, because neither one wanted the other to go without food.

They walked down the road, trying to harmonize a song through whistle. It annoyed Joel like crazy, but sometimes he thought it better to just lean into the skid. Let her get all the whistling out of her system, and return to walking in silence. Occasionally they stopped at rusted out wrecks of cars, to see if there was anything worth keeping. Nothing.

Further down the road, they found a reasonable sized glade just off the beaten track. Not too crowded, but big enough for them to build a fire out of reach of the trees and in turn not burn the whole damn forest down. Checked through their rations; rice for this meal. It was Joel's turn to cook. These were usually times when he wished he could pick up the phone and call for a pizza. Or head to a fast-food place, and get a burger. Fries. Coffee on the side. Those much more appetizing thoughts lingered on his taste buds, while he waited for his own turn to eat.

"How about I teach you how to fight with your knife?" Joel suggested.

Ellie finished gobbling up her half of the tin bowl of rice, and handed it to him. "I already know how to fight."

"I know you do, I just thought I'd teach you a few things. How to better defend yourself," Joel said. He left out the _"and make less of a racket, as she clumsily stabbed an infected to death."_

"Alright," Ellie agreed.

* * *

Light was just ahead of them; clear, natural, bright sunlight, not obscured or rank with spores. Tess burst out the darkness of the subway out onto an overgrown road, and pulled the mask off her face, greedily gulping down that free clear air. Joel followed in her footsteps, pulling his mask off, and stowed it in his pack.

"Holy shit, that was intense," Ellie declared, hurrying out after them.

"We ain't getting back to the zone, after all that shit, Tess," Joel said, completely ignoring the little girl looking to both of them for support.

"I know," Tess replied. She turned to Ellie, casting a scrutinizing gaze over the fourteen year old girl, to see if she was okay. No cuts or bruises that she could see. Tess returned her attention to Joel. "The military will put the place on lockdown. Even after nightfall, there will be double, or even triple what we just had to fight through. I don't have enough cards to get them to look the other way. What we had back at the apartment might cover it."

"So what now?" Ellie asked, in a bid to be involved in their conversation.

Tess turned her back to the pair, walked about six paces, and was struck with an idea. She turned, and returned to them. "Bill."

"No, no," said Joel, waving a hand as if dismissing the suggestion.

Ignoring Joel entirely—her mind was already made up on the matter—Tess told Ellie, "Someone we make deals with. He owes me a favor, or dozen. We go to him, and get a car." The last part was more for both of them.

"Tess, we should wait it out, and get back to the zone. The fireflies are dead. Marlene is probably dead. This kid almost got us killed too." Joel looked Tess in the eyes, wondering why she was so firm on this.

"I am right here, you know," Ellie said, angrily.

"We do the job," Tess told him, firmly. "See it through to the end. We go to Bill's, get a car, find the fireflies, and get what is owed to us. That simple."

"Simple?" Joel wanted to argue the point, but it would do no good. He had a better chance of convincing the wall than Tess. In a semi-sarcastic way, he said, "After you, boss."

* * *

Joel had his arm around Ellie's throat—not tight enough to cut off her breathing, but insisted she do so to whomever she wanted to kill with this method. Using the broken knife handle, he demonstrated the exact spot where she would have to stab on a clicker to end it once and for all.

"You got that?" Joel asked, releasing her from the hold and handing her their substitute blade.

"Got it," Ellie replied.

They went through the process of Joel playing a clicker, for her to grab and "kill." Since he was taller and stockier than she was, he did lean more into her grapples. Next he explained how to break a grapple with a clicker trying to grab her.

The first example, he had her play the part of a clicker. He hated himself more than a little bit, that this girl of sixteen could mimic the movements and behavior of a clicker, and attempt to create the sound they emitted as they moved with clicking her tongue, so well, that all she needed was a face full of fungi to complete the illusion. He explained where to stab, and shove the clicker away, and allowed her to get a few shots in. Seeing her grasp the moves so quick both made him proud of her, and disgusted at himself for teaching them in the first place.

Ellie presented him with a gift she had "found" back in the compound, in the form of a switchblade, so he wouldn't have to depend on shivs anymore.

Both froze at the sound of voices nearby. They hastily grabbed their rucksacks, and made sure they were armed; Elle with a bow, Joel with a pump-action shotgun, crept quieter than a mouse to the nearest tree. Moved stealthily from one to the other, then the next. No one saw them, or was even looking for them. Joel reached the log flanking the road first, and waited for Ellie to catch up.

"Oh, man…" Ellie groaned in a whisper.

A man, woman, and a little boy of about ten were gathering their things from the back of a pickup truck, talking about how far they would have to walk before finding the Jackson County compound. Joel and Ellie waited until the small family had left, before leaving their hiding place. Both wanted to help, but if they got involved, they would have to double back. That was the number one rule; never turn back.

Ellie gave the pickup truck the once over for leftover supplies, while Joel checked to see if it was still running. The engine roared to life, and the truck had half a tank of gas in it.

"Should we just take it?" Ellie wondered, out loud.

"You really want me to talk you out of stealing something? Ellie, come on."

"Well," Ellie said, walking around to the passenger side door, opened it and climbed in. "We could argue that those people are going to JC, and they won't be needing it. If we just leave it here, who knows who might take it before we return." She shut the door.

Only another moment was wasted justifying stealing a truck from a young family, before they hit the road. Joel saw her face in the rearview mirror; Tess. Bandanna, scars, and all. She shot him a look that implied a judgmental "Nice going, Texas."

* * *

The pit of his stomach churned, with the full force of a washing machine on spin dry—good job he hadn't eaten in a while. Something tight around his ankle quite literally yanked him off his feet, suspending him about ten or fifteen feet in the air, looking around at a strategically messy warehouse.

"Bill," Joel growled between his teeth.

"What the fuck happened?" Ellie yelled, peeking around Tess in the doorway.

"Just another of Bill's stupid traps," Joel replied, irritably. He noted a refrigerator, that appeared to be the bulk of the weight, keeping him in the air. "There! Tess, if you don't mind."

"Just hang there, while I get to work," she quipped.

"Funny," Joel shot back.

Tess grabbed her pistol from her belt, and called Ellie to her. "You run down that alley over there, find somewhere to hide. You don't come out, no matter what." She went to hand Ellie the gun, but pulled it away before the girl could lay a finger on it. "Only for absolute emergencies, got it?"

"Got it," Ellie said, nodding.

"Repeat it," Joel told her, feeling a touch lightheaded.

"Only for emergencies," Ellie repeated.

Ellie hurried out the warehouse armed, weaved down the alley, where she would find refuge in a Laundromat.

The moment the girl was gone, Joel said, "Smart move, Tess. That kid will get us killed."

Shattering the silence in the air, was the whistling call of approaching infected. Not much time. The infected were coming. All Tess had done was hand the girl a gun, and move over to the main weight support.

"Oh, shut up, and keep those fucking things off my back, will you?" Tess fired back.

Joel had no choice but to just hang there, picking off infected with his revolver, his aim not nearly as accurate as it should have been, but it was life or death. Tess managed to shove the refrigerator to the ground, and cut him free, before the worst of the infected got to them. Joel hurried to his feet, and was knocked right back down again. Snatching up his fallen revolver, Tess put a bullet in the skull of the runner, gave him half a moment to get up, before they retreated into the alley. Dodging around enraged infected, and climbing through the containers of trucks.

They reached a door, Tess wrenched it open, and they dashed inside. The scene they walked into was not what they expected. Ellie in the process of being handcuffed to a washing machine by an overweight man clad from head to toe in thick armor and a gasmask.

The stranger grappled with Joel, demanding if any of them had bite marks, but let go instantly at the sound of his name being said by a woman, whose voice he recognized.

"Tess?" Bill replied. "I should have known you'd be involved. What is it this time?"

"Just a job, and I'm calling in on all those favors you owe me," Tess informed him. "We need a car."

* * *

Joel looked over at Ellie in the passenger seat. She had headphones on, listening to some cassette tape on a clunky player and recorder. He had suggested she play the music for them both to hear, but Ellie insisted on keeping it to herself. After a minute or two, she had an emotional sadness about her, that she instantly hid behind a brave face. Joel kept his concerns to himself, allowing her to enjoy her music. So very rarely she was able to just act how a kid should, instead of an adult in a teen girl's body.

As the miles rolled away behind them, Ellie eventually tore herself away from the music. She looked to Joel; he had aged so much. Still black and graying hair. He hadn't always been that way.

"Joel, what was it like? With Sarah. Before the infected, I mean."

A small smile curved up at the corner of his mouth. "Sarah was a good kid. Every night, I'd tell her to order food, and go to bed on time. Not wait up for me. Most nights, I'd find her asleep on the couch, and have to carry her off to her bed and tuck her in."

"Did you live in a house like that ranch house?"

"Nah. Not the biggest of places, but it was room enough for us."

"Weird."

"Maybe when all the infected are dead, we can find a house our own. At least this time, I won't have to bust my hump paying off the mortgage."

"What is a mortgage?"

Joel handled the task of explaining a mortgage to a kid who had never even lived in a world with banks, dollars and mortgages pretty well. To her it was all ration cards, and predatory schools.

A small while after their conversation had ended, Ellie announced, "I think I would have chosen to fend for myself."

"Is that so?" Joel replied, without a clue what she was getting at.

"Riley," Ellie elaborated. "The school gave her a choice; join the military or fend for yourself in the QZ. If I hadn't have gotten bitten, I think I would have picked fend for myself. I might have started working with you and Tess."

"I seriously doubt that kid. Me and Tess, we took our opportunities where we could get them. High risk, minimal team. Someone had to do it, might as well be us. Two screwed up people, who stopped giving a shit about people a long time ago, and would do anything to get a big payoff of ration cards. Tess was the brains, and I was the brawns to do a lot of the grunt work. Suited us fine."

A loud clunk noise coming from the engine told them their usage of the truck was over. There was no point attempting to fix it. It was abandoned, and they went on foot.

* * *

A church basement turned armory. Well, that was Bill for you. Unconventional, completely unstable, but he did it with style. Bill had already given Ellie the riot act about not touching his stuff, and was rewarded with the girl flipping the bird at him.

Bill made his way across the basement, tossing a shotgun to Tess, then finding two more for himself and Joel. "I don't give a shit what you two are up to, or why the fuck you felt compelled to drag me in on it; and I don't want to know. After this, we're even. You want to make a deal? Trade for some of my supplies, fine, but you keep your shit the fuck away from here, got it?"

"Agreed," Tess gave in—not that she ever planned to come back to this place ever again.

"And, this thing with the kid will blow up in your faces," Bill felt compelled to tell them.

* * *

A long road stretched out ahead of them, more a graveyard of cars and the occasional remains of what used to be a living breathing human being. The sun moved across the sky, sinking into the horizon, casting a foreboding shadow of the trees flanking the road on them.

Something moved to their left. Bushes shifting fast, as if some ferocious beast was frantically trying to hack its way through.

"Infected," Ellie yelled, fleeing to the other side of the road to put a bit of distance.

A runner charged at Joel, frantically flailing his arms. Desperate to gnaw on the flesh of the human man in front of it. As soon as it got in range, Joel fired the gun at it, and blasted it right back across the road.

"Shit, Joel!" Ellie declared.

"Run! There'll be more of them."

Running worked, for twenty to thirty feet. The road went on and on, without any turns. They could have run into the trees, but they would most likely come face to face with more of them.

"Joel, we have no choice but to stand our ground." Ellie stopped in her tracks.

Joel did the same, albeit about three or four yards ahead of her. "You are right. Come here, and your point is where I'm stood."

Ellie obliged, taking point in her assigned place. Joel moved just ahead of her, and told her when the runners were coming. She could see for herself, but she appreciated the heads up. Not as many blood thirsty runners as they expected. Ellie knocked an arrow into place, and got the first shot. The arrow's movement was swift, slicing through the air, and fount its mark in the head of a runner. One down; five more to go.


	3. Why Tell Me Now?

In case all you haven't seen it, I added a companion one shot to chapter 2 named "Lose Our Minds Together," that sheds some light on Ellie's decision to fend for herself in the QZ, if she was given the choice.

That being said, thank you so much to everyone who has read/reviewed/followed/favorited (or all four!) I really am touched, that you have taken time out of your life to read this little story of mine. Really, thank you.

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE**

 _Why Tell Me Now?_

Three infected dead, and still more coming. Joel had no choice but to cover Ellie as she whipped up a Molotov to thin out the herd. The Molotov flew in an arc towards a pack of approaching clickers, and wiped them all out, and half the runners were caught in the radius. Ellie switched her bow for a more powerful rifle, and helped Joel kill the rest of them.

"Holy shit, that was too many," Ellie stated, once all the infected were dead.

"Could be worse," Joel replied.

"How?"

"A whole fleet of them. Runners, stalkers, clickers, even a bloater or two."

"If that happens, I'm getting you back for jinxing us," Ellie informed him.

Before any more infected could show up, they headed down the road. There were signs indicating there was a town or city a few miles ahead, but the name of the town or city was entirely rusted out. Ellie and Joel stopped, squinting in an attempt to read the sign.

"Do you know where this could be?" Ellie asked.

"Not a clue. Not without a map or a compass," Joel replied.

"In your time, didn't people drive around in cars all the time?"

"Yeah, but we had this thing called SatNav, that told you where you were going. When to turn, how far you got to drive for."

"Must have been nice."

"Nah. The voices were annoying as hell."

The sign was useless to them. Only option—which they took—was to just follow the road, and hope it lead somewhere. A mile down the road, they found a sign indicating some kind of park, but the road came to an abrupt end, plummeting just far enough, that if they were to fall off they would die on impact, that is if they weren't impaled on a tree first. Ellie searched for a safer way down, but the mountain either severely stretched up on one side, or plummeted down just as severely on the other side. Neither side looked appealing, and turning back seemed the only choice, even though Ellie was positive they had walked this way, when they first came to Wyoming.

* * *

Bill unlocked the gate, opening it cautiously. Slowly he crept out into the back alley. Tess lingered in the church yard, taking her gun back from a reluctant Ellie. The girls followed the men out into the alley. Joel armed himself with a bow for more stealth kills to nearby runners.

"Joel," Tess whispered. "Come here."

The four of them gathered in a circle to plan their next move.

"We split up; Joel and Bill you go towards the houses, take out as many of those things as you can. Ellie—you stay with me. We stick to the alleys. See what we can find. Agreed?"

"Oh, great, and there is me thinking it would be simple," Bill said, sarcastically.

Bill's prickly attitude was ignored. The men focused on picking off the infected, while Tess and Ellie stayed close to the alley. Reaching an open garage, the door locked by tied rope on the other side. When the men met them, the boards were ripped off the doggy door, only Ellie to greet them.

"Tess is inside, dealing with some of those clicker things," Ellie whispered before they could speak.

Joel crouched lower to the ground, moving quickly and quietly after Tess to lend a helping hand. Ellie and Bill following in his stealthy footsteps.

* * *

Climbing down a cliff wasn't Joel's first choice, but he had to deal with it. Going back was never an option regardless of the obstacle they faced. Ellie had seen some peculiar cloud patterns in the distance of the sea of green trees, and they were going to find out what the hell caused it. If the cause happened to be the source for the infected they faced not so long ago, even better.

Once their feet was back on terra firma, Ellie and Joel hiked through the vast forest. Occasionally stopping at the odd camp set up and abandoned. Perhaps the occupants hadn't the time to pack it away, or they were infected now. Neither one of them wanted to give it any thought.

At some of the camps, they foraged for supplies. Others they took turns resting or keeping watch. Two days passed that they counted, because of a pack of possible hunters they chose to avoid, they had to detour taking another two days they didn't count.

They found themselves on what now seemed like a small cliff, looking down at a dried up lake. Deep at the bottom was the strangest building either of them had ever seen. At first glance, it appeared to be just an ordinary factory. Sounds of whirring machines, trucks outside packed up with some kind of product. The façade of the building however… parts of the bricks or cinderblocks were different. Drastically so. Made up from remnants of other buildings. As if many different pictures were taken, stacked up, cut into identical shaped jigsaw puzzles. All the puzzles mixed up together. The person-or people-putting it together at used whatever piece fit, regardless of if they matched or not.

"A factory?" Ellie asked, puzzled.

"A working factory," Joel said, as equally perplexed as she was.

Joel observed a man carrying a box to a truck, loading it inside and returning through the doors from whence he came. He glanced to Ellie, in the hope she might be able to use her talent for finding out what exactly the factory was making.

"On it," Ellie replied, understanding the look completely.

Ellie made her way down to the truck, while Joel waited. Unseen by either of them, someone else was making their way towards Joel's hiding spot. Only when they were so close, he could hear their voice, Joel hurried away, and found cover behind a tree with a thick wide trunk.

He observed a man wearing body armor, but his clothes were just as worn in as any other survivor's attire. The man had a look of cruelty in his eyes. Either he had given up on giving a shit about others, or he never cared to begin with. A young girl of about eleven or twelve stumbled behind him, he dragged her by the arm. She looked small, frightened. Her eyes searching for anyone to help her, pleading with even the trees to come to life and bat away this evil man.

Unlucky for the wicked man, that girl reminded Joel of Sarah. A little too much. Joel jumped out from his hiding place, lunged at the man. Out of surprise, the wicked man loosened his grip on the girl's wrist just enough for her to pull it free. She didn't need to be corrupted by seeing this man's fate. Joel dragged him kicking and thrashing, behind the tree. When Joel emerged moments later, his "new" switchblade had blood on it, and the man was dead.

The girl looked at him, shivering with fear.

"You're alright, kid, that man won't try to hurt you again," Joel told her.

This seemed to dispel some of her fear. Something moved in the trees. Fear stricken, she leapt behind Joel, clinging to him. He had saved her once, she hoped he could do it again. She had nothing to be afraid of.

Two people—a man and a woman—emerged first, followed by three other men, each of them armed with rifles and shotguns. Joel knew them all. Tommy and Maria, and three men from the scouting party.

"Joel?" said Tommy, his gaze searching for Ellie. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same to you," Joel replied.

"Where is Ellie?" Tommy asked.

"You first, brother."

Tommy and Maria exchanged glances, but it was Maria who was the first to talk. "After you and Ellie left first time, we found out about this place. It is where the bandits came from. They go to quarantine zones, offer people a better life, smuggle them out, and they end up here. I'm guessing this girl is one of them?"

Joel looked down at the girl peeking around him at the newcomers. "She is. One of them dragged her up here, and I made him let her go."

"He was a bad man," the little girl said, in a quiet little voice.

Maria called to one of the men of their group. "Take her back to the camp with the rest of them. Give her food, clothes, anything else she needs."

The little girl was reluctant to go at first, needing Joel's assurance they could be trusted. Once both the girl and the man under Maria's command were gone, the group turned their attention to the factory. Joel helped himself to the wicked man's body armor, the mask obscuring the lower part of his face, and an armband with a white formation of shapes that presumably was the group running the factory's logo.

"This is what the scouting party have been up to?" Joel asked.

Tommy nodded. "Coming out here, saving as many children as we can. Killing infected. We found out some time ago, they keep infected in the basement levels. Workers fail to do their jobs, they are lowered into the basement, bitten, then are tossed out into the woods to turn. The place is crawling with runners and clickers who got out."

"Some of those infected came after us," Joel elaborated.

"Where is Ellie?" Maria asked, hoping she hadn't been killed.

Joel put her mind at ease, without even knowing he had done so. "Gone down there, to find out what they are making."

Ellie chose that moment to climb up from the lakebed, to answer the question on everyone's mind. She set her backpack down, zipped it open, and presented a jar filled with pink jam. "Jam. These fuckers are making jam, and treating people like shit."

"Is it fresh?" Maria asked.

"You tell me," Ellie replied. "You three know a lot more about freshly made food than me."

"You're not going to eat that are you?" asked Tess, from somewhere behind Joel. No one else could see her or hear her. Only Joel.

"No," Joel muttered, in reply to Tess. Everyone looked to him. "I mean," Joel muttered, to cover up his slip, "No, I don't think we should eat it. What if these people are using more than infected to turn people. Making jam in the middle of nowhere, and forcing people to make it seems a little ridiculous, especially how things are now?"

Ellie looked at the pink glob contents. "So, maybe they are stuffing spores into the jam? Find a new way to infect people. Other than relying on runners to bite them. Sick bastards."

* * *

Tess left Joel and Bill in the other room, arguing about something, until they went quiet and uttering a few words over a dead body. She followed Ellie into the garage, where they found a blue pickup truck.

"Think this would work?" Tess asked.

"Maybe," Ellie replied. She opened the door, sat herself behind the wheel and turned the key in the ignition. It worked, sort of. The engine made a noise, but not powerful enough to get started. "Hey guys, look what I found!"

Joel and Bill came into the garage, to see the truck for themselves. This set Bill off, demanding abruptly that Ellie get out, so he could see for himself. He popped the hood, ranted about the battery, and some other guns nearby, accusing of someone named "Frank" stealing from him. Only after he got that out of his system, they made a plan to push it, to get the car started. Ellie wanted to drive it, but Tess insisted she do it instead. It had been years since Tess had driven a car, but there were no cops around now to pull her over. Joel went inside to gather supplies.

Ellie and Tess sat together in the front of the pickup.

"You alright, Ellie?" Tess asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Ellie replied. "As I can be, considering the infected, and Joel obviously hates me."

"Don't beat yourself up about that. Joel just has his way. Something in his past made him the way he is, and I think you remind him of that a little too much. So he builds this wall. Shut you out. Keep going."

The both of them fell silent, when Joel returned to give Bill a letter, that served only to put him in a worst mood.

* * *

Another one of the bandits was dead. He came up to the bank, looking for his friend. Tommy tackled him, made sure he could never hurt another human being again, and robbed him of his vest, mask and armband.

"Are we really going to do this?" Ellie asked. She didn't like the idea of being completely unarmed and without her backpack.

"We have to, Ellie, if we plan to blend in," Maria assured her.

Their plan was simple; _blend in, get some idea of what is going on, start with the tyrants that run the place, once they were dead, kill the infected._ How well that plan would actually work was yet to be decided.

Joel was in the same boat as Ellie. Having to leave his rucksack with some guy he barely knew, and hope he was still alive in a couple of hours to give it back. The rucksack contained the last remaining proof Sarah was ever alive; the photo Ellie had stolen for him. Walking towards the factory in plain sight made both Joel and Ellie uneasy. Their journeys had showed them the possibility of such a plan going well, was somewhere between nil and never going to happen.

"I can do this," Ellie whispered, under her breath. More assuring herself.

Sneaking through a village or two, a lodge, a steakhouse… those she could do. Watching their moves, picking them off one by one or just crawling by out of sight. This was something different entirely. Walking side by side with not only Maria, but many other girls and women desperate to get out of the factory and back to either a QZ or fend for themselves out in the wild.

Joel marched behind her, stopped her at the heavy doors. "Two found in the woods," Joel told him.

The masked man scrutinized Maria and Ellie, before giving a nod, and telling Joel and Tommy to take them to the recruitment sector. Not knowing where that was, Joel and Tommy entered the factory. There were conveyer belts, and big machinery and all sorts of things, Ellie was dying to ask Joel about. Until she saw the catwalk above, and was reminded of David, before he showed his true colors. Her expression fell, to that of fear. She blended in well.

Tommy patted the arm of his brother, pointing to a white line painted on the floor, into small lanes. One marked for new recruits, the other for workers. They followed for a while, getting lost. Passing by many sad and frightened men, women, boys and girls. Joel and Ellie had already decided—at different times—they would do whatever it took to get all of these people out and offer them sanctuary at Jackson, safe in the compound.

Joel felt like his head was splitting open, with the wham of the butt of a rifle slamming into the back of his head. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Tess's face, starring back at him. Laying beside him on the ground as if she had also felt the blow. He blinked, and the image of Tess faded away, revealing Ellie already unconscious.

* * *

His head resting on his hand, resisting the seductive temptation to drift off to sleep, Joel wished it would just be Tess's turn to drive already. Ellie had already made herself comfortable, reading some comic book in the back. Quiet, and entertained enough. Better that than be a burden to him.

"I meant what I said, you know," Tess insisted. "We really will lay low this time."

"Where ever that is, we're not getting back into Boston," Joel replied. Even his voice was laced with a little sleepiness, matching the droop of his eyes.

"Pull over, Joel; my turn to drive."

Joel obliged him. Making an abrupt stop, getting out, walking around to the passenger side—Tess had already scooted over. Climbed in. They were on their way again, driving down the road littered with rusted out wrecks of cars. One or two of them burnt out. They were silent for a while, until Ellie started ranting about how her comic had a cliffhanger, and how much she hated them. Eventually, she settled down and drifted off to sleep.

"You do realize this is real, right?" Tess told Joel.

"What is?" Joel muttered, wearily.

"The girl is telling the truth. You saw her bite as well as I did. How long we have been traveling together, she would have turned by now. This is real."

Joel glanced into the back at the sleeping girl burdening them. "Alright, I'll play along. She is immune. Tess, what are we doing? Travelling halfway across the country or further, just to get the girl to wherever Marlene planned her to go. Then what? I doubt Tommy will even want to see me, if he even does know where the fireflies are. We hand over the girl. You know we aren't getting back into Boston easily, even if we want to get our payment."

"Then we go somewhere else," Tess replied.

That perked Joel up from his exhaustion, like a bucket of water to the face. "Tess, really? You want to start over, somewhere else. No respect. No credibility. No ration cards. Nothing. Not even a place to stay."

"No, not for a minute. Joel, think about it. The back of this truck is reasonable sized. All the cities we might cross along the way. Groups we could make a deal with. Gather our own cache of supplies. We sit on whatever we find. Let the buzz over us die down. The military will get complacent, lax their security. Smuggle our supplies in, and clean up with all the ration cards to set ourselves up for a good long time."

"That does sound like a good idea," Joel admitted.

Silence lingered for miles. More than Joel bothered to count. He almost fell asleep. Jerking himself out of any possible sleep, when Tess came to a sudden stop. They were on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. The road to the left was completely blocked off with row after row of rusted out reddish brown cars. To the right, they could just barely get through. Something wasn't right. Tess knew it. Joel knew it. Even Ellie knew it, who just woke up. Yawning, stretching her arm. Leaning on the back of Tess's seat.

Tess and Joel looked to one another, wanting to discuss their options. Doing so would waste time. Time they might not have. From the foreboding line up of cars that would force them to go on foot, or what appeared to be an easy drive through.

"Your call, Joel," said Tess.

"Right," Joel decided.


	4. Was There Ever Any Doubt?

I'd like to start once again, by thanking all my readers; Thank you all for reading.

This chapter, I had to do a little something different. For starters, there is no AU flashback. Don't worry! Tess, Joel and Ellie will be back to their Pittsburgh adventures possibly in the next chapter. My reason for skipping them, was there was too much going on. Hopefully, that won't affect your enjoyment too much.

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

 _Was There Ever Any Doubt?_

In the darkness of the room, sobs could be heard coming from all around. Some of sadness. Fear. Begging. Calling out for someone stolen away. Some who had given up, no fight left in them. Desperate to get out, but not willing to fail on the job and spend their last moments of humanity with the cordyceps ravishing their brain.

Joel woke up in the corner the bandits had thrown him into, his head splitting. He couldn't see a thing, not even the tip of his own nose. Slowly he reached towards someone near his shoulder, and found a hand. The hand of a woman, not small enough to be Ellie's.

"Maria?" he whispered.

"Joel," was whispered back.

His eyes were flooded with a blinding light. He blinked profusely, in an attempt to become accustomed to the light. Rubbing his eyes with his fist. The light moved from glaring him in the face, down to the ground. Maria had a small flashlight in her hand, she eased herself up off the ground. Moving shakily. There was a large bruise partially obscured by her hairline, the rest marking her forehead. That must have been where the bandits hit her.

"Sorry," Maria said. "I wasn't sure if it worked."

"No worries," Joel replied, easing himself off the floor. "Where the hell are we?"

"I don't know. We should find Tommy and Ellie, before we begin figuring that out."

Joel and Maria made their way across the vast dark room, weaving around row after row of bunk beds—some beds stacked three high, as soon as the light of beam hit their faces or their bed, people recoiled away, seeking the dark shadows outside its reach. There was nothing either Maria or Joel could do for them now. One woman didn't move. She sobbed, holding a small shirt for a little girl. Her features reminded him of the girl he had saved. He knew this woman is the girl's mother. Sat on the dingy floor, as small as she could make herself; her knees pulled up to her chest.

Stopping near the row of bunks, leaned in close to her, Joel whispered, "Your girl is safe. Our people took her away. The sicko who took her from you is dead."

The woman perked up. Tears staining her cheeks, but no more fell from her eyes. She dropped the little shirt on her own lower bunk, took Joel's hands in her own, and said "thank you" over and over. She let go of his hands, snatched her pillow, and pulled a handgun from it. "I stole this from them… please take it. Kill as many as you can."

Joel took the gun. "I will do, ma'am. If I can, I will get you to your daughter."

"I lost hope of seeing her again in this life. Look after her for me."

* * *

Feeling like shit, Ellie awoke to find herself in a cage beside an unconscious Tommy. She looked around. They were suspended above a pit, with a familiar clicking sound down below. The pit went so deep and dark, not even the light touched it. Ellie felt her stomach plummet, and her blood run cold. She was safe, but Tommy… oh, no… he would turn. Maria would lose him. Frantically she punched his shoulder, hoping to wake him.

"Tommy, get up!" she hissed.

Ellie searched the cage. There was barely enough room for Tommy to lay flat. Perhaps enough to rock it. After that, anything could happen. If she rocked it far enough, she might just reach the rail guard around the catwalk. She lacked the strength to hold them for long. That is why Tommy had to wake up, like right now.

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and slapped him until he groaned and came too. Tommy muttered something about feeling like a possum on the highway; Ellie decided now wasn't the time to ask him to elaborate. She quickly filled him in on the plan, and then set to work, hurling themselves at one side of the cage, then the other. Back and forth. Back and forth. Repeating it over and over, until they could both grab hold of the rail guard. The rail was surprisingly strong. Tommy lowered himself to the floor. Wrapped his arms and legs tight against the bar of the rails.

"Kid, there is a hatch up there," Tommy told Ellie.

"On it," she replied. "How?"

"Stand on my shoulders or something. We better hurry, or we will both end up dead."

Obliging, Ellie stepped up on Tommy shoulders, reached up and pulled the clasp open—it gave surprisingly quickly. She climbed up, slid across the top, and dropped on the catwalk. There was a conveniently placed pile of rope near where she landed. She snatched it up, feeding the rope through the bars to Tommy, tied it up on her end, waited for Tommy to do the same and join her. Once on the catwalk, he pulled a knife from his boot, and cut the rope, letting the cage swing back to place.

They ducked behind a stack of boxes, waited for some men to walk on by. One stopped, remaining a few feet away, with his back to them. Ellie whispered to Tommy, asking him to let here borrow the knife. Knowing the girl was good with a gun and a knife, he handed it over. Remaining low to the ground, Ellie moved quietly and quickly. She stopped at a box behind him. The man groaned, complaining about watch duty. As he put it; _"I'm a fucking babysitter to these lazy asses."_ He sat down on the very box Ellie was hiding behind.

Ellie seized her moment, rising, her arm across his mouth to muffle any screams. She stabbed him in the neck, and dropped him. He let out a few croaks, and died. Ellie grabbed key from his belt, returned to Tommy. They had to move, to avoid detection. They found a white cabin just off the walk way. The key apparently opened it, the two of them slipped inside for safety. The room served as a lounge for people to either catch forty winks on the couch, or get a cup of coffee or a snack from the fridge. Ellie locked the door behind them.

"I think we are safe for now," Ellie said. She pulled a latch higher up from the lock on the door, and one down below. "Hopefully this is the only key."

"Looks fancy," Tommy said, glancing around at the bare but clean lounge. There were some faded photos taped to the wall. "Well, fancy for these times," he added, in reply to Ellie's doubtful look. "It is most likely for the higher ups."

"At least we have a base to return to," Ellie stated.

* * *

Turning the flashlight off, Maria reached for the door handle, opened it slowly and met the beam of a flashlight, verbal abuse, and the door was pulled shut, and locked. She turned to Joel, they realized they were out of options. Locked in, and no way to get out.

"This is obviously living quarters for the people they force into employment," Joel said, out loud. "I doubt this door is the only way out. There has to be something."

Someone called out to them. Maria turned flashlight on, but was unable to catch the person trying to talk to them. All they saw was a foot and the hem of a dress. Presumably this was the girl's mother again. She moved through the room, forcing them to attempt to follow her, straining their ears for even the slightest sound. The three of them moved around the maze of bunk beds, until they reached a cabinet pushed right up against the wall.

Joel searched around the cabinet with his fingers, at the top, he discovered a door frame. Called out to Maria to help him move it. There was nothing on it, making their element of stealth a lot easier. Joel stood one end, Maria at the other, they lifted it off the ground, took a few steps to Joel's right—Maria's left, and set it down just far enough across the floor to open the door they had uncovered.

Carefully opening the door, Joel peered out this time, and found boxes of empty jam jars. None of them had labels. Maria followed out after him, and shut the door behind her. The sound of an alarm rang out through the whole factory. Any bandit on the floor headed up to the catwalks; climbing chains, up ladders, stairs. Anyway available. Maria grabbed an empty box large enough to cover a crouching person, handed it to Joel. She pulled another over herself. The hiding place had many flaws, but it would do while there were men stomping around on the catwalks, searching for something or someone. A group argued near a cabin somewhere above them.

"Joel… move," Maria hissed at him.

Understanding her, Joel shuffled along a few yards, still covered by the box. He had no idea where he was going, just moving forward. Stopped abruptly, and let the box drop into place. He felt like a tortoise. A clumsy clunky tortoise, gone completely blind.

* * *

Her heart slammed against her chest so hard, for one moment Ellie allowed herself to imagine it might just burst right out her chest. Not that this was really the time for pretend. The Employers—as Ellie mentally called them—had found the body of the man she had killed. An alarm rang out. Some of them were arguing outside the door, trying to figure out who had the only key to the door.

Ellie and Tommy remained hidden behind the sofa, hoping that none of the Employers got the idea to smash the door down.

"We will get through this," Tommy whispered, to reassure her.

"How? We are locked in, and we have one knife between us. Not good odds."

Tommy's hand moved in a strange pattern, feeling the upholstery of the sofa. Not quite. This ain't a sofa."

He cut the fabric of the upholstery away. Hidden within the sofa was some automatic rifles, and enough alcohol and cloth to make at least a dozen Molotovs. No words were needed. Both Ellie and Tommy had a way to turn the tides on these fuckers, and dispose of the infected. After mixing up as many Molotovs as they could, they armed themselves with a rifle. Ellie unlocked and unbolted the door. Slowly opened the door, and Tommy unleashed a spray of about ten bullets at the two men outside, their lifeless bodies stumbled over the rails, and plummeted down to the infected pit.

Tommy hurried out onto the catwalk, remaining low towards the rails. Ellie followed him, hurling a Molotov down into the pit of infected. They made a good team. While one shot at approaching Employers, the other reloaded their gun. Once they had finished, they threw another "fiery cocktail" down to the infected, the other would stop, and do the same. Taking it in turns to shoot. If one needed to patch up their wounds, the other would cover them.

A lot of screaming and frantic running went on below, during the whole ordeal.

* * *

Once the sound of shooting rang through the whole factory, there was no need for Joel or Maria to hide any more. They flung the boxes off themselves, dashed back to the living quarters of the enslaved workers. Shouted for them to get out, and make for the doors. Go out into the woods, go to the numerous encampments scattered through the woods, and stay there. People who they are to trust, will ask them if they know Maria or Tommy. Most of the people in that room assumed Joel to be Tommy, having never heard either of their names.

Joel and Maria followed the terrified people fled towards the doors. There had to be over a hundred people, or thereabouts, of all ages. Some barely even out of babyhood, being held tight by frightened mothers. Maria grabbed Joel's arm, steering him towards a stairway. A body tumbled down it, leaving a rifle just asking for Joel to pick it up. They headed up the stairs, adding to the gun fight. Moments into the fight, Maria armed herself with a fallen gun.

Coming at the enemy from both angles, eliminated the enemy pretty quickly. Maria and Joel created a system of their own; kill a few Employers, move closer. Keep going until a single strip of catwalk separated them from Tommy and Ellie.

When the four met, Ellie was in the process of using up what "cocktails" they had left, throwing them down to wipe out the last of the infected—if here were still any alive down there.

"The people they enslaved?" Tommy asked.

"All of them have fled to the woods," Maria replied. "Gone to all the camp checkpoints we set up."

"Infected?" Joel asked.

Ellie provided the answer to this question; "I think most of them are dead. We've thrown a dozen of these things down there. I doubt there are any left alive."

"We should find a way down there to make sure," Joel muttered.

"Or," Ellie said. "We wait it out. There are two other cabins. One of these bodies could have the keys. This cabin was loaded with weapons. Check what all of the others have. I mean, these can't be all the people in their group. A pretty small army, considering how many people we saw escaping this place."

"That does sound like a good idea," Maria agreed. "We search the other cabins. Wait until sunset—that is usual for shift changes. If no one comes, how about we find their settlement. This can't be the only place where they force people to work."

"We go find the settlement after we clear the infected, right?" Ellie asked.

"Sure, Ellie," Joel said. "How about you and I take care of that now, and Maria and Tommy search the cabins."

"No," Tommy cut in. "Joel did suggest we wipe out the infected. If we leave them alive, they could get out. Bite any number of the people you sent out into the woods. Just like that, the infection walks into our compound. We do this together. Kill the infected first, just like Ellie said. Maria, we go through with your plan after. At some point, we have to check if this jam is edible. This amount of food could make winter a whole lot easier, making the bread taste sweeter."

"We will talk about that after we deal with the infected," Joel suggested.

"Fair point, both of you," Maria said.

"Or," Ellie said. "I could eat some."

"Ellie, you're immune," Joel pointed out.

"That is why I have to do it. I know what spore riddled air smells and tastes like. Nothing drowns it out. If I taste something weird, I'll tell you."

Joel gave in. "Alright, go ahead." In honesty, Joel did want to eat some fresh jam again. That was one of the things he missed from before the cordyceps; eating toast smeared with jam during the week, marmalade at the weekend, with a boiled egg and his morning coffee.

Ellie walked back into the cabin, opened cupboard above the mini-fridge, and found more than enough jam sitting beside a bag of coffee beans. "Joel, you might want to come in here. I found coffee, and I think the coffee maker works."

Ellie wasn't the only one to indulge in a treat. Joel made him a strong cup of coffee, breathed in the scent. That cup of coffee was the best cup he had ever drank. Twenty two years really was too long to wait, to taste a good old cup o' joe. After Ellie opened the jar, she stuck her finger into the pink glob, and tasted it.

"Does it taste strange?" Maria asked.

"Nope," Ellie replied. "Just strawberries and sugar."

"Just to make sure, we should get one of those people who own the place to eat it. If they are reluctant, we know this jam isn't clean."

Joel took the jar from Ellie. "Oh, give it here."

Trusting Ellie's word, he too ate some of the jam. It tasted good. So good for that matter, that it stirred up a memory of the last time he ever ate breakfast with Sarah. A tear fell from his eye, as she kept dropping hints about something. Possibly his birthday. How bad was that? Forgot his own damn birthday. If she hadn't have given him that watch, it could have sailed right by him, and he'd never have realized.

"There," Joel said. "If I turn, shoot me. Ellie, you know the signs."

Ellie nodded. She had seen it happen three times. First with Riley. Watching her become less and less like Riley as the clock ticked on. Then Tess's irrationalness. Sam losing that love for life spirit, as the impending change loomed over him.

* * *

Finding the basement level proved a task in itself.

The only way in seemed to be the very pit they did not want to jump into. Ellie filled Joel in on all the details of how she and Tommy escaped, and gave Joel an idea in the process. His plan involved Tommy and Maria searching for the controls—and they found them, far across the catwalk. Having to climb up on a cabin, up to the rafters, shimmy across them, to a much smaller cabin in the dead center of the vast ceiling. The husband and wife pair were glad they had found it together, because the controls required both of them to move the cages. Maria's side had moving the cages horizontally, Tommy's were vertically.

All of the cages rose up towards the roof, across from the pit. There was no room for it to land on the catwalk, and the dried blood from the bodies would attract infected quicker. If there were any runners or stalkers down there, would smell it, make a noise and attract anything else above them on the infected evolution chain. It was lowered down on the roof of the cabin, that contained the weapons, coffee and jam.

Joel knitted his fingers together, giving Ellie a boost up.

"There isn't a ladder up here, this time," Ellie called down.

"It's alright, I'll find a way, like always."

Just as Joel entered the cabin to look for something, Ellie called down, "Wait, Joel, I found some rope and a pretty big box up here."

Stepping out, Joel replied, "Throw the rope down. The box might break through the floor or something."

Ellie grabbed one end of the rope, tied it around a couple of bars of the cage, tossed the rest of it down for Joel to climb. Once they were both on the roof of the cabin, they saw another flaw; getting the cage open again, then locking possible infected out. Joel climbed up first, offered Ellie his hand to help her up.

"I don't think we can close the hatch properly from the inside," said Ellie.

"If we fight them off well enough, that won't matter."

"You're right," Ellie admitted. "Thanks for that back there. Taking the risk."

"Ellie, as if there is any doubt on me trusting your word. Baby Girl, I trust you with my life."

"What if I'm wrong, and you are now infected?"

"Then it is my time to go. I'm surprised I lived this long." He noticed the look of sadness in her eyes, stroked her shoulder. "Hey, Ellie, I don't feel I want to go. We all got to go sometime. I'm thankful every day I got to meet you. If it is my time, then, I get to go on. Be with Sarah. Tess. Henry. Sam. All the people who died for this. I might even see your friend."

"Riley. Joel, if you died, I don't know what I would do."

"Ellie, you know what I am going to say."

"I keep finding something to fight for."

"Exactly. Don't make the same mistake I did, in shutting people out."

The caged jerked. There was their cue to get in the thing—and Joel told Ellie more or less those exact words.


	5. Should I Lie?

GOOD NEWS! A NEW CHAPTER, AND THE AU FLASHBACKS ARE BACK! This chapter came out a little bit shorter than the last four, but if I felt it would be dragging it out just to fill word count, and that wouldn't feel right. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

 _Should I Lie?_

Stale dank air. Not a spore in sight—that made Joel feel a whole lot better about leaving his gasmask back in the woods. A whole load of dead infected. On the floors, in cages along the walls; clickers, many runners, a stalker or two, and a bloater. All of them dead, caught in the chaos of many molotovs thrown down into the pit. They had no place to escape. No doors or windows. Four walls boxing them in. One way in or out, and a cage had just lowered Ellie and Joel through it.

"Fuck! This many infected?" Ellie said, at the sight of the numerous infected bodies. "How twisted do you have to be, to build a room like this?"

"Fear," Joel replied. "Fear something enough, it grows. Bigger and bigger, until your only weapon is fear itself."

"Like Bill. And the Fireflies."

"Yes."

"Come, let's get out of here. Go back, tell Maria and Tommy we will go after whoever did this. Get our stuff."

Ellie nodded. "Jackson is their cause. Killing infected is ours."

* * *

The car had barely entered the highway, when Joel suddenly told Tess to stop. His instincts had gotten the better of him. There were just too damn many cars. Something weren't right, and he knew it. Abandoning the truck was a risky move, but they had to leave it. The three of them taking their things, going on foot. Sneaking from cover to cover behind cars, listening for any whisper or sound of anything other than the wind.

Tess stopped a few feet away from Joel, hiding behind a rusted old wreck of a sedan. Holding up her hand, gesturing for him to wait. Lingering close to her, Ellie looked for Tess for guidance. There was a single man waiting ahead, with blood on his shirt. He hadn't seen them yet. The obvious hunter turned his back to them. Tess seized her moment, pointing to Joel. Obliging her, an arrow soared from the bow Joel had equipped and found its marked in the hunter's head.

"Come on, Ellie, there will be more around," Tess said, pulling the girl towards a RV.

"Wait, Tess," said Joel, walking towards them. "That is exactly right. There will be more. I'm betting they don't even check the cars. We get in that RV and wait."

Tess looked to Ellie. He had a point; a city that size had to be crawling with something. Hunters, infected or both. Waiting out the patrols was the best of their abysmal choices, and it served them well. Watching hunters come, dismiss the vehicles as dried out garbage, not worth their time. Joel watched while the girls slept. During Tess's turn, Ellie wanted to keep watch, but they didn't trust her, and she knew it. She waited until snoring came from the sleeping compartment. Emerged from the cocoon of blankets that she was pretty much buried under. Sat beside Tess, looking out the windshield.

"Can't sleep?" asked Tess.

"Why don't you and Joel trust me?" Ellie blurted out.

"We do."

"Yeah, feels like it," Ellie said, sarcastically.

"We do," Tess insisted a second time.

"I'm just a ticket to get those guns."

"Alright, yeah. At first, you were. Now, I'm not sure. Neither of us have gone this far from the QZ for a job before. No matter how lucrative. We help other people get in or out, and they pay us with whatever they can give, for us to sell for cards. That is how it goes." Tess turned in her seat, looking into the dark RV. "As for showing trust; Joel and I have known each other fifteen years. We'd known each other three months before we would go out on a job together, another six before we handled firearms. Almost a year when he saved my life, later that same day I saved his. The rest, was built by time and surviving. If there is such thing as friendship anymore, this is pretty close."

"So, I'm expecting too much too quick."

Tess nodded. "Exactly. I think we should make a move. No patrol in over an hour. These things come every half hour."

* * *

Plenty of people came back to the factory—and all of them friendly. People from the compound, and adults they had freed chose to help pack up the jam and fresh fruit, to transport it back to Jackson. Sticking around would mean going back. They slipped away undetected. Armed with their rucksacks and weapons, two survivors on a mission. They were grateful for the assistance in the factory—if it were just the two of them, the day could have had a very different end. Two survivors enduring right to the end, laid to rest in an unmarked grave.

Joel and Ellie walked through the trees, optimistic their choice had been the right one. They saw just how right, a mile from the factory, at a cliff edge a thirty feet up from a road. Ellie didn't see them at first, until Joel reached out his hand, holding her back. They slipped under the shelter of a nearby shrub. Watching, waiting, hoping to spare some lives instead of killing innocents.

Down on the road was a group of four; two men, a little boy, and a carefree little girl skipping around them and a broken down car.

"People," Ellie whispered. "Should we…?"

"No," Joel whispered back. "If they are those captors, we follow them."

One of the men was about six foot tall, Hispanic, and looked strangely "tidy" for a survivor. His clothes were adorned with the usual grime of someone living off the land, but his black hair had a styled but messy spiky look, and a soul patch on his chin. Even the rips on his jeans looked too placed, as if someone had cut them that way. He held a wrench, working on the engine—Joel knew barely enough about engine maintenance, but even he could tell the man wasn't fixing it. Beside him was a boy of ten, who was his double. He must be the man's son.

"Dad, you're fixing it wrong," the boy complained, standing on a box near the open hood, watching his father's 'handy work.'

His father laughed, ruffling up the boy's chin length black hair. "Junior, I know what I'm doing. I've been doing this since I was younger than even you."

"And how many cars have you blown up?" the other man asked. He had sandy brown hair, that just didn't seem to lay flat. He ran his hand through it, trying to brush it flat, but it stuck right back up again.

"Pre-cordyceps or after?"

The sandy brown haired man said, "Pre-cordyceps."

"About a hundred, or thereabouts. That was different, LB. Those were for fun. Nice car fire to make the day awesome." He straightened up, inhaled air deeply. "Rigging a car, and sitting back and watching it go BOOM, BABY!"

Junior rolled his eyes, at the final two words.

Listening to Junior, LB, and the third guy discussing car explosions was all well, but Ellie's attention was drawn to the little girl. She had to be about six at most. Golden haired, and a big smile on her face. Skirt of her dress flapping around below her knees as she skipped and twirled. Serenading the flowers and the trees with her sweet giggles. One of her long socks rolled down from above her knees to her ankle, as she stooped down to pluck a piece of cloth from the ground.

She skipped over to the sandy haired man presumably called LB, and presented it to him. "Look what I found, Daddy! Can we use this?"

LB examined it. "Sure!" Even if they couldn't, he hadn't the heart to just tell her that and upset her. "Better pull your sock up, to keep you safe."

Ellie looked to the calve of the girl's right leg, there was a blemish that surprised Ellie so much, she had to cover her own mouth with her hands to stop herself from laughing. An infected bite.

"Joel," she whispered. "Look! That girl, she is infected."

Taken back, Joel looked to the girl's leg. Rolled up Ellie's sleeve and looked at hers. Both of them were healing. The girl's wasn't as far along as Ellie's, but she was certainly immune. No infected would skip around and giggle, or even pick up supplies for their father.

A sound boomed in the distance—the unnamed man looked pretty pleased with himself, muttering a proud "Boom, baby!" They abandoned their car, grabbing backpacks, and a few necessities, and ran. Further down the road, until it rounded the corner and out of sight.

Her eyes open wide, Ellie turned away from the cliff-edge, pulling her knees up under her chin. "Joel…"

"Ellie?"

"I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

She looked him in the eyes. "Doubting you. What happened with the Fireflies, I did for a while doubt you. I thought you were lying to me. Coming up with some crazy story just to cover up for something horrible. I let it go, because I figured you were lying to protect me. All of it. Everything about the Fireflies stopped looking for a cure, and there being loads of people like me. Every word is true. That girl being alive is proof. The Fireflies never came looking for me."

"It's alright, Ellie." Joel turned away. He had lied. Covered something up. If they had never seen that little girl, it would just be one almost forgotten lie. Now he had to face a lie being a truth.

* * *

Cloaked in the darkness of the night, Tess and Ellie crept down the sloping road towards an abandoned convenience store. Joel had already gone ahead, watching from a small alley to the side of the store, hidden behind a hollow car frame. Watching the garage across from him. Occasionally it opened, and he caught the glimpse of human bodies, and heaps of clothes and supplies.

 _Fucking hunters,_ he thought to himself.

Ellie and Tess just barely reached him, when they heard voices. A man running into the alley, shouting, "Tourists!"

"Calm down," another man from the group who met him replied. "Where?"

"Up that road. A blue truck. Signs of life in it, and in an RV."

"We'll find 'em," said another member of the group.

The garage door was wide open.

This was their chance.

Tess grabbed Ellie, pulled her close, whispered right in her ear; "Run for the garage door, go through that door, don't look, just keep going until you find somewhere to hide." She let the girl go, and gave her a shove.

Joel couldn't leave the girl to fend for herself. Before he knew what was going on, Tess had disappeared into the store, and Ellie was making a break for the garage. There was a commotion somewhere, and he suspected Tess had something to do with it. Men shouting about some bitch, and adding a few more choice words about the situation. He ran after Ellie, through the garage to the stairwell. Joel found the girl sat on one of the stairs, picking at a hole in the step where her foot rested, with a switchblade.

He shut the door behind himself. "I thought Tess told you to hide," Joel whispered.

"There are some of those fuckers up there," Ellie whispered back. "Thought I'd wait for Tess."

"No, you're going to follow her instructions."

He crept past her, and up the stairs. Lingered at the top, peeking into the hall. There were voices alright, but nothing but small talk. Bragging about kills, women, and talking about a time long gone. Joel gestured for Ellie to follow him. Moving slowly, reached an open door. Waited a few moments. Chanced a glance. All of them either laying down, or had their backs to the door. Joel slipped by, moved until he found a door leading out to a yard. There were burned corpses. Tess joined them only five minutes later, not a scratch on her.

* * *

Along the road, heading towards the ominous explosion in the distance, Ellie gave a thought for Maria, Tommy and all the people they had set free. There was no way to know at that very moment, everyone enslaved was given the all clear, none infected. All on their way to Jackson County. Their disappearance noted by Maria, and Tommy hoping they find whatever it is they are looking for.

Ellie was quiet. Lost in her thoughts. From what they had left behind, to what she had seen not so long ago.

"Something on your mind, Ellie?" Joel asked.

"Just, that girl."

"I figured you might be."

"She is so small. How could she have survived, and be so happy?"

"Maybe she has just been lucky. What about the kids back in Jackson. None of them know anything beyond the walls. Infected to them is just the enemy of a scary story around a campfire."

"True. That makes it even sadder."

"It is. Don't you be thinking about that. People's lives are different."

"Joel, if Sarah was bitten, what would you have done?"

"Anything."

"If she did turn?"

"I'd stay with her right to the end, and let her turn me, too."

Ellie had another question for him; _What if she was immune?_ She chose not to ask it. He was already starting to close down. Every answer he gave was so final. As if each one would end it. Abrupt, without any explanation. She noted him rubbing his hand against the broken watch he had worn for twenty two years, and dropped it entirely.

"You can shut her out, she will keep asking," Tess told him. Still the lingering phantom of his guilt wouldn't go. For a while back there in the factory, Joel believed he was free of the guilt of her death. There she was, walking beside him. Constant reminder.

Joel slumped wearily against a tree. His head aching. Exhaustion came at him all at once. Ellie made the decision they rest. Night was on the way, and they hadn't seen any infected in a long time.

* * *

Steel beams groaned around the elevator. This thing was going to give, and the three of them needed to get off the damn thing already. Joel hurried over to the open doors above his head, gave Tess a boost. Then Ellie. Something jerked in the mechanism. Tess reached out to him. Rapidly, he plummeted down, plunging into pitch black icy waters, frantically trying to surface. He burst through the surface of the water, gasping for air. Filling his lungs.

"JOEL!"

"DON'T LEAVE ME NOW, TEXAS!"

"I'M ALRIGHT!" Joel shouted back. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"NO! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Ellie informed him.

"FIND A WAY UP TO US! WE'LL TRY TO FIND YOU," Tess instructed.

Tess turned away from the open doors, run towards a nearby stairwell. Before following, Ellie lingered, looking down into the water. If only she could swim… they could have jumped in after him. She hurried after Tess, descending the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Ellie asked.

"To find Joel," Tess replied.

"Have you been here before?"

"Something like that."

"With Joel?"

"With someone who isn't around anymore."

"Who?"

"My brother."

* * *

A long and tiring walk, where they had to stop to eat once, and sit down for a few moments at least three times, they finally reached their destination, and they really wished they hadn't. A big crater in the tarmac greeted them. The debris of numerous exploded cars. Charred bark on the nearby trees. Bodies of people, just scattered about like pieces of mistake riddled paper.

"That ain't right," Joel muttered.

Ellie dashed over to one of the few bodies intact. "Joel! Look!" She pointed to the band on the corpse's arm. "I saw those back at the factory. Those people must have been trying to escape those Employers."

Joel looked towards the road ahead. "Their settlement must be that way."

"Hold on!" Ellie dashed off, moving through the trees before Joel could ask her what she had seen.

He followed her, climbing over a fallen tree. There was something ahead, but he couldn't figure it out. At least, not while he was running along confused to where the hell he was going. In a clearing, he found Ellie watching some bird, that had dropped something.

A teddy bear?

In her hands, Ellie held a ratty old teddy bear, half caked in mud, and made up from mis-matched fabric pieces. She looked at the ribbon around its neck, and found the initials A.H.

"A.H," Ellie repeated. "I wonder who that is."

"Who knows. Could have come off a grave for all we know—hey, you're not really putting that thing in your backpack are you?"

Ellie zipped her backpack shut, and returned it to her back. The teddy bear inside. "Yep. I might find A.H. and give him or her the teddy bear back."

"Alright. I doubt we will find the kid, but you're the one carrying it."


	6. Am I Alone?

I first want to start by thank everyone who has read the last chapters, and also the guest reviewer, who reviewed the last chapter. (I really appreciate your interest in this story, and hope future chapters don't disappoint you.)

I have a gift! Sort of. I'm going to share the playlist I listened to, while writing the AUs. There are six "parts" or "sections" to this chapter. 1, 3 and 5 are AUs. For **1** , I listed to _Warzone_ by _The Wanted_. **3** is _Wrecking Ball_ by _Miley Cyrus_ , this one might not make much sense right now, but it really did feel right. Lastly, number **5** is _Roar_ by _Katy Perry._ For the others, was pretty much any random song on my MP3 player, until those songs came on. No biggie, if you don't want to listen to them.

Before this turns into a pre-chapter wall of text, I'll conclude with asking for a little advice. I forgot to factor in one detail with the AUs; Callus. There is no way three people can ride on the back of the same horse. If anyone has any suggestions on how I could create an alternate solution, to how they could all get from Tommy's dam to the university, without two horses, I'd appreciate that, 'cause I'm stumped.

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIX**

 _Am I Alone?_

Tess reached the bottom of the stairs, booted the door off its hinges with a single kick. It ripped part of the frame away from the wall. A man ran towards the door, and was greeted with a bullet from her pistol. Ellie looked to her stunned—now she got it, why Marlene chose Tess and Joel for this. Joel was dead inside, and Tess was like a walking warzone. She beckoned Ellie to follow her. They moved head on through a few different corridors, down stairwells, and another lift shaft. Thankfully, this one didn't give way. Moving, and shooting anything that moved. Tess had granted Ellie a crowbar to use as a weapon, and it was quite effected. Anything moved close enough to her, one strike with the crowbar, and Tess ended the attacking hunter with a bullet. Just like that.

They stopped on the metal box elevator, popped open the hatch and dropped inside. Ellie used her crowbar to open the doors, and dropped it. The metal box started to shake. Tess pulled her out just in time, before it plummeted back to terra firma. Ellie's heart was racing so much, she could barely speak. Just gasp for breath, and follow after Tess, who ran down the corridor. There were two rooms ahead, the one to the left turned to what must have been a conference room, to the right was a second floor bar lounge, overlooking a restaurant. Most of the floor had rotted away.

Tess chose the bar lounge, and a good thing too, not only did they avoid detection by a hunter in the conference room, they saw Joel getting into a gunfight with a couple of hunters. Ellie went to call to him, but Tess raised her hand to silence the girl. Joel climbed a ladder, and met the boot of a hunter at the top. The hunter's victory lasted five seconds, before a bullet from Tess's gun sprayed his brains all over the wall. His corpse followed Joel down the ladder.

"Sleeping on the job, Texas?" Tess called down to her fellow smuggler.

Joel shoved the dead hunter off him, let out a quick laugh. Stood. "What took you so long?"

"You know how it is. Lots of people wanting to meet me."

Joel begun climbing the ladder. Tess turned to Ellie.

"Come on, let's get some much earned rest. We'll go over to the bar."

Ellie blinked. How the fuck…? What the fuck…? Tess goes into a whiplash of worrying about Joel, killing everything that moved, then joking and concern again?

Following Tess's instructions, Ellie followed her over the very narrow walkway—it was so narrow in fact, she had to press her back flat against the wall, edge along one foot step, then bring the other to meet, then again, and again, praying she didn't fall down to the restaurant below. If hunters and infected didn't kill her first, being around Tess for too long might just do it. The moment the floor opened up wide enough, Ellie fell to her knees, before being pulled back up onto her feet again. She stumbled over to a nearby sofa and collapse. Hey, at least she found a new comic book to read.

* * *

Empty city, as lifeless as the rock Ellie hid behind. Shrouded in plant overgrowth. Littered with abandoned vehicles, colored with rust and mold. Houses empty shells, offering shelter to who knows what. Nothing moved, but a gentle breeze carrying leaves into the air. Ellie was reminded of Lincoln. To Joel, all these abandoned towns and cities were all the same. Only thing to differentiate them was the height and quantity of the buildings. This was just a small town, and in this time was the worst.

Joel was distracted, and Ellie could tell. Looking off into space, distant about something. He was looking at the town, but not really seeing it.

"Joel?" Ellie asked, concerned. She had to give him a nudge, and say his name a second time, before he even heard her. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Joel lied. "Just not sleeping is all."

"Nightmares about Sarah again?"

"Yeah, that is it."

Joel was lying, and Ellie saw it. First, he hadn't touched his watch at all, during their whole conversation. When Sarah was on his mind, he always touched the watch, reminding himself of the last gift she ever gave him. The watch she had saved up so much money for, and got Tommy to take her to the store to buy. Tommy had told him a year ago how Sarah got the watch, thinking he was helping, but it only made things worse.

"We could find a place to rest for a while," Ellie decided.

"No, we keep moving," Joel dismissed.

"Joel, what is a day or two? If you're not rested, you're just asking for infected to kill you."

Joel gave in. He had no choice. His body was too weary, and his mind was getting that way. Dark rings under his eyes had shown that. Getting from the crater in the road to here had taken days, and that was with the occasion three hour rest—an hour and a half each to sleep. Maybe the factory wasn't as organized as Maria had presumed it to be.

"Alright, Ellie," Joel replied.

* * *

Pouring a glass of scotch Joel had found behind the bar, he offered Tess a glass. Ellie had asked for some, and was flatly refused. They were shitty people, but they weren't about to let a fourteen year old girl drink liquor on their watch. She had to make do with a surprisingly well preserved can of soda, they had found in the kitchens below. Hey, they had presented it in a nice glass. Tess even let her crack open a can of apple slices, and stick it on the rim like a cocktail garnish. Ellie watched them from the couch.

Joel handed Tess a glass, and kept one for himself. "My lady," Joel joked.

"What a gentleman," she quipped right back.

Ellie rolled her eyes, choosing to focus her attention on Savage Starlight and her journeys.

"Here is to not dying yet," said Tess, raising her glass.

"And, coming pretty damn close," Joel replied.

They clinked the glasses together, and downed the contents. A heavy silence lingered between them. Tess rested her hand on the bar, swirling around the dregs of her scotch around with the other. Looking at the brown liquid was easier than looking at him right now.

"Joel, I get it, you know," Tess said, almost a whisper. Loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough for Ellie to possibly not.

"What?" Joel replied, playing dumb. He knew what she was talking about, and the way he more or less slammed the glass down on the bar proved it.

"Why you have treated that girl like burden from the moment we met, and shut her out. She isn't—."

"Don't say the name," Joel growled at her. "It ain't like that."

"Why are you protecting her?" Tess extended a finger, still holding the glass, pointed it towards the girl contently reading a comic book. "That girl is going to need a gun. This place was crawling with hunters, and I can't watch her every second. Neither can you."

Joel turned to look at her, their gazes met. "Alright. This one is on you, if one of us loses a limb, because of some goddamn kid."

Tess put her glass down, pulling a cloth from the rucksack she left on top of a barstool. "You got a cut on your face."

She poured a glass of an unlabeled bottle of alcohol they had found with the scotch, soaked the rag and applied it to the side of his eye. He let out a hiss, at the feel of stinging alcohol almost touching his eye. That hunter had done a number with his boot, giving Joel a fantastic shiner.

"Are you alright?" Joel asked.

"I'm fine," Tess replied. "I didn't almost get my face kicked in."

"Tess, you know what I meant. Being back here."

She feel silent. Dabbing the alcohol soaked rag across his closed and already swelling eye. Five seconds. Ten. Fifteen. She had to answer soon. "They started it, and I'll finish it." Her words were so determined. Like a declaration of war.

* * *

Most houses were either too out in the open, or occupied. They crept along, using cars for cover. Remaining still as statues, if they heard so much as a whisper or crackle of a oil drum fire. It was getting cold, and winter was certainly on the way. The fifth building they came to was a motel. All the doors opened easily, except for the last one. They had to go around to the alley, and climb in through the windows. Most of the furniture was used to block up the door and the other window. And the bed that was left untouched, Joel and Ellie used to block up the window they had climbed in through.

Only thing unused was a sofa and an arm chair. Ellie curled up on the armchair, reading her collection of joke books. Joel tried to sleep. He lay on the sofa, head resting on the arm. Staring at the ceiling. He knew _she_ was there. Sat on the floor, back resting against the very arm he was using for a pillow. Bandanna and all.

"Bet you're wishing we had have gone back."

Joel didn't answer. Talking to himself just proved he was going crazy. The last thing he needed was Ellie pitying him. Maybe he was crazy. Gone insane, and it took twenty two years to creep up on him and grab his mind all at once. Like his own personal form of cordyceps.

"You heard me, Joel. I'm part of your head remember."

 _"_ _Just go away, Tess…"_ Joel thought, his own inner monologue sounding just as exhausted as the rest of his body.

She was still there. Sat near him. Right until he went to sleep.

Ellie just finished volume one, when she noticed he had fallen asleep. He seemed so vulnerable. At peace with everything they had faced, even before they met. For about five minutes. His fist clenched tight, head turned to the side. His whole body stiff and tense. Over and over muttering the same name. Calling for her.

She threw her book into her backpack, hurried across the room. Grabbed Joel's beaten old rucksack. Opened it. Nothing but usual supplies. A bit of food, water bottle, ammo, a handgun she had never seen before, the picture of Joel and Sarah. The last item was a heavily crumpled piece of yellow paper, that was curling at the edges.

 _1/8_

 _8 bottles of pills_

An arrow pointed from this list item, with _Bill never sorts these bottles, gonna be up all night divvying them up…_

Ellie frowned, reading the rest of the list. A few times, it mentioned Joel by name.

She looked up to the sleeping tortured man, realizing what this was. Written by Tess. He was holding on to this. After throwing away all the other mementos of their journey, using the paper in place of firewood, he had kept this.

"Oh, Joel," she whispered, folding it over. Hid it in her own backpack. If he couldn't find it, he couldn't hold onto it.

All this time, she had carried the guilt of all who had died, and not even considered he did too. Sarah, she knew about. She should have seen it coming. After each loss, he was so adamant, that they weren't to talk about them. Shut them out. Forget. Move on. Then after Salt Lake… he opened up. Talked about the past. Opened the flood gate.

Ellie reached over, and shook him from his nightmare. "Joel, wake up!"

"Ur… Te—ELLIE! What? People?" Joel said, half awake, half in a dream of fighting off the soldiers with Tess.

"No. You were having a nightmare."

Joel rubbed his temples with his fingers. "Just… that…" He couldn't think up a lie. Constantly saying they were of Sarah belittled her memory.

"Dreaming about Tess?"

"NO!"

"Joel."

"Ellie."

"I'm serious Joel. You think I don't notice. Just admit it. You're dreaming about her. Blaming yourself." Ellie paused. Took a deep breath, realizing to herself, it was her fault Tess had died. She decided to give Joel the answers he needed to let go, even if that meant hating her. "When you should blame me."

"Ellie," he said, shaking his head. Intending to give her an explanation, but he didn't get the chance.

"Tess died, because of me and Riley. She came back. We went to that mall. I got bitten. That is it. If I hadn't have gone there, if I had let her leave, we never would have gotten bitten. I never would have gone to Marlene. She never would have gone to you. We wouldn't have gone to that museum. Tess wouldn't have gotten bitten, and she would still be alive."

"You want to play the blame game? Alright. We knew a guy named Robert. Some punk, all mouth and lacked the balls to back it up. A lowlife good for nothing, who got some guns from us, and we wanted the cards he owed us. We had plenty of chances to give up and get him another day. If we had, he might have lived long enough for one of the many people he pissed off to take him out. We wouldn't have been standing in that alley when Marlene found us. If you want to go even further back, Robert sent three guys to try to kill Tess. If he hadn't have done that, Tess wouldn't have killed him, and he might have smuggled you out and you'd both be dead. Shot when they discovered you're infected. Or if we had never given him those guns in the first place. Ellie, see how the blame goes on and on, until all is left is a bunch of regrets and bodies."

Joel was trying to convince Ellie he had let go of Tess, and failing to make either one believe it. The proof he had survivor's guilt was now hidden in Ellie's backpack, and the imaginary personification of his guilt lingered beside him. Walked with him everywhere he went. Her eyes watching him. Drilling that burning fire of guilt into his thoughts and emotions, and dreams. Forcing him to wish he had just gone home after his shift on the wall that night.

Ellie waited until he went to sleep again, went into the bathroom carrying her backpack. She slowly shut the door, slipped the straps over arm, climbed up on the sink and through the small window above. Joel needed rest, and she needed to scout the town. See what was going on.

* * *

Joel climbed onto the scaffold, looked through the slats. At least three hunters gathered on the ground. A few more on the buildings to the right, and some lurking near the bank to the left. Probably even more he couldn't see at a glance.

"What do you see, Joel?" said Tess, crouching down near him.

"A fight," Joel replied.

"Messy or quick."

"Nothing your _famous way of words_ can't fix."

Tess let out a quick laugh. "Funny." She reached for a nearby rifle. "Well, can't make it easy for them." She handed it to Joel. He already had a hunter's rifle, but having two made him look even more intimidating, with a shotgun, hunter's rifle, a pistol, and a revolver already holstered, showed he meant business. "Ready to join the party?"

"As long as I don't have to hold your arm all night," he replied.

"Guys, what do I do?" Ellie asked.

Oh, right, the girl.

"Just stay close, and keep quiet," Joel told her.

The three of them descended the scaffolding, climbed the low barricades. Tess stopped momentarily to grab a baseball bat from the ground. They walked to meet the hunters who were momentarily confused to see tourists just stroll up to them like that. Three hunters stood there in the small plaza, and were joined by three more coming from the bank.

One of the newcomers looked to Tess. "Hey, I think I know you."

"Oh, yeah," Tess replied, firing her gun at him and shooting him.

Ellie winced at the sight of such merciless close range killing.

None of the hunter men moved, sizing her up, wondering which one of them was brave enough to take them out, and who should die first.

"The man cried like a baby," another said, trying to upset her. "What his name again? Oh yeah—." Before he could even say the name, he too got a bullet gift.

A third hunter came charging at her, screaming, "You are going to pay for that, Bitch!"

The baseball collided with his face, the moment he got close enough. Tess put her foot on his chest, to make sure he wasn't going get back up. "You, I remember." One shot of her pistol decorated the pavement with his blood.

"Any else feeling brave?" Joel asked, moving the aim of the rifle from one hunter to the next.

"Give us a reason, why we shouldn't just kill you now?" said a hunter, who was obviously the leader.

"This is how this is going to play out," Tess said. "All of you are going to let us through. We are going to take whatever we want, then you are going to show us the way out. If you don't, I'm going to kill every fucking one of you. I already dropped plenty of you fuckers back in the hotel." She pointed her gun towards a man to the hunter leader's left. "And you, hand the gun over to the kid. Now."

The hunter threw his gun to the ground, Ellie dashed forward to snatch it up. She noticed someone creeping around the barricade. "TESS!"

A knife wielding hunter ran towards Tess, and instead of stabbing her in the throat like he intended, was shot a pointblank range by Joel's rifle.

"So, are you going to let us through, or do I have to kill all of you?" Tess asked.

* * *

When Joel awoke in the dark motel room, he wondered where Ellie had gone. He knocked on the bathroom door, figuring she was currently using it. No reply came. He opened it. Just a dark dirty bathroom. Ellie had gone out. He knew no one had broken in, because they would have killed him or abducted him too.

He returned to the other room, saw her backpack missing. Tess lounged on the sofa, one arm resting on the back, and one leg crossing over the other.

"She's gone," she told him.

"No kidding," he snapped. "Really, why are you here? Am I having some kind of mental break down? Is everyone who died around me going to turn up, and we all have some chat and I blow my brains out?"

Tess stood. "Maybe. Or just maybe, you can't let me go. Think on that one long and hard. All those people you cared about, you buried them. But me? Did I get a burial? Have someone weeping at my grave?"

"I never said goodbye to you, huh? Alright." He closed his eyes. "Goodbye, Tess." He opened his eyes. Nope. Still stood there in front of him.

"Doesn't work like that, Joel."

Joel slumped down onto the floor. "I can't deal with this right now."

"And turning Ellie into me won't fill the void."

Joel raise his head, and looked at the empty dark shadows about the room.


	7. Do You Remember?

I really appreciate all the feedback (and Callus suggestions), it gave me a lot to think about. All of it helpful. Not much I can say about the chapter without giving a whole lot away. AUs are gone again, but will be back. I'll finish with a thank you for reading, etc, and my playlist! 6 sections in this chapter. For **4** , _Bring Me To Life_ by _Evanescence_ , not a huge deal the lyrics, well sort of, but the music felt right. **6** , _White Flag_ by _Dido._

Also, one tiny thing, I'm changing the genres from "Adventure/Friendship" to "Adventure/Hurt/Comfort."

That's it, and enjoy.

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

 _Do You Remember?_

Expecting him to just hate her instead was a dumb move, Ellie knew it now. She walked with an empty feeling inside. Equally as empty as the very town she walked in. Perhaps she should have showed more focus on the town around her, instead of the inner conflict of the closest to a father she had ever had. People watched her from the windows. Men, women and children wondering what a girl was doing walking down the streets of their town.

She froze at the distant sound of infected. Not just one, many, were coming. She ran towards a clothing store, ducked behind a car. Quickly checked her pistol; only three bullets. Anything with more power was back at the motel room with Joel. Even if she _made her shots count_ as he told her, she still would only be able to take out three of the fuckers. There sounded like there was too many for her to try any switchblade related stealth kills.

Her only option was to run. Taking a chance, she dashed towards the clothing store. Opened the door with ease. Pushed a shelf unit over to block the door. Made her way through the racks of clothes. The inventory was a mix of leather pants, ripped vests, rhinestone jackets, distressed denim and studded leather cuffs. While she waited for the horde of infected to pass by, she remained low out of sight of the window, moving slowly and checking out the clothes. Some pieces she liked. Amongst the items she stole were three patches she intended to stitch onto her backpack, and a new pair of high tops. Her own had seen far too many winters.

Near the counter, she saw something that made her feel a touch emotional. A black and white bandana. Exactly the same one.

 _"_ _Ellie? Joel?"_

Ellie stumbled, falling flat on her ass. The voice was coming from her backpack. Shit. Joel had given her the walkie-talkie before they left Jackson, in case something happened to him. Once she was in range of the compound, she could contact someone for help.

She retrieved the black walkie-talkie from her backpack, held it to her mouth, pressed the button to talk with her finger. "Tommy? What are you—? How—?"

"Ellie? Where is Joel?"

"Safe. Resting. Where are you?"

"Outside some village. Eerie quiet. I'm guessing you're here too."

"Yeah. Tommy, I need to talk to you. It's about Joel…"

"Alright. I'll wait around. How long will it take you to get here? I'm near the town sign."

"A hoard of infected is out there, but... pretty soon, if this place has a back window."

Their conversation finished, Ellie lowered the walkie-talkie. Glanced once more at the bandana. Grabbed it, and placed it in her backpack.

* * *

Frantically he searched. Spread the contents of his rucksack across the floor. Guns, ammo, flashlight, and everything else. Lined up neat in rows. Turned the beaten old rucksack inside out. Emptied all the pockets. He didn't need it. He just wanted to look at it again. Not obsessively. Just open the yellow paper, look at the writing and put it back. His mind was so erratic, he wondered if some how he had gotten bitten and not noticed.

 _"_ _No…,"_ he thought to himself. _"This is stupid… just Ellie putting the thought in your head… the talk about T—."_ Even his own inner monologue couldn't say her name.

A lot had changed in the last two years. The giant hole Sarah had left in his heart was starting to heal. Little by little, he had learned to feel. Trust. Even love. This, all of it, was just some desperate attempt to hold onto the only thing he knew; pain.

He looked up from the ground, and met with the gaze of Tess's brown eyes. She had lowered herself to his line of sight. One hand flat on the ground, the forearm of her other arm resting on her bended knee.

"What is the plan, Joel? Search for some list I wrote ages ago? I'm dead. Something I scribbled on a page isn't going to make it all go away."

Joel turned away. "Ellie found it, and she took it."

"And if she did, what are you going to do, steal it back?"

"No. Maybe. I'll ask her for it."

"Then you will have to talk about me. See how there are flaws in your logic?"

"Then what? What is it going to take, to stop all this?"

Tess closed her eyes. Appeared to take in a deep breath. "Face your loss. You can't have it all Joel. You can't have this whole father-daughter thing with Ellie, and still be dead inside. You want to love her like you did Sarah, and have this whole daughter I never had bullshit, you got to put up with all the hurt that came with it."

* * *

Avoiding the infected was surprisingly easy. Most of them were runners, and easily outsmarted. She remained low, threw one of the many bits of litter on the ground to distract anything that came remotely close.

Tommy was waiting just outside town like he promised, his horse lingered close by drinking from a deep puddle on the ground. He was already concerned for his brother, when he saw Ellie run towards him.

 _Had she discovered the truth about Salt Lake?_

 _Had he accidently called her Sarah?_

Both of these questions ran through his mind with a whole host of other questions. Instead of making matters worse, he waited while she caught her breath. Ellie glanced around for Maria, and realized she wasn't there.

"What is it, Ellie?" Tommy asked, leaning his back against a nearby tree.

"How did Joel deal with Sarah's death?" said Ellie, getting straight to the point. "He's having nightmares, calling out for someone. Staring off into space. I know it isn't about Sarah, because he doesn't touch the watch."

"He met a woman named Tess," Tommy replied.

 _Oh, fuck,_ Ellie thought. The look on her face gave away her thoughts. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We just got into Boston. I met Marlene, and you know what happened there. Joel changed completely. This Tess woman, she was just as broken as him. Somehow they worked well together. He just shut down. Sarah's name never got mentioned again, and Joel closed himself off."

"Oh… so there is no hope."

"Didn't say that. It is much easier to break a wall down after it is built."

"What happened, after _it_ happened?"

Tommy lowered his head, looking at the ground. "A whole heap of pain."

* * *

 **September, 2013, Twenty Two years ago, outskirts of Austen, Texas…**

Rain fell over him, a broken man. Defeated and shattered. She was gone. Ripped away from him. Limp in his arms. Her blood staining his shirt. Tears pouring from his eyes. Not now… Many times, he begged her to come back. Just wake up. All of this be some cruel nightmare. Even the hand of his brother on his shoulder wasn't enough to bring him back. Not from this. There was no coming back.

He couldn't stand to put her down. In the late of the night, stumbling through the dark. All those things could come at him, and he wouldn't care. Better to rip him to pieces, than to live in a world she was no longer a part of. His brother followed him, calling his name, but he didn't hear. He refused to stop, until he reached a park where she once played. Under a tree she once made him sit under, while she showed him some soccer tricks, like keep ups. Made him endure her reading out those stupid Dawn of the Wolf books.

Laid her body at the roots. His face was ghostly white—he was a ghost. A lingering empty soul of his former self. Gone, just waiting for his body to catch up. Searched for pieces of wood. His brother seemed to understand, running back to a upturned truck a while back, that was rammed right off the road. It was a hardware delivery truck, and it would contain the tools they needed. Through what was left of the night, the two brothers built a coffin. Laid her body within it, and put her final resting place into the ground. There was no need for a tombstone. Using a knife from the tools his brother had collected, he carved her name into the bark of the tree;

 _Sarah_

 _Wait for me, Baby Girl._

He couldn't bear to carve any more. He wept until his tears dried up, and his throat burned. As dawn broke in the distance, his heart had a wall around it. Everything used to be was gone. Nothing could shine a light in the dark and empty void of his heart.

* * *

Tears fell from Ellie's eyes, and she didn't bother wipe them away. "Joel…" was all she could bring herself to say.

Tommy reached out and touched her arm. "Ellie, if he is in mourning, that is the only way. To force him to shut down, and he will hate you for it."

"No," said Ellie, shaking her head. "I can't do that to him, and it isn't the only way. Joel always says, we have to find something to fight for. We'll start with this town. Keep finding stuff to fight against, until he is too busy fighting to think."

Turning to Tommy was a mistake. It had opened a lot of old wounds, reminded himself of the worst night of his life. Burdened Ellie with knowing the pain. She parted with him once more, making sure he planned to keep away from this village. Her mind playing the image of Joel crying at Sarah's grave over and over. All the way to the motel. She climbed in through the small window, washed her face, closed the lid of toilet down, and sat there. Thinking. Wondering what she would say, what she would do.

After ten minutes of silence, she knew what she would do. Removing her backpack, she entered the main room of their little safe house. Joel was sat on the couch, his head in his hands, rucksack at his feet.

"Joel?" Ellie said.

He looked up at her. "Hey, Ellie. Find anything out there?"

"Infected, but nothing we need to focus on right away." She sat down at the other end of the sofa. "Joel, I want to show you something. A few things I've kept."

She showed him Riley's firefly tag, and told him of what happened when they were in the mall together. Then the letter her mother wrote when she was a baby. Lastly Sam's robot. Returned each one to her backpack once he was done looking at it. He didn't know what she was getting at—or he didn't want to see it—but he humored her. Letting her show him them, and explaining how much they meant to her. Even now, after so much time had passed since she saw each of them.

"I can't forget them. Talking about them helps. Maria helped me get over it. We would just sit down, and talk about the good moments. I don't have any with Mom, but Riley and Sam…"

"Ellie, what is this?"

"Look, Joel, you can shut me out all you want. I know you have something lingering about Tess, and I want to help."

"This is not the same. I'm not holding onto something of hers."

"Not now, because I stole it." Ellie retrieved the list and slapped it down on his hand.

"Ellie," he said, angrily.

"Don't "Ellie" me. I want to talk about Tess. So we are going to fucking talk about her!"

He knew he wasn't going to win. He gave in to this one request. "Alright. One conversation about Tess. Right here. Right now. Then you get off my back. Deal?"

"Okay," Ellie said, nodding. "How did the two of you meet?"

"I thought this apartment was empty—the one I took you to. Walked in through the door. She hits me over the head with something. Knocks me clean out."

"No way," said Ellie, unable to hide a smile.

"She always swore it was a can of potatoes, but I thought it was t-bone steak or something, 'cause all I could smell was meat for two days afterwards until I got caught out in the rain."

"That was it? How you met?"

"Nah, not exactly. I woke up, tied to a chair, Tess holding a knife to my throat. She asks "Make it quick, tell me why the fuck you're walking in my apartment, before I slit your throat." I reply, "Thought the place was empty." That is it."

"Just like that, she let you go?"

"I dunno. I can't remember. This was seventeen years ago." He moved to the edge of the sofa cushion. "That it? We done talking."

"No, I got something for you. You know how you have the watch Sarah gave you?" She reached into her backpack, catching the cloth of the bandana between two fingers. "While was out, I found…"

Joel glanced at her, raising his eyebrow.

"Okay, stole… this!" She presented him with the bandana. "It is just like the one Tess wore, right?"

Joel turned the black and white thin cloth over in his hands. Yes it was. He practically threw it at her, stood up abruptly. "We're done talking about this." Walked into the bathroom, and stayed in there for half hour.

Ellie liked to think she was doing good, but really she had hurt him more.

* * *

Ellie climbed up through the window first. They had packed up everything, arranged who would carry what weapons. Joel had chosen to carry the flamethrower and a hunter's rifle, while Ellie favored the bow and a shotgun. She waited out in the alley. Joel took his time. His back turned to the window. Rolled up his sleeve just enough to come to rest half an inch above the broken watch. The bandana peeked out from under his sleeve. Wrapped around his forearm, tight and securely.

Joel rolled his sleeve down, and followed out the window. "How far 'till you come across the horde?"

"Not far," Ellie replied, walking down the alley.

He looked back at the small window and followed her.

 **Spring 2018, Seventeen Years ago, Boston QZ…**

Joel walked down the musty empty hallway. No one he knew lived on this floor. He figured the problem with Tommy was because they were practically living on top of each other. One brother had to move out, and it might as well be him. Fireflies were always coming in and out all hours of the fucking night, and it was driving him crazy. All the doors were locked off, with those military issue quarantine locks. Except, the last one.

He looked out the window. Not bad. Nice location. No one around to bug him. He opened the door, looked inside. Furnished. Would save him the inconvenience of raiding other apartments, or having to sleep on the floor. He pushed the door open and walked in. A woman in the shadows clubbed him over the head with either a can of potatoes or a t-bone steak—who really remembers? They could have both forgotten.

His head felt like it was going to split open. Unable to move. His arms tied behind his back, his ankles to the leg of the chair. Joel wasn't going anywhere. A woman sat on his lap, legs around him. He could feel the leather of her pants under his fingers. A knife up against his throat. Her other hand had a tight hold on his hair—making the splitting pain worse. Brown eyes glaring into him with the wrath of fire.

"Make it quick, tell me why the fuck you're walking in my apartment, before I slit your throat," Tess told him. There was no anger in her voice. She said it in the same way someone might ask for the time, or what the weather was like.

Joel shrugged, and admitted "Thought the place was empty."

He already knew she wasn't someone to mess with.

"Now you know," she said, tilting her head to the side.

He didn't quite know why he said it, but on the brink of death, he found himself thinking about that god awful movie Sarah dragged him to. Better to go out on a joke. "My life is in your grasp, my lady, as long as the moon shines on us."

She hesitated. Fuck. She was going to slit his throat.

Tess laughed. "That movie was god awful." She dismounted his lap, letting go of his hair. "Don't tell me you liked that shit."

"God no," Joel replied. _Was she actually going to let him live?_ "Longest two hours of my life." Well, there had been longer but he refused to let himself remember it.

She cut the bindings at his ankles, and around his wrists. Walked into the kitchen, stabbed the knife into the counter. "You drink scotch? I think I got a bottle in here somewhere."

"Yeah," he replied, rubbing his wrists.

"This place is always a mess after a shipment, until I can sell it. The smugglers are useless. Had to kill a couple last week. They drew in too much military heat." Tess came back from the kitchen, with two glasses of scotch. "Got a name?"

"Joel." Taking a glass from her.

"Tess. So, Joel, you any good at moving cargo?"

Joel shrugged. "Got to be easier than ambushes."


	8. Real or Trick?

A lot going on in this chapter, and no AUs again. From this point, I'm going to stop fore-warning if the AUs are there or not, that is for you to figure out for yourself! Not much I can say about this chapter, without giving anything away.

So, my usual thank yous, to everyone reading. Glad to know the sad part of the last chapter (y'all know which one!) didn't put you off. Even I got a tad teary with that one.

Enjoy this chapter!

(P.S. When you see it, you'll know... I'd love to see your theories! I'll be taking a couple of days break from writing, so you have the whole weekend to let me know what you think.)

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

 _Real or Trick?_

Coming to the end of the alley, they saw no infected. Or people. Nothing. Not even a single person lurking in the windows. Joel listened, but all he heard was a fierce wind. Winter was certainly on the way.

"Where are these infected, Ellie?" Joel whispered.

"Not here. I was further down, near the clothes store. I didn't make a noise or anything. I just heard them, then they just appeared."

"Sounds familiar." Neither Joel or Ellie had spoke those words. Joel looked over his shoulder at the apparition of his torment.

"Joel?" Ellie asked, wondering why he was staring at a drainpipe, practically enthralled as if it were talking to him. "I could take you to the store, if you want?"

"Yeah, do that. Might be a good place to start." He heard her words, answered, but didn't really take the words in. As if she was so far away, and he just barely heard her.

Taking the lead, they moved slowly but stealthily through the streets, towards the clothing store. Stood right in the middle of the road, while Ellie told him exactly where she was standing, and how long she was inside the store. He scanned the area. Nothing but stores. A dinner, clock shop, hairdressers, and a few stores where the sign had fallen off and not put back in. Whatever used to be on the shelves was long gone. Joel stood himself exactly where Ellie insisted she was standing the day before.

"You were here," said Joel.

Ellie nodded. "Right. I was just thinking. Walking along. Stopped right there, and I heard that noise. You know the one, when we left Boston. And it sounded far away…"

"I remember," Joel cut in. "From what direction?"

Ellie stood beside him, facing down the street. Closed her eyes. Concentrated hard. Tried to remember everything, from that empty uneasy feeling, then the sound… she raised her arm, as if it were some kind of indicater, her finger an imaginary spotlight, seeking it. Moving to her left, stopping in the direction of where the road curved off.

"I'm not crazy, I really did hear it, Joel. I couldn't fight them because I only had three bullets."

"I know, Ellie. I know. Something ain't right about this place, and we'll figure it out, together."

He moved to the end of the street, looked around the corner, nothing. In the distance where Ellie had pointed, was a building larger than the others. Perhaps it was a church once, or some kind of warehouse. Whatever it used to be, it didn't look like that now. The deeper they got into the village, more and more buildings had a devastated distressed look, as if great chunks were just ripped out of it, leaving the rest of the building shell intact. A ruckus was coming from the large mismatched jigsaw building. Not fighting. Cheering and song. Rowdy, as if liquor was involved. Joel dashed towards a building opposite to it. It was a large auto repair garage, with an apartment above and a large parapet like balcony out front where they could hide. He quickly climbed the drain pipe, waited for Ellie to follow. They hid behind the low wall, waiting.

* * *

Two hours passed by, and still no sign of the party dying down in the building. During that time, Ellie had told him all about Savage Starlight, in excruciating detail, right down to acting some of the scenes out, but whispering all the lines. After that, she told him about this kid that tried picking on her back in the military school, and how Riley made sure he'd never try it again.

The whole time, he started to find it strange how much noise there was, and no sign of a clicker or runner insight.

"Wait, Ellie… listen…" Joel strained his own ears, whenever the singing and occasional bursts of music died down.

"I don't hear anything."

"Exactly. You said, they came when you didn't even make a sound. These are making enough noise to alert every infected in the country, and nothing."

"I walked into some kind of trap?" she commented, doubtfully.

"I think so. If these are the same people as the factory, using infected as weapons is something they'd do."

"Their infected would be hidden somewhere around here," said Ellie, standing. "And need some kind of noise to make them charge somewhere. Flood out into the streets, and somehow heard them back. Why put so much effort into that, when they could just as easily escape the town."

"A noise to make them charge…"

Joel looked at Ellie. Ellie looked back at Joel. They knew exactly what could have made that noise. They had heard it many times before. From Boston, Lincoln, Pittsburgh… even Colorado.

"No," Ellie said, not believing what they were both suggesting.

"Yes," Joel replied, nodding. "Right under us." Joel stood, approached the dirty window, wiped it with his sleeve—the right arm.

Ellie thought that to be strange. He was never sleeve specific, when having to wipe something away. As long as it didn't further damage his watch, he couldn't give a shit what happened to his clothes. The glass clear enough, he looked inside. There was a rather complicated gears and pulley system, that he couldn't even begin to comprehend. Whoever built it had obviously spent a lot of time into building it.

"Is there anything?" Ellie asked.

"I'm guessing what opens that door down below. Can't see where it connects. No holes in the floor."

"To stop spores coming up?"

"Might be. Opening the garage doors would do that for them." Joel moved away from the window. "I'll figure this out. How about you sneak over there, have a look around. See what we're dealing with. Make sure there are no children in there. They don't deserve this."

Ellie nodded.

 _She_ sat on the low wall, watching the hall. Her brown hair rippling in the wind. Not even feeling the cold, despite the fact she was wearing a vest in the middle of November. The bullet holes probably didn't help.

"And Te—tell me everything when you come back." Joel turned away to avoid Ellie's gaze. He had almost given a command to Tess. Now he was going insane, he knew it.

"Alright," Ellie said, climbing over the low wall and down the drain pipe.

He waited another five minutes or so, assuming Ellie was gone by now. "Don't say anything," he told the ghost he couldn't seem to shake.

"Wouldn't make any difference if I did. About to kill a hall full of innocents. And people said I didn't give a fuck about human life."

"They're not innocent. You saw the factory." Joel tried opening the window, it slid open easily enough.

"Did I?" Tess asked.

"If you are some hallucination of mine, and part of my head, you saw exactly what I saw."

"You're finally catching on."

He didn't dare climb in, on the off-chance the floor caved in under him. On the other side on re-enforced floor was a pile of chains coiled high, and a big hook that had to have come off a pickup truck. The kind that dragged cars off the road, and took them to a garage. Now he had to risk it.

"Keep watch, will you," Joel said.

"Wouldn't make much difference if I did."

"I liked you more before these little chats."

"Same to you, Texas."

Joel climbed in through the window, slid it shut again. Crouched down, and touched the floorboards around the reinforced square panel. Firm. Not even a crack under his hand. He stood, pressing his foot down. Nothing. As if the ground were concrete. Tess walked by him, looking around the room. "Reminds me of our old storage room. Remember. Bill got us a good haul of liquor…"

"You were hungover and crabby for days after that," Joel replied, smiling.

"Just me?"

"Alright, we both were a little crabby."

Tess leaned her back against the wall, looking to the engine. "We didn't drink the merchandise after that. At least, not that much."

Joel looked to her. The room was like their old storage room. He could still picture it. A dingy hole in the ground, cluttered from floor to rafters with boxes or generators. Anything low worth left out in the room, but the good stuff… He approached Tess.

"Don't be thinking this will be exactly like last time," Tess said.

"No… the storage room." He reached out to touch the wall. She faded away, appearing just in the very corner of his line of vision.

Joel pushed the hidden door open, and found the generator that powered the whole gear and pulley rigging.

* * *

Ellie peeked in through the window. She saw a lot of people cheering and waving around pint glasses and beer tankards. Kegs and caskets of something—probably more liquor towered higher than the crowd along the far wall. Cages suspended amongst the rafters, they were too small for an adult, and too big for an animal cage. Something moved in them, that made Ellie feel so sick, she had to dash over to the nearest trash can and vomit.

"Sick fuckers…" Ellie muttered, after depositing her last food rations into the oversized tin can.

She had to get a closer look. Making her way around the building. She found a high small window, that had to lead to either a bathroom or a kitchen.

Walking in there armed wasn't an option. She wished she had left her backpack with Joel. Slipping her backpack off, she placed it into an empty trash can. Armed herself only with her trusty switchblade, and her pistol. Both could be hidden and out of sight. Ellie climbed in through the window. Over the noise, she could hear someone giving a speech. Then she realized, they weren't just cheering, they were agreeing to the man talking.

 _"_ _For too long, those things have ravaged our town. Took our people for their own. Good, strong people. No more! Here we stand today; ready to take back our world by force!"_ This was met by much cheer and applaud, but not as much as she had expected. From the other window, the place was practically standing room only.

She opened the door cautiously, and dived behind a pile of boxes. Men and women were being dragged from the crowd, by men wearing the sigil from the factory. If they had children with them, the child was snatched away. If it was under the age of five, given back to the parents, and they were thrown out into the streets. Any child older was taken to a roped off pen, and left there until a cage was lowered. Herded like cattle.

 _"_ _Every one of you saw that infected child. Bitten, but not turned. If it happened once, it could happen again!"_

These words stirred something in the people. Some were holding up their children, and offering them to be sacrificed to this cause. Ellie couldn't stand it anymore. She snuck out, and had to tell Joel.

* * *

Joel pulled the chain out onto the balcony. Once again, Tess was sat atop the lower wall, looking down at the street below. He ducked, seeing families being forced out with young children. All of them ran as fast as they could, desperate to get away, hiding in stores, buildings, anywhere they could be safe.

"Oh, Ellie… what the fuck have I sent you into?" Joel whispered.

"Ellie will be fine. She is a strong girl," Tess reassured.

"What would you know? You died, before she had to become like us," Joel informed her.

Slightly amused, Tess muttered, "Getting snappy with me, Joel?"

"Just… no. I don't want to do that thing. Just, whatever that is in my head wanting that thing we had going on… it has to stop. Now."

"Simple. Stop thinking about me."

"I can't," he admitted.

The streets were silent again. Joel threw the hook over, slowly fed the chain down after it, until it touched the ground. He noticed Ellie running towards the garage, her face paler than fresh snow.

"Ellie, hook that to the shutters, if you can," Joel said. Luckily there was some pretty loud cheering in the building as he said that.

Ellie still heard him. She slipped the hook around a handle on the shutters. Climbed up the drain pipe. She paced, babbling so much, she could hardly get her words out. Sometimes saying the wrong word, and having to go back and correct herself.

Framing her face with his hands, Joel looked her in the eyes. "Ellie… whatever it is, you can tell me. What did you see?"

"Joel, they are collecting children!"

"What?" he asked, taken back.

"They saw that girl we saw. The girl with the infected bite. They think it can happen again. They have children in cages, like in the factory. I think they are going to set the infected on them. Hoping that some of the kids are immune like me."

Joel pulled his hands away from her face, holding them over his mouth. Now Joel felt like he could be physically sick. "Hunters. Cannibals. Now children sacrifices…"

"Those people they turned out, their children weren't old enough."

"Everyone in there still?"

"People who support the cause."

"The children?"

"In cages, or roped off in pens."

"Where are the cages?"

"Suspended from the ceiling."

"Do you have the walkie-talkie I gave you?"

"I do. Joel, what are you thinking?"

"Sneak back over there one last time. Open the doors. Listen. Once all the children are up in the cages, run like hell. Get out of town, as far as you can. Tommy or Maria must be in the area still. Tell them everything you saw. Leave the rest to me."

"And just leave you?"

"You have to. I will deal with the infected, and get the children out."

"What if I don't want to leave? Two guns are better than one. I can come back here, we can shoot whoever gets out. I can help."

Joel looked past Ellie to the apparition of Tess. She—okay, his thoughts—was right. Ellie is a strong girl.

The choice was made for them. Someone left the doors open, and the words of their leader came gusting out like a fierce wind.

 _"_ _Ready for a new day to begin?"_

The end of the speech was concluded with the whole crowd chanting, _"Raise the cages!"_

More words spoken, confirming all the children were raised into cages, and all of them entirely covered. This was their chance. Joel told Ellie to get into the apartment, and start the generator. She obliged him. The machine rumbled to life, and the noise was drowned out by the roar of cheers. The shutters screeched upwards. A dozen runners charged out, heading towards the open doors across the street. Roaring cheers became screams, as more and more infected flooded in.

"Good plan," Tess commented. "Except for all the kids who have to hear all those people die."

"Can't be worse than having their own parents sacrifice them to be torn apart," Joel replied.

"Joel?" Ellie said, from the window.

"Good job, kid," Joel told her.

"Who were you talking to?"

Joel blinked. "You, Ellie."

Ellie looked at him doubtfully, but just shrugged it off. He was lying, but she didn't want to call him out on it. They looked down to the streets, to see a woman with her hood pulled up, run towards the door, and shut it. Pulling the heavy leaver lock down. Locking them all inside. She held a bow, her backpack had eight arrows peeking out the top. She turned her head, just missing seeing them—Joel and Ellie had ducked just in time to avoid her gaze. She had a pistol holster dangling from her belt.

She ran towards a nearby convenience store, and came out on the roof, brandishing a hunter's rifle, pointing it in through the window of the large mix-match building. Fired a few shots, and waited.

Ellie decided to take a chance and climbed down. The woman didn't seem to care that she was there; her shots were saved for in the building. Joel followed after her, going around the building to the window Ellie had found earlier.

Arming themselves with their most powerful weapons, the adoptive father and daughter pair climbed in through the window, preparing themselves for the worst, and that came in handy. Ellie had to blast one runner right away with her shotgun. They emerged from the door. A couple of runners had being killed, where the sickos had given up a fight. Now the room cleared, there were many trapdoors scattered across the floor, where most of the gathering had fled through. There were at least twenty at a glance of dead humans. The runners had heard the crying of the children, and were trying to climb up to get them. On top of boxes, ladders that the sick fuckers had put up to get to the cages. As soon as the runners got even the slightest bit close, a bullet from the nearby convenience store roof shot them back down.

Ellie and Joel added their own bullets to the fray. Shooting and moving. Occasionally having to go hand to hand combat fighting off anything that got too close for comfort. When the last runner fell, the doors opened. Joel reached for Ellie's arm, pulling her close to him. The hooded woman walked into the room, stepped over the bodies. Making her way to the stage. Looking up at the cages.

"Who are you?" Ellie called out, before Joel could stop her.

The woman turned her head, as if glancing over her shoulder. Her face was covered by a gasmask. They could just barely see her eyes. The mask muffled her voice, but they felt like they knew it.

"Does it really matter?" she replied. "Once they are free, then we can talk."

Either Joel really did see it, or he just wanted to, he thought he saw brown hair peeking out of her hood.


	9. Can I Look Back?

Thanks for reading, and everything guys. Sorry about the cliffhanger back there, but it had to be done... I'll try not to end on cliffhangers in the future. Tess being alive for real seems to be a popular choice for who you think the mysterious woman is. Keep in mind guys, if it was Tess, my story would come to an abrupt end. If she lived for real, there would be no mystery to how it could have gone.

Because I am so super happy and surprised by how much attention this story has gotten, I'm going to make my own gift to you. If you want to that is; suggest something that Joel and Ellie might stumble across in the little exploration. (You'll know when you get there.) I only have one request, not those monkeys they found in the game, writing what they are a product of goes against something I believe strongly about. Other than that, have fun. It won't be anything massively plot driving. Just something small, like an artifact or something, or something of that level of importance.

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 _Can I Look Back?_

Bed for the night was a bunch of sofa cushions laid on a ratty old carpet, that showed more floorboard than the bottle green carpet. Joel hadn't uttered a single word since they left that village. Not one. The same sentence swam around in his head, with the image of her pleading brown eyes, on the verge of tears.

 _"_ _Make this easy for me."_

It weren't easy.

Painful. Soul shatteringly agonizing. Fifteen years, and that is how it had to end.

The way he lay, staring at his forearm, he wanted to roll his sleeve up and look at the bandana again. He couldn't. Even if Ellie wasn't on the other side of the room reading a book by flashlight. Remembering her again… the pain was too much. He thought he could handle it. Forget, move on, stop looking back, all that stuff he told Ellie time and time again.

Joel rolled onto his back, staring at the lovely brown damp patch claiming most of the ceiling. Nothing ever was easy. All or nothing.

"Joel?" Ellie said, in a quiet voice as if she hoped he was asleep.

"I'm awake," he told her.

Ellie put the book away in her backpack, deciding she would read it later. The book had all the makings of a tragic romance, and she had certainly known one of those in her sixteen years. Pulled her knees up under her chin, wrapped her arms around them. "I wanted that woman to be Tess."

"I did, too," Joel admitted.

Back there, in that church or warehouse—whatever it was—everything was bit of a blur. They spent so much time finding the controls, lowered each cage. Dragged all the bodies to trapped doors, and threw them down there. The kids didn't have to see that. One by one, pulled all the covers off the cages, let the kids out. All of them were afraid, but glad to be free again. They were taken outside. Most of the families who never wanted to let go of their children had come back, and agreed to take in the orphaned ones.

All children safe, and the survivors wanting to go to Jackson, the woman lowered her hood. Her hair was brown, but she wasn't _her_. Pulled off her mask, and looked at them. Joel knew her. Someone from their smugglers crew. He barely crossed paths with her during the sixteen years he called Boston "home." She knew him by name. He vaguely remembered talking to her near a checkpoint during his last day in the quarantine zone.

What proceeded the walk to the outskirts was a blur. He was there, but he was forgetting it while it happened.

They exchanged pleasantries. She asked after Tess. The look on his and Ellie's face told her more than their words did. The woman—whose name Joel kept forgetting, promised to get all the refugees to the compound.

* * *

The shutters rattled loudly as they were heaved up, held by hunters that were just too obliging. All three of them allowed to just walk away from the plaza like that. Something wasn't right. Tess watched as they were shut. Waited while Joel pushed a cart, to allow them to climb over an air conditioner.

"Tess," Joel called to her, snapping her out of her suspicious trance.

She followed after them, ignoring all around her, until they reached the window. The three of them forced to stay low and watch, as a man and woman was shot down in the street, picked at by hunters like vultures over an animal carcass. Having found nothing, the hunters climbed back into their humvee and sped off.

"Oh, shit…" Ellie muttered. Everything she had seen up until now was pretty terrible, but that was somehow far worse. "At least Boston wasn't like this."

"Not far off it, kid," Tess replied.

Thudding behind them caught their attention, as the shutters screeched upwards. Tess uttered a "fuck" under breath. Hunters voice flooded in, yelling to one another about a "she" who "mustn't have gotten far." Joel retreated to the door, pulling Ellie with him. Tess was all ready to stand her ground, and fight them off. She didn't have much ammo, but enough to put up a pretty good fight.

"Tess," Joel growled. "You can't hold them off."

"Then I'll try. Joel, go. Get the girl out here."

Joel pulled out a gun. "No. We ain't splitting up, unless we have to."

"Tess?" said Ellie. "We can get away."

Tess looked to Ellie, then to Joel. They had been through a lot together, and she was prepared to die, if it meant buying them time. She couldn't do it—give in or turn to fight. Joel made the choice for her. He tossed his gun to Ellie, grabbed hold of Tess's wrist, pulling her into the stairwell. He only let go of her when they were halfway up, and took his gun back from the kid. They came out the door, and found two hunters strolling along, talking.

* * *

WINTER

* * *

Colorado of all fucking places. Just like a year ago, they found themselves heading towards the home of the Bighorns, University of Eastern Colorado. Ellie had made the decision to come back here. Her reasoning was, they might have missed something in all that medical mumbo-jumbo. If not a cure, but at least a way to stop the spores or the disturbing looking flowers that burst from the cordyceps riddled infected. Joel was in the mindset that coming back here was a huge mistake. So close to the very place that had changed them both so irrevocably.

The last time they were here, Joel had educated her on the way of life that is football. This time around, Ellie talked about a book she had found their last house of lodgings. It was some old book—old by even pre-cordyceps times—set in England, where there were these creepy old moors, and pretty much everyone died. Didn't help him. They lived in a world that pretty much was a never ending moor, where everyone dies.

They entered the campus, and immediately knew something wasn't right. Everything looked pretty much the same, except under a blanket of snow. And, that blanket was just too "rumpled." Footsteps going in every direction. Not old ones. Some of them were pretty fresh. No snow had fallen on them yet.

Joel turned around, walking back towards the gates. "Ellie, we're leaving. Don't argue me on this."

"But Joel…" Ellie protested.

"No! We shouldn't have come. We can get away from this place, go up the mountain, to that forest where you hunted food. Find some little cabin somewhere, and wait out the winter." He stopped in his tracks, turned to face her. "Better yet, get as far away from here as possible. This is a stupid idea. We turn back."

"Then what, Joel?" Ellie asked. "This is the only place we know they did research. They gave the cordyceps to monkeys for fuck sake. Even if they can't find a cure, there has to be something to tell us how to destroy it for good. Just this one thing, then we can get a car. There has to be some parts in that garage under the shooters nest. Then we go where ever."

"Ellie, why are you so focused on this? Infected are everywhere. Eventually we will find a way to end them. Do what we have always done. Endure and survive. Learn as we go along. Why come here, and get the answers handed to us?"

"Because you're in pain, Joel," Ellie practically screamed at him. "I talked to Tommy. Before I came back to you. He told me the only way to help you get over someone is to let you reach breaking point, and build up your wall."

Joel looked livid. His body tense, and his fists clenched.

She could turn to Tommy and play therapist, but she couldn't come out and talk to him without it turning into a screaming match.

"Oh, yeah, Tommy would say something like that. That man never did a hard days' work in his life, and all of a sudden he is Mr. Boss. Strutting around like a peacock, now he's got something he can't run away from. Do tell, what did you talk about, when Tommy gave you that snippet of information?"

Ellie pulled off her backpack, and dropped it to the ground. "He told me about Sarah. What happened the night she died. How you said goodbye to her. I can't give you that. Not with Tess. Whatever the cordyceps did to her, she probably isn't Tess anymore."

"Why now? Why are you even thinking about this?"

"BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING!" Her voice echoed around the car park. "About you, when I thought you lied. Trying to help you get over Tess. Even Marlene." The corners of her eyes moistened with tears. Ellie pulled the little cassette player and recorder she had listened to in the car ride near Jackson. "Remember this? Why I didn't want you to hear it? Well, it wasn't music."

* * *

A gun battle ensued. Joel and Tess covering the door. Ellie had gone down the corridor to thin the herd if too many hunters came at them at once. The two hunters were easily disposed of. Joel and Tess flanked either side of the door. Tess had her gun ready, raised and prepared to take out the first hunter to come after her. They had shut the door, to create a little bit of a sound trap when the assholes came up to play.

"Ready? We could still slip away," Joel whispered.

"Run from a fight with assholes trying to kill me?" Tess looked to him, teasingly. "It is like you don't know me at all, Texas."

Joel let out a laugh.

The door to the stairwell burst open, kicked off its hinges, and the first one out was met with a bullet—one killshot to the heart, another to the brain. Double tap. Had they not told Ellie to keep quiet no matter what, she would have screamed a _"Holy fuck, you guys?!"_ Between the two of them, they made it between four magazines of ammo. At least, until all the bodies had piled up, and the assholes stopped coming to meet them.

"Here," Joel said, pulling a medi-kit from his rucksack.

Tess glanced at her arm. Nothing to worry about. She wasn't as quick getting out the way, and the bullet had just nicked her shoulder is all. "It's nothing. Assholes just got lucky. No need to worry."

Joel didn't put the kit away, staring right back at her. He had faced less, and she was insistent that he patch himself up.

"Alright, I'll dab a little something on it, if that will put your mind at ease," said Tess, surrendering.

While Ellie and Joel collected unused ammo from the guns the hunters had dropped, Tess dabbed alcohol on the cut on her shoulder, used a little medical tape to attach a little square piece of bandage over it, just in case a spore got into it. That would be just her luck to get infected after all this.

* * *

A big block of cold ice had to have coated his heart, because that was what it felt like. Everything moving in slow motion. Whatever was on that tape, it couldn't be good. She had kept it from him, and if he hadn't have challenged her, she might not ever have let him listen to it.

"This from Riley," Ellie said, hitting play.

 _"_ _Girl, your music sucks. I'm doing you a favor in recording over some of it. I don't have much time, before we are leaving. Ellie, I never wanted to leave you. You have to understand that. All of this… well, let's just say, don't rush into something if you don't plan to see it through to the end. Marlene is making me leave. I'm going to some place in Salt Lake. Whatever you do, don't trust her. Don't make my mistake. Her concern, her promises… all of it. It means nothing compared to her cause, and she doesn't care who gets killed along the way. She is a liar, Ellie. Remember that. A liar. If she cared about you even one bit, why did she leave you to grow up in a prep school? Where was she for your whole life? Following some stupid dream, that might never come true. I'm not allowed to see you again. I will miss you. Why did we have to wait so long to meet?"_

Joel stayed quiet. Unable to say anything. What could he say? Riley, without knowing at the time had given him an out. If he told her what happened in Salt Lake, she would understand. Unburden himself. Two people she cared for deeply telling her the same thing about Marlene.

The recording came to an end. "This, Joel, is why I have to work so hard. If my cassette player wasn't broke, I would have listen to this while we waited to turn. Let my music be the last thing I listened to. Riley would have let me hear this—NO, she wanted me to hear this. Or maybe I would have heard it before she came back to me. You say the blame could be anyone, and be some big blame game, but all the people I cared about died just because I trusted Marlene. Because I didn't hear this fucking tape in time, and went to her for help. And that, Joel is why you are in so much pain right now. Why I can't fix it, and we have to fight so many infected, and whoever wants to pick a fight with us, until you can't even think about her anymore." Ellie felt so angry, that she was shaking. Her knuckles were going white, as she gripped the casing of the cassette player. If that tape wasn't her last connection to Riley, she probably would have smashed the damn thing on the floor.

Joel placed his hands on her shoulders, and pulled her close. Let her feel all the anger and hate, until she gave into the tears. No, now wasn't the time. Joel couldn't know at that time, the truth would come out. Eventually. He couldn't let her feel more pain than she was already carrying. Joel grabbed her backpack—this she insisted on holding herself, and the cassette player. He carried her towards the garage under the shooter's nest. Only when they were inside, she felt able to stand on her own feet, and even then she sat down on the floor. Joel pulled the shutters down, closed out the cold and the world. She huddled over, as if freezing cold.

Joel sat opposite her. Pulled off one of her gloves. "Sarah suffered terribly with the cold. As a baby, I had to wrap her up like caterpillar in a cocoon, before I could even get her out the door." He held her hand flat, sandwiched between his own, and rubbed them quickly to create a heat friction. "There, now cup that against your gloved hand, and blow hot air on it."

Ellie obliged him. It worked. "Hey! That works! Is that why people always rub their hands together and blow on them?" She took the glove off her other hand, and let him do the same with that one.

"It is." Joel replied, as Ellie put her gloves on. "Also works if you breath the hot air right into your gloves. Like your own little hand warmer." He reached over and pulled the hood of her coat up over her head. "Keep your head warm."

"Why? I'm alright."

"Keep your head, hands and feet warm, and the rest of you will be alright."

"Did you say that to Sarah?"

Joel nodded. "She never did listen."

"Joel, about the tape…"

"You had to get it off your chest, I get that. Ellie, you can tell me anything, you know that. Even if I don't want to hear it at the time."

"Was Riley telling the truth? Was Marlene not to be trusted?"

"I always thought so. Tess was the one that kept that window open. Thought it would be good to keep a connection to the fireflies, and sell guns to them real quick. If we were desperate to offload them."

Ellie lowered her head. "How did I miss it? If there wasn't people like me, I wonder what Marlene and the fireflies would have done."

"I imagine kill you, cut out your brain or drain your blood, make a vaccine that could fail completely, and just add you up as one of the many failed attempts to give people false hope."

"Is that what happens with vaccines?"

"Some work. Some people get the disease anyway. Some don't get it in time. Some are allergic." Joel shrugged. "Changes from person to person. All leads down to having enough."

"So people like me, and that little girl we saw… we could have died for nothing?"

Joel nodded. "Yeah. Before you've lived. Filling your head with promises and lies, not caring you'll be dead before the truth comes out. Ellie, why are you talking like this? You know there are other people like you. We do our job right, and there won't be any infected anymore."

Ellie took a deep breath, and shook her head as if her bangs were swatting away some unwanted thoughts. "I don't know. I just want to make sense of all this. The two people I should have listen to; I didn't, and created a big fucking mess."

"Some people don't give you a choice, whether to listen to them or not."

Ellie held his hand between hers. "Joel, did you keep that bandana I gave you?"

Joel pulled his hand away, resting it on the forearm said bandana was wrapped around—he was sure glad it was winter, and he had a good reason for a long sleeved coat and layers. "No. Think I left it back in that motel."

"Shame. I could have wrapped it around that cassette tape. We could have kept them together. Riley's words, and the bandana Tess liked."


	10. Come Again?

So, "adult toys" are a popular choice for artifacts, huh? I must admit, that one was tricky. Mostly because I didn't exactly feel comfortable writing it to begin with, and the scene I did write was so forced and stood out in the worst way in the chapter. I didn't write exactly that, but did add something with awkward conversation that did fit much better. I hope you guys like it.

Not much to say about this chapter really, with the "present" parts. Or the AU for that matter. So, thanks for reading, and all that. Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER TEN**

 _Come Again?_

Going back to the very building you face an almost fatal fall a year ago was a daunting prospect for Joel. The research building was quiet, and surprisingly empty of bodies. The Colorado cannibals must have gathered their dead, either buried or ate them. Returning back to the very room where the dead firefly still remained in his final resting place seemed to be a good place to start. He had helped them once, maybe he could do it again.

No monkeys had returned, which made their job a whole lot easier. Pulling each box out of the cupboards and filing cabinets, checking every single piece of paper or x-ray. They had done a lot of research, but every experiment came up failure.

After going through the eight box, and finding only a crap load of paper filled with so many big scientific words that she didn't even vaguely understand, Ellie let out a growl, and threw the stack of the paper to the ground.

"Nothing," she said, with less frustration than she actually felt.

"Nothing here either," Joel replied, from his little city of file boxes.

"I need to get out of here, before I end up blowing my brains up the wall." Ellie heaved herself off the ground to her already numb legs. Having to lean on counters and such for support.

"Stay on this floor," Joel called after her, when she finally reached the door.

"Alright. And if you feel the urge to blow your brains out," Ellie replied, leaning on the frame of the doorway.

"I'll come find ya," Joel replied.

Ellie wandered down the corridors for a while, until she had all feeling back in her legs. She tried to imagine what it was like here, once upon a time, but she couldn't picture it. Just people standing around or sitting at work benches reading. _How could that be research?_ None what-so-ever. Going into one of the labs, she looked around for something cool to keep as a memento. The patches she got from the clothes store months back looked awesome on her backpack. She had hoped to find something like that. Have her rucksack be like a map of everywhere she went.

On the top of a workbench, she found some kind of comedy figure. Smallish body, holding a football, with a big head that nodded when she flicked it. Playing with the bobble-head toy for a while amused her for a while.

Back in the lab room, Joel gave up. His thoughts were foggy, and his head hurt. "Tess? You there? Talking to you for a while might help."

"Always, Texas," she replied.

Perched up on the counter, her foot resting on one of the box of files. Leaning backwards. Her palms flat on the counter top, her arms ridge to support her.

"Something on your mind? Need to get it off your chest?"

Joel looked up at her. Tried to remember what she looked like those nights they stayed up late filling bottles of pills. Dark rings under her eyes. Her bandana had fallen a little askew, where her hand knocked it out of place during a yawn. Barefoot, because she never did like wearing shoes when she went to sleep. After sorting the merchandise, she would get some much deserved sleep.

"Is that what you thought me up for, to remember what will never happen again?" asked Tess.

He leaned his forearm on his bended knee. "I wanted to talk to you, now I don't know what I'll say."

"Okay, I'll fill the blanks. Yes or no; you feel guilty, that you carry around a keepsake to remind you of me, and lie to Ellie about it."

"Yes," Joel admitted.

"You hate yourself because you missed your chance to tell Ellie the truth about what you did. Now she thinks all of your lies are true. Any attempt to tell the truth will come across as making her feel like shit because I died getting her away from Boston."

"Yes…"

* * *

There were so many hunters around. Hiding behind a car, they looked up at a room exposed by a chunk of the outer wall ripped out. Hunters were having a loud conversation, and didn't care who heard them. Ellie got a little over eager, hurrying over to the next car, accidently moving over to the next car, accidently kicking a bottle. Tess pulled her closer to her, with her hand over the girl's mouth. Ellie's breathing was slow, terrified they would be seen.

A hunter wearing a red hoodie came to the floor to ceiling glassless window, surveying the still street. Tess looked for Joel, but he was nowhere to be seen. She pulled her hand away from the girl's mouth, knowing she probably wouldn't scream. Pointing to the exact spot Ellie stood, Tess indicated for the girl to stay right there.

Unknown to them, Joel had gone into a store. Hidden behind a counter. Further down the store were trip wires. He was obscured from view by the big truck rammed into the side of the building. Joel raised the bowl, staring down the shaft of an arrow, he fired and it found it's mark, triggering the explosives. The boom shattered the air, echoing throughout the street. He dropped to the floor, remaining low. Waiting for the pursuing hunters, flooding to the store. Three came in, and were greeted with a face full of a smoke bomb.

Joel swung his gun around, pointing his gun at something coming at him fast. He lowered it at the sight of Ellie raising her hands.

"Where's Tess?" he whispered.

Half a second later, he got an answer. Numerous shots fired from the doorway, and picking off the hunters staggering out of the smoke coughing and spluttering.

* * *

"Joel! Get in here!" Ellie called.

Joel abandoned the papers and his conversation with his imaginary partner. Armed with an el Diablo, ready to gun down the group of people or infected his worry had created. Swinging his gun around, he shouted, "Get the fuck away from her!" as he left the corridor shrouded in plastic sheeting.

Ellie was not being attacked. Not one bit. She stood near the photocopier shooting him a look that implied; _Joel, seriously?_

Lowering his gun, Joel felt like a complete idiot. His heart was racing, and the adrenaline rush was replaced with a little bit of embarrassment. He approached the photocopier, wondering what the deal was. Lights were working on it.

"What is it, Ellie?" Joel asked, holstering his gun.

"I found this, and I wanted to know it is. We see like a million of these things. I figured I'd see what the deal is. So I pressed the green button, and if flashes light. That's it."

"It is a photocopier," Joel explained. "People would use it to copy stuff. Documents, articles, anything. Some people used to photocopy their ass, if they felt like it."

"Really?" said Ellie, surprised. "Have you ever photocopied your ass?"

Joel's mouth curved up at the edge. "Yeah, a bit. Me and some friends from high school were always getting in trouble. Principal got sick of seeing our faces in and out of his office every other day, so he made us work in the main office. We spent all afternoon copying our asses, and put the copies up all over school."

Ellie laughed. "Shut up! Really?"

"Yeah, and my old neighbor used to complain over everything. He called me a dick, 'cause I never used to take his crap. At this office we were renovating, I photocopied my—." Joel became very aware of who he was talking to. The end of his story wasn't exactly appropriate for a sixteen year old girl, who was as good as his daughter. He let out a cough. "So, yeah, I sent it to him for Christmas."

Ellie let out a laugh. "How would you even copy that?"

"It ain't easy," Joel replied, awkwardly.

Inspired, Ellie unzipped her pants, and begun dropping them.

"Woah, Ellie!" Joel shouted, embarrassed. He spun around, turning his back to her. "What the hell?"

"It's okay, you can turn around now," said Ellie, who was already sat bare ass on the glass of the copier.

"Nah, I'm good," Joel said. He was adamant about that.

"Joel. You have to look. How can I copy my ass, if I don't know how the thing works?"

"Why do you even want to copy your ass, anyway?"

"Well, Bill is an ass, and next time I see him I want to give him a picture of one. I'll make it look like a nice card and everything."

Against his will, Joel let out a laugh. "Press the green button."

"Oh!" Ellie pressed the button.

Waited while the copier did its thing, the flash of light moving across the screen. Once it was finished, she slipped off the copier, pulled up her pants and waited while the copier did its thing. Once it was deposited into the paper tray. Ellie held the copy up to the light.

"Wow. You got to see this," said Ellie, pretty impressed at the likeness.

"No," Joel told her, awkwardly.

"Seriously, Joel, you got to see this. The way the light really caught the shape of my butt cheek."

"Ellie," he growled.

Ellie laughed hard, folded the paper and slipped it in her backpack. "I'm just messing with you, Joel."

"Yeah, good…" Joel muttered.

* * *

Ellie ran over to a large billboard, displaying the movie poster of Dawn of the Wolf. The fucking things were everywhere. Tess and Joel followed her, and had the same reaction to the poster; a sarcastic _oh, joy…_ expression.

"What is Dawn of the Wolf? These things are everywhere," said Ellie.

"As good as a cult for kids," Tess commented. "Full of cheesy garbage about soul mates, and true love. As if any of that exists."

"Did you see this?" asked Ellie.

"Unfortunately. I thought it was one of those blood and guts, only one survivor kind of film. I was left seriously disappointed. Longest two hours of my life. You saw this too, Joel?"

"Yeah," he said, grimly. "Just a stupid teen movie."

Before Ellie could ask further questions, Joel walked away, planning to scope the alley out and avoid another conversation with a kid that was just cargo to him. The girls followed after him, Tess telling Ellie how they met—and was pretty adamant that she had hit Joel over the head with a can of potatoes.

"Hey," Joel hissed at them, throwing his arms out, to stop them from taking another step.

He peered around the corner, seeing that humvee from earlier speed by the fence off from the alley. Tess muttered something about that _fucking car hunting them down worse than the military._ At least with the military, she could just take them out with a well placed shot. Now it was her turn to disappear. Keeping low, she crept unnoticed to an open door. Gestured for Joel and Ellie to follow. Tess didn't linger long enough to see if they followed, before entering the open door of the next building. Two hunters were talking about bacon, or something along those lines.

"We're going to have to run for it," Ellie whispered to them, as they met in the little office.

"No," Joel whispered. "We don't run, until we got no other choice."

Neither were going to give in, so they looked to Tess to be the deciding vote. Tess however made the choice for them. One hunter shouted to the other about taking a nap in the office, and he didn't want to be disturbed. Tess ushered them out the door, lingering just outside herself. She waited until he was in the office, and his back turned to them. Slipped in and silenced him with her switchblade. Returned to Joel and Ellie with his jacket and cap.

"How about a game of dress up?" she whispered, handing them to Joel.

"Seriously, Tess, this is the best you can come up with?" he replied.

"Either that, or fight them off, and have that humvee kill us before we can even move."

"She is right, Joel, there isn't anywhere to hide from it," said Ellie.

"No, there is another way," said Joel.

* * *

After a long day of trudging through complicated files, they were glad to get back to the dorm they had claimed as their own. It was on the part of the building not adorned with a pretty giant hole in the corridor adorned with cordyceps spores. Theirs was clean, reasonably tidy. The portcullis was down—so to speak. In the fact that they had shut down the gates, disconnected the generators. No one was stupid enough to go through the spore filled lower floor without a gasmask, and even then they would hear them breaking in.

Ellie had claimed the top bunk. Lay flat on her stomach, reading the few sheets of paper she had brought with her, and Bill's gift. "Oh yeah, Joel, I got you something." She leaned over the edge of her bed, handing the bobble-head down to him. "I found it in one of those labs."

"Thanks Ellie," Joel said. He hadn't the heart to tell her it wasn't his team, and probably some merchandise for the school, to raise money for the Bighorns to get new shirts, or cups or something. The bobble-head could be of some kid, whose biggest problem was terrified he wouldn't score a touchdown and win the game.

About half hour later, when it was getting dark outside, Joel was woken from his state of slumber. He wasn't asleep, but not awake enough to quickly jump out of bed if he had to. There was a noise outside. Voices calling to one another. Ellie jumped down from her bed, hissed something to Joel, that jarred him partially out of her sleep. She slowly opened the door, looked down the dark deserted corridor. Crept out the door, looked out the window. People gathered in the courtyard—their own footsteps lead right up the stairs; the people down there would see them…

"Fuck," Ellie whispered.

One voice gave her a shivering chill to her spine; "Keep looking. It has got to be here." So deceptive. Calm enough to manipulate the naïve and the vulnerable. When manic… haunted her nightmares. The light of a flashlight hit him.

Like a frightened little child, she fell flat on her backside, recoiling away from the window until her back hit the wall. Trembling. Her face flushed, almost on the verge of tears. Joel's arms went around her, she buried her face into his chest, digging her fingers so tight into the sleeve of his jacket she caught some of the skin and it fucking hurt too—not that he tried to stop her. She was in such a state, he couldn't have stopped her if he tried.

"Ellie, baby girl, it's alright. I'm here…"

"Joel… _it's him…"_

"Who did you see?"

"Him, Joel… it's him, it's him… it is fucking him!"

Ellie was so frantic, she was barely able to make a lick of sense. To put her mind at rest, Joel looked out the window, ducked to avoid the beam of a flashlight. Lifted his head to look again, and saw many men. Nearly twenty of them. They had broken the gates in, and were working on doing the same to the others. Joel had no inkling to where he was supposed to be looking. Someone had really shook her up. He scooped her up into his arms, laid her down on his own bunk. Shut the door, pulled up a chair and hooked it under the door knob. Ran into the bathroom that adjoined with the next dorm. They could easily get in, and dragging furniture around would alert them.

Until Ellie was ready to talk, Joel would remain sentry. Sat in the open doorway of their dorm, a gun in his hand, pointing at the doorway opposite him. It is surprising how easily something like his adoptive daughter terrified as all hell in the middle of the night can jolt you out of exhaustion. By dawn he crashed, and went swiftly to sleep. When he woke up five hours later, he had a pillow under his head, and a blanket draped over him. Ellie was sat cross-legged on the lower bunk, staring at the wall, holding the gun Joel was sure he was holding when he fell asleep.

"I really did see him, Joel," said Ellie. Her voice was spacey, as if she was there, but not there at the same time. Like a house with all the lights on, but the people have all gone out. "I didn't make it up."

"Who, Ellie?" Joel muttered, easing himself up off the ground.

" _David_ ," she muttered, as if the name were verbal poison.

"He is dead. I saw the pulp mess you made of him on the steakhouse floor. Heck, I've seen road kill in a better condition than that. No one, not even he could have survived that."

"He was there. I heard his voice. Walking with them… talking. Giving orders. _"Keep looking._ _It has got to be here,"_ he said. They are searching for something. I saw his face. I see it in my nightmares. First, Riley's face the last time I saw her… the moment she turned. Then his. I'm in the steakhouse, running for the door. He is there, grappling with me over a revolver… pushing me back in… my knife plunges in his side… again. Again… we stumble and fall to the floor. I come around, but I can hear him. He is on top of me… hands at my throat… then I hack at him with the machete, again, and again…" Tears burst from her eyes.

Joel sat beside her, put his arm around her. "Just because you saw him, doesn't make it real. We are in Colorado, not far from where it happened. He is on your mind. Seeing him, it was your mind playing tricks."

"How? How can I just create a person. People don't just create people just to make themselves feel like shit, Joel."

"You'd be surprised."

"Have you?"

"Yeah. Not all the time."

"So, I thought, _hey, after everything I'll just think up some sick fucker I knew from about a year ago, and feel like shit all night._ "

"Ellie. People do it."

"Who, Joel, have you thought up to make yourself feel like shit?"

"Tess," he admitted. No details. No elaborating on when he thought her up. Just the name.

Ellie lowered her head and the gun. "We have read a lot of papers…"

"You're tired. Once we sort all this out, the hallucinating will stop."

"Good. We better find something soon. If we don't, I'm going to set them all on fire." She was joking, but Joel's reaction to it was totally serious.

"Hey, Ellie… say that again," said Joel, inspired with an idea.

"We better find something soon?"

"No, the other part."

"If we don't, I'm going to set them on fire."

"Fire," Joel said. "Fire." He said the word another two times, and Ellie thought he had popped numerous screws loose. "Think about it. Bloaters. Burn them, and they are weakened."

"We try setting the flower things on fire. Burn the flowers, get rid of the spores. Joel, you figured it out! We'll have to try it out now. We will have to make some molotovs…"

"I think there is still a couple of flamethrowers about the place. After we find some food, we get to work. Start with the lower dorm. Place was crawling with infected and spores last year."


	11. Déjà Vu or Bête Noire?

I have to admit, this chapter started out boring. No spark to it. (Kinda literally.) I did tweek it a little, by bringing in a new face, that just help Joel and Ellie on the first step of dealing with their issues. (At least beyond screaming at each other.) Let me know what you think. Not much else to say, so thank you for reading, and all that. Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER ELEVEN**

 _Déjà Vu or Bête Noire?_

It started at five o'clock sharp in the afternoon, with a cry of "the fucking little bitch bit me!"

The posse of cannibals on guard chasing after a small figure racing for the door, who slammed it shut and jammed a chair under the doorknob. Ran up and up the stairs, until the figure couldn't get any higher. Grabbed the rope stolen from a careless cannibal. Tied to a pipe attached to the wall by one of those very people playing guard. The little figure tossed the rope over the edge of the shooter's nest balcony. Climbed down. Ran as if infected were already bearing down on the scared little one.

All barbed wire was cut away from the blockades. The university was a maze, and the frightened little one took advantage of that. Hiding under anything the captors would run by without sparing even a moment to glance under. Running, fearing, desperate to get away.

Until at last there was hope. A gap in the wall near the dorms. The gates were open, but the guards liked to gather there of a night time. The little one scrambled through the gap, ran across the devastated office space. Up some stairs, found a corridor with a big gaping hole in the floor. Spore choked the air. Voices came from the office the frightened little one just left. Letting out a scared yelp, the escaped captive had no choice but to jump.

The place was blacker than a moonless cloudy night out in the forest. Feeling around, little fingers found something that had promise; a bottle. Crawling low of the floor that was throttled by cordyceps fungus and veins, the little one found the common room. Occasionally bumping into furniture. At the vending machine, there was light—quiet literally. A small little novelty flashlight, with the bighorns logo on it, but it worked. The beam wasn't all that great, but enough to see two dead clickers and a charred up bloater in the corridor.

 _Who could have done this?_ thought the little one, who found the door.

Turning the door handle didn't help. Nor pushing it. Kicking. Frantically trying to push it. Something kept the door shut, and it was too big for someone so small to open. The little one's heart plummeted. Numerous clickers flooded down from the giant hole in the ceiling.

Joel and Ellie knew none of this. Even though they were technically not all that far away, they were both asleep in their little safe house of sorts.

* * *

"Remind me why we are doing this again?" said Ellie, holstering her pistol. Her backpack was packed, and they had already procured some flamethrowers from around the campus.

Joel came out the can, deciding it was best to take a dump before heading out. "'Cause, they let their guard down at night. Huddled around a fire. Last thing we need is them on our ass, as we hightail it out of here. All we need to do is get rid of those spores, then we're gone." Joel stopped at the doorway, watching Ellie pack a few bits of food they had found in his rucksack.

"We'll go up the mountains," Ellie decided.

"Is that a fact?" Joel replied.

"Well, yeah," Ellie said, like it was totally obvious. "I killed like a million of those things up there." Exaggeration, but not far off. "We burn that place to the ground, all the infected in the area would run to it. Kill them all in one go."

"Sounds like a plan," Joel said.

"I do have one stipulation."

Joel looked to her, intrigued.

"Since we are going everywhere we know there are infected, I'll go to those suburbs with the shooter. Walk through those sewers, and kill every one of those fucking things. I don't want to go to Pittsburgh."

"Seems fair," Joel admitted. "I only saw infected in one place too flooded to be of any use. Since we're throwing around requests, I can't go back to Salt Lake. Not near those fireflies. Not after what they did to you, me… Tess. Used us, just to get you there…"

"And they didn't even want me," Ellie concluded, glumly. He was glad she said it, that was for sure.

Their terms agreed, Joel and Ellie slipped out of the dorm, kept low to avoid their shadows being seen through the windows. Some cannibals were down in the yard, around a barrel fire, telling what sounded like ghost stories, with an infected twist.

 _"_ _Shut it, will ya? Infected don't do that…"_

 _"_ _What is this chicken shit talking about? Tell me the story."_

Whoever told the story in the first place was happy to oblige, in an overly suspenseful voice. _"Military trucks going towards Boston. Alone on the open road…"_

The first one cut in with, _"Up near Salem, there is supposed to be some mad bitch pulling over military trucks. Claims to be infected, and kills the drivers. Just like that."_

 _"_ _That ain't scary,"_ said the second.

 _"_ _It is, when I tell it,"_ the third complained. _"They call her the infected siren…"_

Joel slipped on his gasmask, rolling his eyes. The men were fucking idiots. He reached the door. Opened it. Waited a moment, as the people down below exchanged a few words.

 _"Seen any sign of it yet?"_ said one of them.

 _"Nah. Fucking little monster got away. It's out here somewhere."_

 _"We ain't leaving without it."_

Joel got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't describe it. The way those men were talking… he felt angry. Seething with hatred for them. How could they go from joking about some woman, to talking so horrible about something described as 'little'? Before he even knew what he was doing, he pulled a shrapnel bomb out of his rucksack, stepped out onto the steps, and hurled it at them. The bomb went off like a hornet's nest, killing all three of them instantaneously.

"Jesus, Joel, you didn't have to do that…" said Ellie, absolutely gob smacked at his brutal killing of three men who could have been innocent bystanders.

"I'm not even going to try to explain it," he told her, his voice echoing because of the mask.

* * *

They could have searched for the big hole in the floor, but they figured they better make it easy for a quick getaway, if their burning of cordyceps flowers went horribly wrong. Heaving the vending machine seemed like a good idea over a year ago, even though he had killed all the infected lurking around in there. Now he had to force the damn thing out the way.

Ellie's hand landed on Joel's shoulder, pulling him back from opening the door. "Joel, listen," she whispered right into his ear.

He obliged her. Clicking noises, of at least half a dozen clickers. A little sob, roars of clickers, then a thud of something colliding with a wall. All the clickers dashing towards that, then returning to their usual pattern.

"Someone is in there," Ellie whispered.

Oh, fuck… Joel doing something that seemed like a good idea, had trapped someone down here. Ellie crept in first. Instead of using the flamethrower, she opted for a simple shotgun. What better time than to practice the moves Joel told her? Near a desk half covered in fungus, a clicker stood in slumber. She climbed up on the desk, and stabbed the fucking thing in the throat, and let if fall to the floor—now permanently dead.

 _One down,_ she mentally told herself. Slipped into the common room, and saw something small hiding under the pool table; a very little girl. A de-activated shrapnel bomb at her feet. Her tights were torn but not bloody. She reached up into the ball collector—the glass was broken away, grabbed a ball, and flung it at Joel, thinking he was a clicker. Joel narrowly dodged it, his hand raised, quickly hiding behind the other side of the pool table, to avoid swarming clickers.

The moment Ellie got close to the little girl, the frightened little one saw her chance.

She lunged at Ellie, snatching the shotgun from her stunned hands—Ellie was too busy trying to figure out if she was a runner or not. Ellie landed flat on her ass. The gun tucked under one arm, the girl ran towards the door at the far end, threw a ball into the dorms. An explosion boomed in the dorm, alerting two clickers, and killing two of them. Another bomb followed after the two, and finished them off. The fifth and last one charged at the girl, and received the blast of a shotgun at close range, blasting it right back out the common room again.

Shit! How the fuck did a kid so small know how to do that? It took months before Ellie felt competent enough to take on a hoard of infected.

Apparently, the little girl wasn't finished. She turned the gun on Ellie—who was too busy looking down the business end of a shotgun barrel to notice anything that the beam of her torch had landed on.

Joel had. He saw everything. A golden haired little girl who appeared to be about six—half of her hair had fallen out of the hood during the kerfuffle. Wearing a dress now dirty and a tad on the tatty side. Her tights… they were tattered alright. On the calf of her right leg was an infected bite, and it certainly wasn't new.

"Who are you? Did those men send you?!" Her voice sounded far too sweet and cute to be in anyway threatening. The only part about her in anyway threatening was the double barrel pump-shot gun she had pointed right at Ellie's face.

"No! No one sent me… we came because we wanted to," Ellie insisted.

"Ellie, look!" Joel said, pointing at the girl's leg.

Sure, from his angle, Joel could see it, but Ellie couldn't. The girl spun around, pointing the gun at Joel instead. Yep, now Ellie saw it.

"Who are you? And why are you wearing a mask…" She spun back around to Ellie. "And you're not!"

"I'm infected… like you."

"I'm not infected," the girl told her, matter-of-factly.

"You're safe," Joel told the little girl, trying to defuse the situation. "We ain't with those people. I'm guessing they were after you. They are dead."

The girl lowered the gun, interest swimming in her blue eyes. "All of them?"

"Well, three of them."

The girl lowered the gun entirely.

"Can I get up now?" Ellie asked. Not that she gave anyone any chance to say no. She heaved herself up off the floor.

They decided it best to take the little girl out of this place, and find her something to eat and drink before they set about their task. She claimed it was daylight when she got away from her captors, and it wasn't daylight any more. They lead her back up the stairs, closing the door back off, in case any of the cannibals or her captor fell in. Those bastards deserved to turn.

* * *

In the dorm, Joel had surrendered his bed. Allowed the little girl to sleep on it. She had stayed awake long enough to tell them her name—Annalisa Rebecca Hyde—hear Joel and Ellie's names, gorge herself with canned peaches so quick she nearly choked, drink a whole cup of rain water, and go off to sleep.

Joel and Ellie went outside to the corridor to talk.

"What do we do, Joel? We can't run off up the mountain with her."

"Maybe we can," Joel muttered.

"We can't. You remember her as well as I do. She was with three other people. They probably miss her, and she must miss them."

"What if they are dead?" Joel fired at her.

He had a point, and Ellie had to face it. They couldn't leave her to fend for herself. She was capable with a gun, and throwing bombs, but she couldn't possibly survive out there. Ellie wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing someone so young died because of her.

"Okay, how about this; we ask her where she last saw them. We go there. If her family isn't there, she comes with us," Ellie offered.

"Alright. Agreed."

Joel ducked just in time to avoid the beam of a flashlight, and dragged Ellie down with him. A bunch of men seemed cheerful, at the sight of the mangled bodies commenting they will _eat well tonight._

Ellie couldn't stop herself from whispering a "sick fuckers" comment.

Once they were gone, Ellie headed into the dorm. Annalisa was curled up into a small little ball, clinging to a corner of the blanket. Having a suspicion she had found the bear's owner, Ellie opened her backpack, pulled out the old teddy bear—no longer dirty—and tucked it in. Annalisa's arms went around the bear's torso, like a muscle memory. Her cheek resting on its head. During their journey from Wyoming, Ellie had washed it in the first burst of rain they came across, and replaced the moldy old stuffing from some destroyed toys from a store. She had to sacrifice one of her backpack patches to seal it up.

Ellie climbed up on her bunk, and settled down to sleep.

As for Joel, well, it wasn't the first time he had to bed down on the floor for the night. He took his rucksack off, and set it down on the table. Laying down on the floor, and went straight out. His alarm clock wasn't birds, infected, or even hunters. The giggle of a little girl. He raised his weary head, seeing Annalisa sat cross-legged on top of the desk, shaking the bobble-head toy, laughing every time its head wobbled. Apparently, Joel's rucksack wasn't entirely shut, she saw the toy on the top, and wanted to play with it. She was adamant that she hadn't touched anything else. Her hood was down, and her golden hair dangling past her shoulders. For a headband, she had a folded up pink bandana.

Once the three of them had eaten, the portions were tiny because they had to ration between three, Ellie got the ball rolling trying to figure out who the hell this girl was.

"Who taught you how to fire a gun?" Ellie asked.

Still playing with the bobble-head, Annalisa replied, "Tessa."

Joel did a double take. Too many things were lining up, but he had to piece it all together, before he started throwing around his own desperation for a crazy idea to come true.

Ellie glanced at Joel, insinuating the name hadn't gone over her head either. "Okay, who taught you how to make and throw those bombs?"

"Uncle Boom. He knows everything about blowing stuff up."

"Who taught you how to keep infected away?"

"Tessa."

Joel had to cut in. Too much was lining up. The gun, distracting infected, the bandana for fuck sake. He had to ask. The name was one letter away. "The same Tessa that taught you to fire a gun?"

"Nope! The Tessa that shares my blood."

"How many Tessas do you know?" Joel asked.

Annalisa held up two fingers. "One who killed the thing that bit me. One who shares my blood."

"What does the Tessa who showed you how to shoot look like?"

"Um…" She looked Ellie. "Little bigger than you!" She pulled all her hair back, to create a high ponytail. "Yellow. Not like mine. Lighter. Not yellow. Like brown, but not dark. Like my daddy's hair."

"Damn," Joel muttered. Just wishful thinking on his part. Yet again. Desperation to escape the constant heartache, had forced him to think _she_ could be alive.

* * *

At nightfall, none of the cannibals came back. Joel stayed in the dorm with Annalisa, talking to her. She had practically forced him to play with her. Giving him her teddy bear, and making him be judges, for her making the bobble-head do tricks by throwing it in the air. Both Ellie and Joel had agreed she might as well keep it, since she loved it so much.

He tried to ask her about her family. All she remembered was a large lake, that was entirely frozen over, and a really big house that wasn't really a house. Gates were locked. Ellie recognized it. She figured it could be the ski lodge she had attempted to lose _his_ men, while she fled through.

"You practice those tricks, and I'll come judge in a couple of minutes," said Joel, getting up. His legs were already half asleep. "I'll get Ellie to come in. All three of us can be judges."

That pleased Annalisa. She was a good kid. Far too sweet and naïve to have come from this world. Had she told him she was a time traveler from the old pre-cordyceps days, he might just have believed it too.

Ellie stood in the corridor, looking up at the stars. Silently, Joel stood beside her, taking in the view of the stars. Like blue velvet sprinkled in diamonds.

"Tomorrow for sure," Ellie muttered.

"Agreed. Maybe the kid can help out."

"She is eight years old, and she can take out five clickers all by herself."

"How did you know she is eight? She looks six to me."

"I asked her. How does it happen, Joel? In Jackson, kids like her were playing stupid games, and collecting things."

"If we do our job, then that won't be much of a problem any longer."

"Can we really make them all extinct?"

"Not exactly. Maybe we will have to tell a few people along the way how to get rid of the spores, and word will spread."

"Sounds good." Ellie gazed up at the stars, wondering why they were so bright. Why she could see them out in the unclaimed parts of America, but not in places like Jackson with street lights, and so on. "Leaving does have its advantages."

"That it does," Joel agreed. "Can't deny the view."

Ellie smiled, tilting her head and resting it against his arm. "Joel?"

"Ellie?"

"Thank you."


	12. Is this Madness?

Finally a new chapter! This one I admit, did take some work. For a while, I considered replacing the AU with a fic that did go up, but was deleted again because I felt it could fit in this story much better. (If you are one of the three lucky people who got to read it before it was deleted, you might get to see it again in a future chapter.) Also, you might notice a slight plot change in the AUs, because I neglected to remember that Tess, Ellie and Joel entered Pittsburgh at night, not day time. All their Pittsburgh adventures were at night. Yep, so had to make a derailing from game plot.

Before this turns into a great wall of text, I'll say; thanks to everyone who has read this, reviewed, and all that.

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWELVE**

 _Is This Madness?_

Slowly opening the door to the dank, dark, spore infested lower floor of the dorm, Annalisa was to go in first. Mostly because she was small, easily over looked, and could defend herself. Joel had given her the shorty gun, because if she was going to brandish around anything like a shotgun, it should be something a "little more her size." Ellie couldn't help remembering Pittsburgh, when he had said the same to her.

The little girl saw no infected, so she gave Joel the thumbs up. That was all she was to do. Check if the coast is clear, and remain on the stairwell out of sight, and throw a brick into the corridor, if she heard someone coming.

Going right to the end of the corridor, Ellie pointed the flamethrower at the worst part of the cordyceps flower. "Here goes nothing…" She sent one powerful burst of flame.

As if the thing were doused in gasoline, it burned fast. Flickering red and orange fire engulfed it. Spreading fast, along the weird petal shapes, up through the long fucked up veins. Until it burned out. All in its wake was left flaky and black. A few more bursts at the non-burned parts.

Joel moved through the dorms, making sure to collect anything they could make use of later. The rest of his attention was focused on burning up any fungus or cordyceps flowers. The more they burned, the more it became difficult to tell if it was in anyway making a dent in the spores situation. Each room was still dark, and it smelled of wood rot, backed up drains, and now a burned charred smell.

"Hey!" came from above them.

Joel looked up at the big hole in the ceiling, and saw Annalisa looking back at him. "What the hell you doing up there? Thought I told you to hide, and not come out."

"I had to see if all the spores were gone," Annalisa replied.

"Are they?"

"Nope! Not as many as yesterday."

"Hey, Ellie," Joel called.

Ellie came out of the common room, where she was in the process of burning fungus. "I heard. Burning it is helping, but how are we going to wash it all away?"

"We'll figure that out when we're done," Joel replied.

"Or leave it. After the spores are gone, does it matter if this place is a shit hole?"

"I see your point. It's not like this place has a drain, to filter out all the water. If we flooded the place, that is."

"Annalisa?" Ellie called up.

"Yes?" the little girl called back.

"We are so going to have to come up with a nickname for you. Shout as soon as the spores stop. Open the windows if you—."

What followed was two blasts of the shorty, and shattering glass. Then Joel hollering up to her to save some ammo. Not that she listened. There was another blast. To be fair, a little ventilation could help. At least, get rid of some of the smoke. It was easy for Joel, he had the mask. The girls were stuck breathing in spores and smoke.

* * *

Running…not one of his best ideas. Seriously, what gave Joel the idea that they could out run a humvee equipped with a turret? They had no time to linger, through the open door at the end of the alley, up the stairs and through an open window onto a fire escape. Across a plank, shimmying across the side of a building, and in through an apartment window. The doors were blocked off, but they had to admit it was pretty nice. Joel was that out of breath, he almost collapsed on the floor.

Tess herself was hunched over winded. "Not one of your better ideas."

"We got away, didn't we?" Joel replied.

Tess tilted her head to the side. "Subtly never was our thing. Catch your breath, then we get going. Sun will be up in an hour, and the place will be flooded with assholes."

"I'll look in the kitchen for food," Ellie muttered.

Joel raised himself from the ground. "No. We push on. Find a better place to wait for dark."

Once again, they had to climb out of another window. Frantically listening for any sound of that fucking humvee. The apartment the next window over was empty, but there were signs that someone had been there not all that long ago. Whatever supplies they could use were gone. Probably a good idea to put some distance between them and a window with asshole access. The next floor down offered more a more suitable safe house to rest for a while. Joel had to break the door open with a shiv, but the apartment was surprisingly well stocked for everything they needed.

"Not bad," Tess commented. "Much better than our dump."

Sorting out the sleeping arrangements was easy. There was a kids bedroom; Ellie would get that. The room already had comic books and other stuff to keep her occupied. Tess got the other bedroom, and Joel would crash on the couch.

Tess lingered in the doorway, "Not going take the other side of the bed?"

Slumping own on the couch, he replied. "I would, but the slit throat look wouldn't suit me."

Tess let out a laugh. "That was one time. And, I stabbed him in the balls. Guy breaks in my apartment and tries to touch me in my sleep, I'm obligated to cut him."

"I'm good here," Joel replied.

"Alright. If you change your mind…" Tess removed her knife from her backpack, and stabbed the blade into the wall.

* * *

He had to admit, the room was starting to get a little clearer. Joel took a little break from the "extermination job" as Ellie had called it. He sat down on the stairs. Alas, he could not rest. Footsteps came towards him in a hurry, thundering down the steps, until the little giggle monster found him. Pouncing on him from behind, giving him a little bear hug he didn't ask for.

"What the hell is this for?" Joel asked, trying to wriggle out of her tight grasp. Not that he didn't appreciate it. Heck, it had been a long time since anyone gave him a proper hug. He might have given one to his brother over a year ago, but that was a long time coming.

Annalisa let out a giggle, as she released him, and sat down on the step beside him. "You looked like you needed a hug. Everyone who looks down, deserves a hug to pick them back up!"

"More words o' wisdom from Tessa?" Joel asked.

Annalisa nodded.

Joel couldn't help wondering which one. All the kid talked about was Tessa this. Tessa that. The more she prattled on, the clearer this image came in his head of a vampire Franken-Tessa, who saved kids from infected, taught them to shoot, and drank their blood, and spouted words of wisdom, about showing kindness to one and all.

Apparently going to the big hole in the floor wasn't the only thing Annalisa had done. Somehow she had procured a pink backpack, that oddly suited her; pink, cute, and big enough to keep plenty of supplies, that she always seemed to keep finding. "I found it on the way back. There was lots in one of those dorms."

"Don't go sneaking off. Ellie and I can't protect you, if we ain't around."

"You were taking a really long time," Annalisa complained.

Ellie came to the door. "The gas canister on mine is empty. Joel, you got much ammo?"

"Not a lot. How many did you burn up?"

"A lot…" Ellie admitted.

"But there is a whole lot more," Joel said, finishing her sentence.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. This will take longer than we thought."

"I could look around for stuff to make those fire bottles," Annalisa said.

"Nah," Joel dismissed. "We run out of ammo, we come back tomorrow."

Man, that kid's eyes got big when she was sad. Or at least, they appeared so. Big and sad, with a trembling lip. Like an angelic little puppy in some cartoon. Joel had no choice but to cave, to stop the kid from letting out a couple of tears to go with it.

"Alright, fine. Go find some stuff, but leave the mixing part to me," Joel said. Had he become a soft touch in his old age? Apparently so. As she hurried up the stairs, he yelled, "AND DON'T LEAVE THAT FLOOR!"

Ellie's gaze lowered, lingering towards the cracks and grime on the floor. "Joel, I think we should go back to how it used to be…"

"How what used to be?"

"When we didn't talk about Tess. Each time Annalisa says Tessa, I get this weird feeling, like there is some secret I don't know."

"That Tess could be alive?"

"Yeah. If we don't talk about her for a while, maybe the feeling will go away."

"It ain't never going away. I see what your point. If that is what you want, Ellie, we can stop talking about her for a little while."

"But…" Ellie looked him in the eyes. "Every now and then, we talk a little? You could tell me what she was like back in the zone."

"Not much to tell, that you didn't see for yourself. All right, if that is what you want."

* * *

Ellie was gone a long time. She headed downstairs, to check something out. That left Joel and Tess with the task of packing up their supplies. It wasn't exactly night, and it wasn't morning either. Joel tried to lock the door behind them, but the shiv had snapped that pretty good. Didn't matter. They are never coming back. Tess and Joel met Ellie halfway down the stairs, she looked excited about something.

"Guys, I found a toy shop. There was this kid—his name is Sam. He says his brother can help us. They have a plan to leave the city soon. We just have to meet them."

Joel looked to Tess. "Tess?"

Tess nodded. "We go meet them. If they can help, we co-operate."

They headed down the stairs, into the abandoned toy store.

"What are you doing?" Joel asked, noticing Ellie pick up some robot toy.

"Nothing. Just looking is all," said Ellie. The moment both of their backs were turned, the toy went into her backpack.

* * *

"INFECTED!" came from above.

Joel barely got a moment to process that, especially with a little girl falling at him from above. He barely had a second to pass his flamethrower onto Ellie, before having to catch Annalisa. There was no way he was letting her go. Not with her little feet, she would slow them down. This was a lost cause. Any progress they made, more damn infected came along. Ellie and Joel retreated down the corridor, and through the door, barely missing the hoard of runners and clickers falling down from the hole in the roof.

Joel hastily set Annalisa down. "Ellie, help me move this…" Joel threw his full weight at the vending machine.

"On it," Ellie replied, pushing the machine in the direction to block the door.

Struggling, they managed to block off the door, to stop the infected from getting at them. A clang noise scared the shit out of them, as a few cans of soda fell out the collection slot and landed on the floor. Ellie couldn't help laughing at herself. Annalisa was quick to pick the cans up. They were probably long flat, and probably tasted worse than spores, but they weren't in any position to pass up food and drink, when it was offered to them.

"I thought I told you to stay on that floor," Joel scolded the little girl.

"I did…" said Annalisa. She went all mopey again, like a puppy being yelled at for taking a leak on the rug. "I moved some of that stuff blocking the corridor off."

"It don't matter what you do. I need you to listen to me. Go back up stairs."

Ellie waited until Annalisa had gone all the way upstairs, before she let out a laugh. "Oh, Joel…"

"What?" Joel asked.

"You are treating her the way you did me. You pretty much said exactly the same thing to me like two years ago."

Joel frowned. Had it been two years? I must have been. They arrived in Jackson in the summer, and they had seen another summer come and go before they decided to go on this little crusade if theirs. Ellie's words really sunk in. Hard. She was right. He was treating Annalisa exactly how he had treated Ellie.

He pondered on that hard, as they walked up the stairs, and down the corridor to see the work the little girl had done. She had created quite a good sized gap in the heap of furniture, mostly big enough for Annalisa herself or Ellie to squeeze through. Praising the girl on her hard work, he felt like he had redeemed himself a little for yelling at her. The praise did him a little good, as it earned him a flat warm cherry soda to boot. After he drank it, Joel slipped on his gas mask, just in case. The windows were doing a pretty good job of clearing some of the spores, not that there were too many of those to begin with. Ellie sat down on the floor, watching runners charge around on the floor below. They wore the same garb as some of the cannibals they had seen.

"The windows," Ellie muttered. "Saying we burn away the cordyceps fungus off them, and smash them. That should let some light and air in there."

"I think you might be right," Joel admitted. "Those things are always places dark an' damp."

"Give me your flamethrower."

Joel obliged her. Concentrating hard, Ellie tried to block out the hollers and moans of the runners reacting to even the slightest sound. Slowly squeezing the rigger, engulfed the flower spreading across the window in flame—just enough for the fire to spread. A runner charged towards the flame, and got burned up with it. Annalisa reappeared—neither Ellie or Joel knew when exactly she disappeared. The kid was like half ninja cat. She had a brick in her hand.

"Better than bullets," she said, holding out the brick for Joel to take.

"Joel, this isn't working," Ellie decided. "We're busting our asses trying to burn all that fungus away, and more infected keep coming. I think we should stop trying. For a while. Take Annalisa to her family. Deal with the infected on the mountain, and come back. It isn't like it used to be. Do all that _keep pushing forward_ thing. We can come back if we want."

"I reckon you might be right," Joel admitted. Coming back to this place wasn't exactly something he wanted, but he couldn't stand the place a moment longer.

* * *

Walking right into the hideout of someone they had never met didn't sit right with Joel. This could be some hunter trap for all he knew. Trying to lure them out with a kid, and kill them all at once. Until they reached the office sweet. They met a man of twenty five, and the boy Ellie spoke of.

"So, you're the people Sam talked about. I'm Henry." He turned his head towards Ellie. "You must be the girl Sam mentioned, Ellie he said your name is?"

Ellie nodded.

"Joel," said the man who owned that name.

"I'm Tess."

Henry opened the door to the suite. "You better come inside."

Henry lead them through to the office, explaining they had this place a little while. Getting the key by killing one of them. He made a huge deal of welcoming them to "his" office. The office itself was nothing all that special. The view appealed to Tess; overlooking a checkpoint heavily guarded by hunters.

* * *

Snow covered the road, and made it beautiful. That was one thing they could depend on. No matter how shitty and miserable the world seemed, snow made it seem beautiful. White, clear, and sparkly under the light of the sun. Joel hadn't spoken a word since they left the college campus. He couldn't shake the fear Ellie was going to die. Already, he had created the image in his head. A fight with infected—Ellie got bitten again. She may have been immune to one, but two? They reached the lodge, those two men and the little boy were dead. More infected or cannibals on the way. Ellie giving him some speech about making a difference. Then having to start again with the kid, but carrying two ghosts with him; Ellie and Tess. He would take Annalisa back to Jackson, let someone take her off his hands, then find some little hole and wait to die. Or run out of the compound, find the first pack of clickers and let them end his misery.

"Joel?" catapulted him from his waking nightmare. He took a few seconds to realize Ellie had spoken to him.

"Yeah, Ellie?" Joel muttered.

He looked to the little girl skipping along beside them, occasionally twirling, giggling away. She was a sweet girl, he just couldn't deal with caring for her after losing two daughters.

"There is a pack of infected up ahead. We should get off the road," Ellie informed him.

"Yeah." That was the last thing Joel said for a little while.

They headed off the road, towards the trees. The ski-lodge wasn't all that far away. Getting there for Joel was practically auto-pilot mode. He didn't remember packing up their supplies. Fighting off the runners that flooded out the now broken windows of that lower floor—he had spent the whole fight keeping one eye on Ellie in case the fucking things bit her. Or walking all the way up here. Annalisa had made herself useful. At every car they happened upon, she checked for supplies. Sometimes food. Sometimes medic kits. Or misc items they could use to craft things.

Rammed into the side of a tree, about half a mile from the road, was a beaten up old minibus. How the fuck did it get that far off the road?! They decided to make camp for the night, and push ahead in the morning. Surely if the kid's family was alive, they would stick around as long as they could to wait for her.

Joel took first watch, listening for infected. He fell asleep only for about ten minutes. As he jerked himself out of sleep, he noticed Annalisa sat cross-legged on a stump, looking up at the stars. She appeared to be talking to herself. Apparently she had found some socks in that backpack, because her torn tights were entirely covered. Her backpack was propped up open at the side of her stump chair. The bobble-head stood next to her, and her teddy in her arms.

"I'm not afraid anymore," she told the stars. "Not of those things. I really miss you, Tessa. When I come to heaven, will you play with me again? I got teddy back. He can come too. And my new friends. Ellie is really nice to me, but Joel is grumpy. He just needs lots of hugs to cheer him up. Maybe they can come home. Ellie is like me."

Joel decided to leave her to her private moment. Sometimes talking to the stars helped. He waited until she had finished her conversation with the stars, and skipped off to sleep in the minibus. Must have been madness, or the need to talk, but he took his place on the stump. Looking up at the stars.

"This is stupid," Joel muttered. "Grown man talking to the stars. Tess, you're dead, and ain't never coming back. Talking to some stars ain't going to do a damn thing. You are dead, on the floor of the Boston capitol building, not floating around up there amongst the stars. Why can't I accept that? Why are you always there, in my head. Walking beside me. Talking. Turning up when I need you. Why can't I move on? Is that how this was supposed to play out, Tess? Rip the band-aid off? Send me off on the job. Let me bond with Ellie, and open up in a way I never could with you, and leave me desperate to see you again?" He fell silent for a moment. Watching, hoping that one of them might shine a little brighter, or give him some sign his words were heard. Or a shooting star for fucksake, he could wish the pain away on. "Didn't think this would work. Fucking madness."

Unknown to Joel, someone was watching him. She had heard voices, and assumed someone else had found them. Hidden behind a tree, her heart racing so fast, she feared he might have heard her. How could she have missed the signs? She had heard him talking to himself once before, back in that town in Wyoming, but this…

Ellie held her hand over her mouth, to stop herself from verbally calling herself the worst person in the whole world. How the hell could she tell him she heard him? Just, _"Oh, hey Joel, last night I got up, heard you pouring your heart out to the stars, I'm a complete selfish bitch for causing it, you can now begin hating my guts."_ No. That would never work. She had betrayed him once by hearing it.


	13. Should I Trust You?

Thanks for the reviews and all that. This chapter was much longer, but I had to split it. Also, got to say... YAY! END OF PITTSBURGH AU! (Finally, I got over the most difficult part of the story. Pittsburgh gave me more headaches than any other part of the plot.) Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

 _Should I Trust You?_

Breakfast was a rare treat. Amongst the many things Annalisa had filled her backpack with, a working hot plate was one of them. Unfortunately they lacked a skillet or anything to cook the food on. Still, a warm meal wasn't something to cough at. They just set the cans on the hot plate, and hoped it didn't blow up in all their faces.

"You all right?" asked Joel, noticing Ellie's quietness.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well is all." True enough. After what she had heard, she just lay there on the seats she had chosen for a bed, an waited for morning to come.

Ellie watched Annalisa rearrange the stuff in her backpack, wondering how the hell she managed to fit so much stuff in there. One object caught her eye. A little giraffe key ring. Ellie couldn't help picking it up to get a better look. It was pretty cute. Just a little toy giraffe, attached to a little chain.

"This is pretty cute. Annalisa, where did you get this from?" said Ellie.

Annalisa gave the giraffe a glance. "Home! On Founder's Day, our leader lets all us children go to the warehouse and pick one thing to keep."

"Are there a lot of stuff in there?"

Annalisa nodded. "One for supplies we need, until they go into the shops. Things we don't, but have to earn. That came from the second." Ellie went to hand it back to her. "Nope! You keep it."

Ellie shook her head. She wasn't about to take a toy from a little kid. "It is yours."

"We give things to people to remember them," Annalisa insisted.

"Tessa tell you that?"

"Nope. Daddy. I have something to remember you…" She grabbed her bear, and pointed to the patch on its back. "And this to remember Joel…" She retrieved the bobble-head from one of the pockets of her backpack.

"Alright, if you're sure…" said Ellie, attaching the key ring to the zip pull of her own backpack.

Joel smiled, watching the two girls talking. Maybe it was good to have the kid around. She certainly brought out that childlike essence out in Ellie, and in this world she needed it.

* * *

Fighting their way through a checkpoint with a "skeleton crew" was supposed to be the easy part. With four people shooting, two of them being armed with more than a pistol, sure they had good odds. The gates were shut, and the humvee had spotted them. Joel saw the hunter climbing over the truck, and ended him quickly. He run over to the truck, offered them a boost, as the humvee was in the process of ramming the gates. Ellie, Sam, Henry. All of them managed to get up to the ladder without a problem.

"Tess, come on," Joel hollered.

She quickly shot a glance to the gates, and didn't like the odds. "There isn't enough time…" Giving Joel no choice, she ran towards nearby shutters.

"We'll climb back down," said Ellie.

Henry knew Sam was at risk. "We got to go," he said, before retreating with Sam.

Tess pulled out her gun, considering putting a bullet in him. She knew she shouldn't have trusted him. Shooting him would have wasted time they didn't have.

"What the fuck, Henry?!" Ellie shouted, before jumping down.

The humvee breeched the gates, just as Tess and Joel had managed to raise the shutters.

"Ellie, get in," Tess hollered.

Ellie did as she was told—now wasn't the time to argue. Both the girls ducked inside, and held the shutters open for Joel to slip under. It fell shut with a slam and the sound of bullets ricocheting off the metal surface. Ellie crumpled on the ground, panting for breath. She felt like she had outrun the thing all over again.

"Shit," said Ellie, between small panicked breaths.

Joel slowly moved towards the door—he was sure he had heard voices coming from the bar in the other room. Hunters had already found them. "Tess…" he whispered.

She nodded, hearing them for herself. There was nowhere to hide in the storage room. Gesturing for Ellie to follow, she kept low. Creeping in through the door, hiding behind the bar. Joel moved towards the pool tables. Ellie herself wasn't sure who she should follow. Before now Tess had told her who to follow. Taking her chances, she followed Tess. At least Tess was less likely to brush her off if she did something wrong.

* * *

Sneaking around the forest with a bow looking for food was a little too foreboding. She had met one sadistic weirdo up here once, it could happen again. Joel had tried talking her out of going hunting for food, but they really needed it. Even with all the canned food Annalisa had picked up, there still wasn't enough to last more than a day or two. She had plenty of ammo to last, and a hunter's rifle of her own. No one would catch her off guard this time. If they did, she wouldn't be duped.

Solitude helped her clear her thoughts. Process what she had heard. Joel was in pain, and the more she helped, the more he hurt. She tried to remember the exact moment his wall started to build up. Everything was good between them when they met in the woods. He seemed fine. Everything was normal when he taught her to kill a clicker. This started off such a good thing for them. Maybe staying in Jackson County was the best move for them. She never fit in, but he sorta did.

The mountain air suited her. White snow carpets, tall trees stretching towards the skies. Swaying shrubs moving with the breeze. That constant smell of pine. Not so strong that it was overpowering, but subtle enough to forget it was there. She walked along near the frozen pond. Or was it a lake? She couldn't quite decide. Much smaller than a lake, bigger than any pond she had seen. Ellie crouched near the frozen pool of water, looked at her reflection. She rubbed her hands together just like Joel had showed her, and blew her warm breath into her gloves. Standing, she inhaled deeply of the snowy piney air.

Under foot she heard the crack of twigs, that she didn't even notice stepping on. It was followed by the sound of someone clicking the safety off a gun. All the hairs stood up on the back of her neck. Slowly she raised her hands, feeling a presence behind her. It had to be human. Infected would have pounced on her by now.

"Turn around," came the voice of a man.

Slowly Ellie turned around, her hands still raised. She knew him. Sandy brown hair, falling to his chin. Bearded. Hazel eyed. He pointed a revolver at her, showing no signs of lowering it at the sight of a young girl.

"Why do you have my daughter's key ring?" he growled at her.

"Annalisa gave it to me," Ellie blurted out.

"Oh," he muttered, flicking the safety on and holstering the revolver.

Ellie blinked. "Just like that?"

"I told Annalisa not to tell anyone her name unless they could be trusted. Where is she?"

"With my—." Her mind went blank. How did she describe Joel? Friend? Father? Partner? Travelling companion? What were they exactly? The notion of asking him never occurred to her before. They were just Ellie and Joel. She trusted him completely, respected him, confided in him, wasn't afraid to confront him if she had to. "Joel. She is with Joel."

There was a watery look in his eyes. Either sadness or happiness, either one of them could be the reason for his tears. "Did they hurt her?"

Ellie shook her head. "She is fine. Smiling. Skipping. Picking up anything she sees."

He smiled, thinking fondly of his little girl. "I feared…" The flicker of happiness faded fast. Overcome with tears, he buried his face into his hands.

Feeling sympathy for him, Ellie patted him on the arm. Waited for him to collected himself. Snow started to fall. Ellie looked up, wondering why snow was so different from rain. One was clear, the other was white. She noticed she wasn't the only one looking up at the falling snowflakes.

"The day Annalisa was born, it was snowing," he muttered.

Ellie wanted to address him by name, but she realized that he hadn't told her his name. Then again, she wasn't exactly forthcoming with her own either. She knew he was genuine, having seen him with his daughter once before.

"I'm Ellie," she muttered.

"Josh."

An icy breeze picked up, making both of them shiver. Ellie knew only of one place that was out of the cold. The shack she had no intention of going into, but the barn however… it lacked a roof at most parts, and half the ground was covered in snow. At least it was better than out in the open being pelted with wind harsher than jumping into a pool of water. As they walked further up the mountain, over the fence, towards the barn, Josh told Ellie about how he was separated from his daughter.

"We found some ski-lodge to settle. Some people offered us food in exchange for allowing them to stay in the shelter overnight. One of them—I think his name was Joseph, saw me tucking Annalisa into her sleeping bag. She never liked wearing socks while she slept. So, I was taking them off. She notices him, smiling like she always does. I had covered her leg and zipped her in, stupidly thought he hadn't seen it. Of course he had seen it. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Ellie braced herself for the cold, rolling up her sleeve. Let him see the scar of the bite mark on her wrist. "It's two years told." She rolled her sleeve back down.

"Before we know what is happening, some guy jumps in through the window. Waves a gun around. Milo and MJ tried to head them off in the lobby. I can't go anywhere. Annalisa is asleep. I try to hold my ground, but I run out of ammo. I turned to Annalisa, planning on carrying her out there. She is gone. Someone tries to shoot me. I figured maybe Milo took her. Once the place clears out, both of them are gone, so is my little girl. We planned on coming up here, so I figured I'd wait it out."

"Maybe we should head down the mountain," Ellie suggested. "Joel and Annalisa are heading for the lodge, I promised I'd meet them there with some food. I should get something."

"I have some food," Josh said. "Not a whole lot, but better than nothing. Do you like preserves? A while back, we passed by some factory. People were packing up some jam, and gave us a whole box."

"Oh yeah, me and Joel went there." She failed to fill in the blank of what exactly happened there, with all the freeing people who were forced to work there, and killing the people who captured them, was hardly suitable conversation. "The jam was pretty amazing."

Josh stopped, pulled off his backpack, retrieved a jar and offered it to her.

"I couldn't," Ellie said. "Thank you, but…"

"Take it. Consider it a thanks for taking care of Annalisa."

Thinking it would be rude to reject it again, Ellie obliged. They turned around, heading down the mountain. Ellie already ate half the jam before she remembered she hadn't told him where they found the little girl.

"The university," said Ellie.

Josh turned and looked at her confused.

"Don't you know about the University of Eastern Colorado? Bighorns? Big shiny building with monkeys running around…"

Each detail seemed lost on him. "We're not from around here. Salem, Massachusetts. You heard of it?"

"I think so. Is it up near Boston?"

"Not far from it, actually. Are you from Boston?"

"Yeah. For a while. Then Lincoln. Pittsburgh. Jackson. Even here for a couple of months. I move around a lot.

"Don't we all," Josh replied.

"You moved around? Why?"

"Annalisa. To protect her. Two years ago, a woman passed by Salem. Saw Annalisa and her bite. In our settlement, there are a lot more people like her. Or people more open minded about the possibility of being immune to the CBI. That is the one place she doesn't have to cover up. We talked it out with our leader, Tessa, and decided it best to lead them away. Our group got lost for a while. Long story short, we have been running from the Fireflies ever since."

"Fireflies?" said Ellie, completely gob-smacked. The word hit her with the same force as a boulder rolling down a mountain, steamrollering over everything in its patch. "What did they want with her?"

"Didn't give them a chance to say. But we could hazard a pretty good guess. Rumors circulate. Fireflies feeding immune people with false hope of a vaccine. All of them end up dead, and nothing to show for it. I didn't want that future for my daughter. She is just a little child. I'd rather her live, than be just another statistic that didn't make it."

"Yeah…" Ellie muttered. She had this strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, as if she couldn't decide if she wanted to vomit or just felt queasy. "But… if it can save people? Wait… no. I don't know what to say, Josh. Your daughter shouldn't have to be put through that. She deserves a life. What about someone who has lived. Not as much as most. Still had some life. Seen people die, who should have lived. Done things no one ever should. Then shouldn't they at least get a shot at being the one that makes a difference?"

Josh stopped in his tracks. Turned, and looked her in the eyes. "Everyone deserves a shot at life. Whether they choose to waste it or not. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the world we live in is gray. Some people are given no choice in the matter. Depends what you do with the time you have. Ellie, what are you getting at? You faced something like that?"

"No. Sorta. Don't matter."

* * *

"Joel! We don't have time!" Tess shouted at Joel.

They were on the edge of the bridge, and that fucking humvee was bearing down on them. They had two options, and neither one was favorable; stand and die just before the finish line, or jump and risk drowning.

"Give me a second…" Joel muttered, looking around for something. Dangling chain… something.

The humvee rammed against a bus, knocking it closer and closer to the edge.

"Tess…" said Ellie, so terrified she was on the verge of literally shitting her pants. "Joel…"

"Fuck this," said Tess. She threw her arms around Ellie, and jumped over the edge.

Joel went right after them. They plummeted down into the rushing waters. Air smashing against them so severely they could barely breath. Everything went quiet. The sounds were all there. The crashing of the waves against the rocks. Bullets fired from the humvee above. Neither of them could hear it. In an explosion, they plunged into the water, frantically trying to surface. Tess barely able to swim, with her arms clinging to Ellie. Joel desperately trying to get to the girls. Until they collided with the rocks.

* * *

Little footprints in the snow. How long had it been since Joel had seen them? Such small little girl feet. There was a whole trail of them, where Annalisa skipped along. None of this seemed to bother her at all. The way she acted, you'd think Joel was just some uncle she visited for the weekend, and was on her way back home.

"Not much further now," Joel said, trying to remember Ellie's instructions. Granted they were off the beaten track, and she had learned them from fleeing from cannibals, but he had followed them pretty well. _"Joel, it is so simple. Go to Whitefish Lake. You know, near where we stayed for a while in the basement? Follow the street right to the end. Jump off the cliffs. Run towards the cabin. You will find some place with cabins and boats. Go right through, follow the nature trail, and you're there."_ "Keep quiet, in case something is lurking around."

Annalisa looked to him with a big smile on her face. She could do quiet. Perky skip in her step quiet, but quiet none the less. Walking with her remind him of Ellie, before their journey changed her. When she made guitar noises, and tried to whistle. Asked loads of questions, and still managed to crack a joke in a city full of hunters. He wondered if she could ever be that way again.

They came across the trail. The detail Ellie had left out, the thing was rotted away and it caved, and slid off the side of the small cliff the moment both Annalisa and Joel were on the other side. The whole wooden structure was on the verge of crumbling. That "and there you are" wasn't exactly right. More like, through a tunnel or two where Joel would almost have to belly crawl through.

Meeting them near the ski-lodge was a whole hoard of infected—they hadn't seen either Joel or Annalisa yet, but they were there. Moaning in pain, skulking around. These had not long turned. All of them runners. Something had gone down in Colorado to create so many infected. Maybe all those cannibals had got what was coming to them.

Joel hurried over to a low wall, looking up at the large dilapidated house, that had to be the place they were looking for. Annalisa hurried over to join him.

"Stick close to me, okay?" Joel whispered.

Annalisa nodded.

Joel reached for his bow, and realized Ellie took it. _Shit._ Clickers were easier to deal with. They were blind. Sneaking by them was easy. Runners, not so much. Not even a little girl could sneak by them. Throwing a bottle was just set them all off. Running all over the place. The whole time he was trying to figure out his next move, Annalisa rummaged through her backpack, and retrieved a nail bomb.

Before he could stop her, she hurled it into the middle of a cluster of them, and blasted them apart almost instantaneously. All the other runners charged towards the explosion, growling and groaning. Ah, now Joel got it. Once they all stopped, searching for what caused the explosion, he hurled a molotov at them, burning up four more. That alone had cut down the hoard by a third. However, they were now out of nail bombs and molotovs. Guns would have to do it, because he couldn't stealth kill them on his own. One shot, and their hiding place was compromised. He tried to consider the possibilities. Sneaking from cover to cover, and killing them one by one would never work. Their movement patterns were far too close knit. Once one saw them, they would swarm Joel and Annalisa.

The sound of an explosion not too far away rumbled through the air. Whatever it was, it helped lure away some runners, and gave them a window of opportunity to move up closer. They moved closer, hiding behind the wall further down, but had to retreat back to where they started. The runners untouched by a second explosion returned, with a whole lot more of them.

"What do you have in your backpack?" Joel whispered. He slipped his own off, to search for some supplies to craft something. Mostly nothing, other than a bag of sugar, and two pairs of scissors.

Annalisa's bag wasn't exactly overflowing on that front either. Bits of cloth, and a box of matches. The rest was food, and her little keepsakes.

"A whole lot of nothing," he muttered.


	14. How Many Infected?

Writing this chapter did take a while, but I hope it is worth it. 'Cause of life, and a new book to read. Thanks for the reviews, and all that. Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

 _How Many Infected?_

He wanted to shoot him. The kid had left them to die. Were Tess not resourceful enough to run for the shutters, the humvee could have killed them. Speaking of Tess, where was she? The last Joel saw of her, she jumped off the bridge with Ellie. He had woken up, got into a bit of a fight with Henry, and she was gone. They split up from Henry and Sam.

"Where is Tess?" Joel asked Ellie.

"She was awake when I came around," Ellie replied. "She went further down the beach."

Joel walked down the beach, ignoring the rusted rotten boat marooned on the sand. He found her sat on a rock at the very end of the beach, staring up at the stars. Quiet and a touch desolate. So very un-Tess like. He sat down on the sand. Unnoticed to them, Ellie crouched down near the surf, pretending not to listen.

"You alright?" Joel asked.

Tess nodded, breathing in the warm sea salt scented air. "I've felt worse." Her gaze lowered from the stars, down to her sand dusted hands. Moments before they had happened upon her, she had clawed her fingers through the sand just for something to do, other than think about the city she had left behind for a second time. She brushed her hands together, in a failed attempt to wipe the sand from them.

Joel reached over, took her hand, rubbed the sand from it with his own. Wiped the sand away on his pants—something would wash it off eventually. Did the same with her other hand. "This whole crusade will be over soon."

"I'm not so sure. Joel, I can't shake the feeling this is my last stop."

"Our luck ain't running out yet."

Tess, pulled her hand free from his, pointed a finger towards the bridge they had jumped from. "In there, we killed more men, than there were guns Marlene is prepared to pay us. Even if our luck holds out long enough, we are going to have pass through there to find our way back to Boston."

"Tess... this is just a job."

"Is it? You sure?"

"Guys," said Ellie, sitting down on the sand opposite them. "We're not going back are we?"

Joel looked to Tess, who had gotten lost in the view of the horizon once more. "Ellie—."

"We push on. Get this over with." Tess stood, breathed in that fresh sea salt air once more. "Moment of doubt over."

* * *

Joel moved from the cover of the low wall, to the next. He froze at the sound of a gunshot.

Something was firing at them from the window at the floor above. All the runners charged to the window, clawing at the boards. Joel saw his chance. Raising his el Diablo, looking through the scope, letting the head of three runners cross through the crosshairs, and each receive a bullet. Even though he was fully against it, Joel had no choice but to arm the kid with a shotgun—and a good job too. A runner charged towards them, and was blasted back with a single round. The spoils were a deactivated nail bomb, and a box of ammo for the El Diablo.

"Joel!" Annalisa called, throwing the ammo to him.

He caught it, reloaded. Annalisa covered him, by activating the nail bomb and hurled it at the worst cluster of the runners. The explosion wiped out four of them. Allowing them to move down onto the deck, and into the bar gazebo. There was another kid hiding down there. A ten year old Hispanic boy, with hazel eyes. Scattered around his feet were tin cans, bags of nails and broken blades. He had already made a few nail bombs. Annalisa giggled at the sight of him, and hugged him.

"Keep them bombs coming," Joel said, snatching up one of the bombs—the kid didn't object.

The three of them worked out an effective pattern of attack. The little boy, who was named MJ, had made half a dozen bombs already. Joel threw one to lure runners, and obliterated them. Annalisa handed him a bomb the moment he threw one, while MJ mixed up more. For a brief moment, as their supplies of bombs ran low, they thought they had finished off the last of the runners, more came, bringing with them a whole pack of clickers.

"Kids, in the lodge," Joel told them.

MJ slipped all the bombs into his backpack, slung it over his back. The three of them ran to the side of the large house. The gates were locked. Joel noticed a small window. Told the kids to climb down, and find somewhere safe to hide. He pulled a dumpster towards it, to block it off; had to stop, and kill a clicker with the El Diablo. Inside, MJ and Annalisa ran up the stairs, into a beaten up abandoned restaurant of sorts. Saw a giant hole in the roof. Annalisa grabbed a bomb from MJ's backpack, and threw it up and out the lodge. The explosion both killed two runners and a clicker, as well as got most of the infected off Joel's back.

Joel pulled the second dumpster into place. He run around the house, climbed up and over the wall into the restaurant with the kids. The three of them ran out through the doors, around the bar. The windows were blocked off by furniture. Everything blocking the stairwell was gone. They could have run upstairs, but it would cut off any chance of escape. Or thin out the hoard of infected. None had gotten inside yet. Going up there would be creating an issue where there was none.

The three of them ran towards the lobby. They heard the voice of a man ahead, talking to someone else. Joel ducked behind the bar, and the kids followed him.

* * *

A dank disgusting grungy sewer pipe stretched on ahead of them, and the smell was like death. Nose wrinkling, stomach wrenchingly repulsive. It made the tunnel back in the zone smell like air freshener compared to this.

"How did you all end up meeting, anyway?" asked Henry.

"We go way back," Joel muttered. Sooner this job was over the better.

"Oh, you're married?" Henry muttered, sounding more like a stab in the dark question than a statement of fact.

He received from both Tess and Joel a simultaneous "No."

"Oh, right. Who is these days," Henry replied. "But, you are together? Traveling with your daughter, right?"

"Okay, Henry?" said Tess, moving a little closer as they came to a stop at a fork in the tunnel. "Joel and I; we're not married, together, or any other stuff you want to throw around. Ellie, not our kid."

Further back, Sam and Ellie had already filled each other in on where they were from. Sam had told her about Hartford, and that the other members of their group are probably dead. Ellie mentioned Marlene. Unsurprisingly the kids were getting on with each other, than the adults. Each one focused on their goals. For Henry, keeping his brother safe at all costs. Tess had to cling to the job, that after all her years of making bad choices, this might in some way redeem her. For Joel, well, he was surrounded by a kid he never wanted to be saddled with, a man who he didn't trust one bit, a partner who for a glimmer doubted her part in this, and a boy who was entirely innocent in this. He had to focus on the job, and the payment that came with it. Keep in the mindset of a smuggler. Do the job, trust no one until the payment is handed over, and ask no questions.

* * *

First a crack of a twig, stamping footsteps in the snow. A loud booming groan. Bursting through the trees, ripping a low branch off and tossing it aside, a big bloater came at them from one direction, and another from across the clearing.

"Fuck!" Ellie shouted. "Bloaters!" Probably not the best move, considering that it caught their attention.

"Run!" Josh hollered at her.

They ran as fast as they could, trying to put as much distance between them and the bloaters stomping after them. Clicking came from behind them. Could this get any worse? Apparently it could. A ski-lodge loomed ahead of them. The place swarming with infected. Ellie was low on ammo—most of it was spent ridding them of a pesky pack of runners further up the mountain. Even Josh wasn't accurate enough to shoot them and run.

They reached the doors of the ski-lodge, a Hispanic man with a soul patch pulled the door open, letting them slip in. He frantically tried to push a large china hutch in front of it. Josh threw his weight at the cabinet.

"Milo, where is MJ?" said Josh.

"Distracting them on the other side of the house," said Milo.

Ellie left them to block off the door, looking for somewhere to make a good sniper's nest, and thin the swarming pack of infected virtually bearing down on them. She let out a scream of alarm, as she charged around the bar and collided with an almost fifty surly old man stuck with babysitting two kids.

"JOEL!" said Ellie, clinging to him. For a moment back there, she feared the infected had killed or worse bitten him.

Joel gave her a one armed hug, relieved history hadn't repeated itself. "Take the kids upstairs. Keep them safe."

"Kids?" said Ellie, surprised.

Annalisa jumped out from behind the counter. "Me and MJ!"

The instant Joel released her, Ellie ran for the stairs, with the kids following her. Roars of infected were moving around to the other side of the house, away from them and towards the doors Milo and Josh were in the process of blocking off. Ellie had to come up with a plan fast, and it had to be good. Most of the walls were gone, possibly chopped down to provide lumber to board up the windows. Only one room was semi-intact on the far corner. The door mostly obscured, leaving only a crawl space for a child. MJ crossed the now open plan floor, slipped into the room.

"Awesome! All my supplies are here," MJ said. "Loads of ammo."

Ellie prepared her rifle. "Right, I'll shoot…"

Annalisa grabbed the gun from her. "I'll shoot!" she insisted.

"No, we don't have time to argue…" Ellie informed her, attempting to wrestle the gun away from the little girl half her age.

Annalisa pulled the gun away from her, flung it into the crawl space, and headed in after it.

Attempting to crawl in after her would waste time they didn't have. Ellie had no choice but to let Annalisa handle the rifle.

"MJ, what supplies do you have?" said Ellie.

"Nail bombs. Stuff to make 'em. Got some stuff to mix up molotovs, but..."

"Keep them coming," Ellie told him.

* * *

"Bloaters?!" said Milo, shooting Josh a glance that implied _dude, seriously?_ "That isn't funny, bro."

"I'm serious…" Josh turned away from the door. "I have to get to my daughter. She is upstairs, and I need to protect her."

Joel shoved a gun into his hands. Pulled the gasmask from his rucksack. "So is mine. The kids are fine. Best place is here, making sure none of those things get to 'em."

Getting his gasmask seemed to be the best idea. The bloaters had reached the ski-lodge, and begun hurling pollen sacks through the gaps in the first floor boarded up windows. All three of the men had to put on a gasmask. Found a vantage point. Milo volunteered to lure them back around the house. Apparently there was a snowmobile around there, that would create a good distraction. His exact words were, "That snowmobile around that back… she'll look beautiful in flames. I'll distract them."

Before he could move, something flew out the window upstairs, and collided with one of the bloaters' head, exploding. The big fat thing stumbled, giving Joel a chance to shoot it with the El Diablo. Josh took a shot at the other. The noise was enough to give Milo a good head start. One bloater was felled by the shot of a gun coming from upstairs. Joel focused his shots on clickers and runners.

The sound of a mighty boom shattered the air. By the sounds of it, more than just a snowmobile had gone up in the explosion. Smoke choked the air at the back of the lodge. All the infected ran towards it, followed by many screams, and they fell silent. Joel ran towards the rear of the house, hoping that nothing had happened to the kids. He stopped to look out the window. Most of the infected were dead. Caught up in some explosion. Milo stood near the bar.

"My bad…" he muttered. "I sorta forgot that I buried a car in the snow…" Considering the fact that he was sort of apologising for a 'screw up' he looked pretty pleased with himself. Extremely proud of a job well done.

"It did the job," said Joel, shrugging.

"GUYS! GET UP HERE!" Ellie shouted.

Instinctively, Joel charged up the stairs. There were four clickers between him and Ellie. The younger ones were nowhere to be seen. Ellie was frantically trying to squeeze herself into a crawl space of a room in the far corner. A nail bomb flew out the single room, landing in the middle of the pack of clickers. Joel dashed back down the stairs, to avoid the explosion that killed three of the infected. The last ran towards Joel, following the sound of his hurried footsteps.

He came to a stop at the bottom, turned around and shot at it. Another shot came from above, finishing it off. Everything was silent. Nothing moved, aside from the group gathering in the lobby. The younger ones were tasked with gathering any supplies they could find. Ellie insisted on helping the men collect the bodies of the dead infected, dragged them out the lodge and piled them up in a heap. Joel stayed out in the cold, went inside to keep warm and prepare food. He looked in through the window, watching them laugh and talk.

Sitting with them was something he couldn't do. Being alone out in the cold suited him. Focusing on burning the bodies of the infected, standing in the warm glow of the fire. He saw _her_ stood near the fire, holding up her hands in an attempt to warm them. A redundant gesture, as she was imaginary.

"Why does she remind me of you?" Joel muttered.

"The kid?" Tess replied. "Joel, think on that one. For the last ten years of my life, we never spent more than a day apart. My last day, you were there for every minute of it. How could I have met her without you knowing?"

"I didn't think that through," Joel admitted.

"I got that, loud and clear."

* * *

Sitting in the lodge, away from the bitter icy cold was better than the alternative. Ellie wanted to go out and help Joel, but he seemed like he wanted to be alone. Focus something other than the obvious divide between them. Since they had met Annalisa, Joel had changed again. Run to her side whether she needed the help or not, as if he were desperate to stop some impending doom.

"What is wrong with the old guy?" Milo asked, stoking the fire with a poker.

"He just likes to be alone," said Ellie, trying to be as vague as possible.

For a while, she watched Annalisa and MJ play their games. Their respective fathers had given them a pistol each—minus the ammo clip of course. Annalisa crept around. Stood with her back flat against the wall, waiting. Listening for MJ to creep by. As soon as she got close, she would point the gun at him and shout "YOU'RE DEAD!" They talked and pretend shot each other for ten minutes, until Annalisa came running to the adults, crying that MJ had thrown a tin can at her. Josh gave her a hug to calm her down, and dry away her tears with his sleeve.

"Anna," said Milo, checking a nearby can. Deemed it empty and mostly clean. He handed the can over. "Here, get him back."

Annalisa perked up. Taking the can. She tossed it across the room, shouting, "Oh, MJ!"

A groan of pain coming from across the room announced the can had found its mark. To avoid the revenge hit, Annalisa ran away from the fireplace, to find somewhere to hide.

"You actually let someone hurt your son?" asked Ellie, seriously doubting Milo's skills as a parent.

"A can won't do him any harm," Milo insisted. "They're just playing."

For a moment, Ellie considered telling them her suspicions. Ask for their advice. Both of them had lived during Joel's time. Known what it was like to live a normal life, and lose it all having to cling to the people they loved to survive. Not everyone they knew could be alive, that was the world they lived in now.

"Josh, Milo… I need some advice," said Ellie, deciding to just go for it.


	15. Insanity, Perhaps?

I know there has been a little while since the last up date, but I really did need the break. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. The first half of this chapter might be a little confusing, but all will sort of come clear as it goes on. Thanks to readers and reviewers, and all that.

The next update for this story won't be as soon as I have been updating in the past. This is becase I have a list of one-shots that I want to focus on, and it seems to be getting longer and longer. I hope to update after two or three of them, but I might also just write all the one-shots before returning to this. We'll see what happens.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

 _Insanity, Perhaps?_

 _"_ _JOEL! JOEL! PLEASE… Joel… don't…"_

Everything seemed so distant. Dark and endless, like at the very bottom of the deepest darkest pit. Staring into the abyss, and the abyss staring right back. Voices carried away on a gust of wind—a fierce gale created only to carry away the words before they were heard.

Head splitting as if hit with a pickaxes.

Limbs heavy as lead.

Cold… nothing but a numbing coldness. From the outside spreading in.

BANG! The sound of a gunshot shattered the air.

* * *

Soft mattress and heavy warm quilts. The smell of… nothing. The air smelled of absolutely nothing at all. Not a dry musty rot, or stagnant air. Sounds of traffic from outside. This was light and slow moving. Not like the thunderous sound of as good as a tank on four wheels. He actually awoke on his own accord, not by the sounds of Ellie frantically shaking him awake to escape infected or worse, or even the sound of a butterfly's wings disturbing him due to a constant on guard caused restlessness.

Joel sat up in bed, threw the quilt off him. Were quilts always that heavy? Well, it had been over two decades since he slept under a proper one. Groaning and yawning he climbed out of bed, crossed the very dark room on autopilot. He knew where he was going. Searching for a light would waste time. He flung open the curtains, and was met by the dawn shrouded view of Austin, Texas from his bedroom window.

"What the hell?" Joel muttered. He spun around on the spot. Oh, yeah. This was real.

Maybe.

Everything in his room, from the exercise bike, to the TV on the dresser. Even the painting above his bed of the winter forest scene he always liked.

"This ain't real," he told himself. This exact room didn't exist anymore. Tommy had told him so. It was gone, looters pillaged it until there weren't much worth taking, and even then, they took most of that too.

Maybe this was some sort of purgatory. Or hell. Just sit in his old room for all of eternity, knowing he would never see anyone he cared about ever again. He had to try it. Joel crossed the room, expecting to see a whole lot of fire and brimstone. Or maybe a red guy with horns, hooves and a pitchfork. Instead, he saw the dark hallway. Alright, could be just a empty house. Torture him with that. A place filled with his happiest memories, knowing they will never happen again. That would be a fitting punishment. How many lives did he take? Seemed right this should be his eternal suffering place.

He walked down the hall. Bathroom to the right, Sarah's bedroom to the left. That was it. The place of suffering. To make him feel the worst of himself had to be in her room. What would he find in there? An empty room? Go inside, and the door would lock or disappear all together. Joel opened the door, and saw something worse than nothing.

All the makings of a sleepover. An empty pizza box on the floor. Numerous soda cans. Scattered DVD and CD cases. The TV still on. Both Ellie and Sarah asleep. Lamps still on. Both daughters. Neither should be alive at the same time. Sarah should be in her thirties, not twelve years old, as if the horrors of that day never happened. Both of them were friends, obviously. Or maybe Ellie lived here now? Joel just couldn't figure it out. Whoever wanted to hurt him was doing a pretty good job of it.

So, he was back in his old house, Ellie and Sarah were there. Alright, so this wasn't a massive nightmare. Unless Sarah and Ellie weren't supposed to wake up?

"Alright, I give up," Joel muttered. Whatever was going on, it was beyond him. "It is what it is."

Joel walked down the hall, looked down the stairs. Just stairs, right? Right?

* * *

"He'll be fine…" In a much quieter tone followed, "I hope…"

"No… will…"

Words were getting harder to decipher. All the senses were fading. Sight. Sound. Taste. Soon… NO! Not yet.

"Joel… wake… know…"

Something was moving. But what? What was happening? When? Questions, but lacking the ability to ask them.

"Please…"

Who was even speaking? They all sounded the same. How many were there, again? Ellie. Anne, or was that just part of her name? Joel couldn't quite remember any more. Then there was her father, Joe, Jack, James? It had to be one of those. Then there was the other two, whose names almost lost him entirely.

"Sorry…"

"Not… help."

"Endure… you… survive!"

* * *

Everything neat, and in its place. Well, as neat as it could get for a twelve year old girl who barely knew how to clean, and a man who was too focused on working to give a shit about picking up the vacuum. He hesitated at the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen. Heavy steps, clinking of glass, rummaging around for something. Couldn't be infected. If Sarah was alive, no infected. He hurried into the kitchen, ready to kill the intruder. He stopped, staring at her.

Okay, this seriously wasn't right. If this was real, maybe he could have deluded himself a friend of Sarah's was Ellie. Alright, that was believable. In a way. This…

"Tess, what are you doing?" Joel asked. He said them almost against his will. Not words he wanted to say, but they came out of his mouth anyway.

Tess stumbled, trying to find the bottle opener. A drunken swagger in her step. "Seriously, Joel? I almost trip over on the way in, and this wakes you up?"

"What the hell are you doing staggering around drunk at this time in the morning?"

At last, she found the bottle opener. It was a magnet on the refrigerator. She had looked everywhere else but there. "You want one?" she asked, retrieving a bottle of beer.

"No," he said, turning away. "I don't. Want one." Why did this feel like déjà vu? Oh, right. One of the numerous times they had decided to keep some of the liquor for themselves. Tess's brain seemed to shut off, and he became the surly sober, even though he matched her drink for drink. "Why are you drinking alone?"

"I didn't want to wake Henry."

What the hell?!

If Joel could have said those words, he would have. Something weren't right, and that wasn't just being in a place that didn't exist anymore.

The front door burst open, letting in a fierce cyclone of gusting winds. It touched nothing, and disturbed nothing. He heard nothing but his name being said over and over. His own voice calling him. The cyclone stopped, taking shape of a man. Joel looked into the forming man, and found himself looking at himself. A much younger self, whose greatest problems were the hitting traffic first thing in the morning, or not getting Sarah to school on time. Younger-Joel stared at him. Haunting, and unblinking.

Joel looked to Tess. She was still as a statue. Not even a stray hair moving. Stuck, popping the lid off a beer bottle with the opener.

"Mind telling me what the hell is going on?" Joel demanded. "Am I dead?"

"No. Not one bit," Younger-Joel replied.

"Insane?"

"Maybe. You've been up to a whole lot of crazy stuff lately."

"What is all this? Sarah. Ellie. Henry. Probably Sam, too. And Tess…" He glanced to her, expecting her to fade away or fly out of here in a cyclone or something.

Younger-Joel gave no answers. Why would he? Joel himself wouldn't. They were both the same person. Shutting people out, and keeping secrets was what they did. If he wanted out of this hell, he had to figure it out by himself. Until then, Younger-Joel made himself comfortable on the couch, watching TV.

He was in his old house, and people he had known and were dead haunted the place. Except Ellie. As far as he knew, Ellie was very much alive.

 _Beep… beep… beep…_

Constant beeping sound, that was almost maddening. Heck, it was maddening. Joel moved through the house, drying to get away from the damn sound, but it stayed with him. Where ever he moved, just a few feet away from his ears. Only thing for it was to run to the door. He pulled the door open.

Light flooded into his eyes. Blinding him.

* * *

Joel's eyes flicked open. Unable to move. Limbs heavy. Someone nearby. He couldn't see her, but he knew she was there. She'd follow him to hell and back, and various times in their travels, they did exactly that.

Ellie jumped up from her seat, ecstatic to see him awake. She wanted to cry or squeal with delight. For a while back there, it was touch and go whether he would make it.

"Joel, don't try to move. You've been out a couple of days."

He didn't listen. That constant beeping had to go. He made sure of it. Pulling all the wires and tubes off himself. He was fine—hungry and very thirsty, but fine enough not to need them anymore.

"What happened?" Joel croaked.

"Don't you remember?" Ellie replied. His blank stare gave him the answer. "Okay. A whole lot of stuff. We thought you were dead. Turns out Josh knows all this medic stuff, to bring you back. They all had to leave in a hurry. I wouldn't leave you." There was more to that story than she was telling, but Joel didn't want to push it.

He was in no state to push it either. After getting some food and plenty of water, he insisted on getting dressed, and "get the hell out of here" as he put it. That enthusiasm lasted about eight steps down the corridor, before he collapsed on a gurney, and had to stay there for a while. He figured they were in a hospital. How they got there was a blank, and Ellie wasn't exactly forthcoming. All Ellie would tell him, was that they now had a car, plenty of supplies, and the means to get as far away from Colorado as possible.

* * *

Days flickered by, since he woke up from a sort of coma, without a clue to how he had got there. They drove away from Colorado in the black pickup truck, and were glad to be rid of it. They had some good memories there—some of which, Joel couldn't remember, but mostly bad ones.

"We are to completely avoid cars with either "Milo" or "Boom, baby" painted on the hood," Ellie told Joel, as the car pulled off onto a highway.

"Milo tell ya that?" Joel asked, focusing on the road.

"Yep. When he gave me the keys to the car."

"Are you ever planning on telling me what happened that day?"

"Not yet. Joel, I was really scared I'd lose you. Josh and Annalisa said I'd be welcome at Salem, but I just couldn't picture it. Not a life where you're dead, just like everyone else I've ever cared about."

"Alright, keep your secrets. Are you wanting to go to Salem?"

"Maybe. One day. There is something I want to do first. Joel, I always felt like shit, the way I left things with Riley. Back then, I didn't know anything about infected. I just ran. Left her there. Riley might still be alive. Well, as alive as infected get. I want to go back to that mall, find her, and if she is still around… let her suffering end."

"We can do that."

"I need you to do something for me, Joel. Before the end, we had the option to shoot each other, and didn't take it. I couldn't shoot her…"

"I'll fire the shot," Joel insisted. "You just find her, I'll do the rest."

* * *

Two kids that couldn't swim, and no way across. Somehow a car had found its way down into the sewer, submerged in the water. No way to cross, and a generator on the other side of the pool, far out of their reach. Tess tried to turn the rusty old valve in an attempt to make something appear to help them get across, but the thing wouldn't budge.

"No good," she muttered.

"I think something is blocking it," Joel replied, looking into the mostly dank water.

He jumped into the water. Surfaced. Gulped back as much air as his lungs would hold. Dove under water once more. From the surface, he looked like a blur flailing around near the wall in the corner. He wrenched a pipe that was wedged pretty tight between the big metal grate and the wall. Surfaced. Gulped in the semi-fresh air—okay, it stunk of waste and mold water, but air was air.

"Tess," Joel said.

"I know," she replied. "I'll keep look out. If you find a way out down there, I'll support Ellie, as we swim down to meet you." She turned to Henry. "You do the same with Sam."

Henry turned the valve, allowing Joel to swim further into the sewers, while Tess walked up the steps, to take her position as guard facing the very passage way they had come down. Sam followed her up, mostly because he didn't want to stand there staring into water. The other reason was that she reminded him of the heroine in a comic book he read once.

"Stay out my way, kid. You can stick around up here, I just don't want to hit you by mistake," said Tess, as he approached.

"I won't. Henry is always telling me to get behind him, when a fight breaks out. I want to help."

"I don't know what you can do, unless you have a gun on you?"

Sam shook his head. "Henry took it. He doesn't want me having a gun…"

Sounds of clickers and gunshots reached them, from the tunnel Joel had swam down.

* * *

The car died out near a corn field in Indiana. They were lucky to get that far. Joel had to admit, were it not for whatever work Milo and MJ had done on the engine, they probably would have never gotten further than Kansas. Ellie searched through their supplies. Spread the necessities between her own and Joel's backpacks. She was surprised to see he had still kept hold of Tess's list. Joel stood away from her, his back facing her direction. His sleeved rolled up, tracing his finger from the bandana to the watch.

Tess and Sarah; why had they appeared to him in that dream? Why together, and why in his old home? So many whys, and no answers for them. Hidden in those questions, Joel had to face the very real possibility that they served to tell him something. Maybe he was standing too close to see the bigger picture.

"I got everything worth carrying," Ellie announced.

The few remaining items in the back of the truck were car parts, that were no use to them now. Joel donned his backpack.

"We should figure out where we are," Joel decided. _Ask her,_ he thought to himself.

Many times Joel had wanted to ask her the events that lead up to him waking up in a hospital bed wired up to a machine, but Ellie wasn't exactly forthcoming. She was just as cagy on the subject, as he was on the events of Salt Lake hospital.

"Okay," Ellie replied.

They walked down the empty road. In a foreboding fashion, they saw no cars littering the roads. Everywhere they had gone, there were rusted out wrecks of cars just abandoned. The owners either dead, or had to abandon it for their own safety.

"Something ain't right," Joel muttered.

Ellie glanced into the endless rows of corn. She felt it too. That prickling uneasy feeling, knowing someone is there watching. "Yeah. Something is out there. Run?"

"No."

"Standing will get us shot, and we can't exactly run into the corn, in case it is in there waiting for us."

She had a point. There was no shelter or cover. Anything could be ready to pounce. People, infected, even wild animals. Something thundered towards them, ripping through the corn. All they could do, was stare at each other bewildered. Pulled out a gun, and saw a horse tear out onto the road. Rear up, kicking his front legs. The horse was a cream color stallion. Handsome, that was for sure. Then the sounds of gunshots followed, and the shouts of men planning to kill the horse for food. The stallion was wearing a saddle.

Joel moved slowly towards the horse. The stallion trusted him the instant Joel and Ellie put away their guns. Both mounted the horse, and tore off down the road, leaving the horse hunting men behind.


	16. Is It Too Late?

Hey all! Yep, this story is back. I know I took a while updating there. This chapter has happened slowly, adding bits here and there. A whole lot of stuff has prevented me from writing this. Now, I feel I can return to it again. Thank you to all who have been patient with me, and showed interest in this story. That being said, onto chapter related stuff...

This chapter is focusing more on Ellie, and her thoughts. Going back in time, to just before the events of the last chapter. Bridging the gaps, and showing what Ellie was hiding. I do plan for it to be a two parter, but it might end up being more. A lot happened while Joel was in his coma, dreaming of all who he had lost, in his old house.

Enjoy!

 **+Note to Readers;** Even though I am usually thorough with my proof reading, this chapter might still have some errors or typos. At the time of this getting published, I have a huge head ache, and my brain just doesn't focus on mistakes any more. Once my headache subsides, I will re-proof read, and fix them. Sorry for the incovenience, and I hope it doesn't take away your enjoyment.

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

 _Is It Too Late?_

Feeling groggy, with a crick in his neck, and an ache in his back, walking up a mountain was hardly something Joel was looking forward to. He hadn't slept well. Not the night of the One Thousand Infected—as Ellie referred to it—or even for three nights that followed, where they chose to stay in the lodge to avoid a fierce snow storm. He let the group walk a head. To be fair, Josh and Milo knew the way better, and MJ had a map. The only one who seemed to cross over from one group to the other was Annalisa, who skipped around the trees. When she found any supplies, and there were plenty to be found, she made sure everyone had an equal amount. She skipped over to Ellie, and presented her with a health kit.

"Thank you," Ellie replied, stuffing the kit in her backpack. She waited until the golden haired little girl had skipped away with a smile on her little face. "Joel, you alright?"

"I'm fine," Joel dismissed.

"You've mumbled in your sleep a lot. Are the nightmares back?" She reached over and touched his arm in a gesture of concern.

"Yes." He couldn't lie to Ellie. She knew him as well as he knew himself. To be fair, he had lied enough already to last a life time.

"About Sarah?"

"Yes," he muttered, touching his forearm where the bandana lay hidden beneath the sleeve of his jacket. Maybe one tiny lie couldn't hurt. To be fair, he was doing a good thing, as he had to tell himself.

Should he tell the truth that every time he closed his eyes for a rest, he saw Tess's face as she pulled back the collar of her shirt. The shots she fired to buy them some time. Her cry of pain, as the military had snuffed out her life. Saw her lifeless body laying on the floor of the capital building. He should have gone back. Grabbed her arm, and dragged her away. Unlikely, but she could have been immune too. There was proof of Ellie's condition not being unique, and that particular person of evidence skipped towards him and presented him with an arrow she had just found wedged into a tree. Maybe he could have convinced Tess to stay with them a little while longer. Hope they reached Lincoln at least. Maybe not the town, but the forest…

"Joel?" His name was said two more times before he even realized Ellie was talking to him. "We're stopping for a while."

Joel nodded his head, sat on the solid ground beneath a tree. Close enough to the campfire to get the benefit of it, but not close enough to be engaged in conversation. He wanted to be left alone with his thoughts. To the others, he appeared to be having a staring contest with a tree, but in his mind he was watching those final moments when he had to leave Tess behind. They blurred together with that last night he had with Sarah. Both part of his life for a long time, and in their own way, filled a void in his life, only to leave a much bigger one when they left him. How many times could he close off to the world, and still come back from it? Each time there was someone to indirectly push him in the right direction. All those years ago, Tommy was a shitty brother. Were he any different, Joel may never have met Tess in the same way. If both himself and Tess weren't shitty people, he certainly never would have met Ellie. Who was left for him now? Yet again, he had turned his back on the one chance to lead a semi-normal life.

Jackson had its good points, he had to admit that. Work when he needed it. Patrols on the wall to let his mind wander. A house where he could lock the door at the end of the day, put on the TV and watch a movie. Granted the quality was pretty bad, and power had to be rationed out during those brief moments the power plant was functioning. It was normal. Ellie had her space, and he had his.

"Mind if I join you?" Ellie asked.

Joel blinked. Decided she wasn't a figure of his imagination, and gestured to the tree he appeared to be having a staring contest with.

"I ain't much company right now," Joel told her.

"That is okay," Ellie replied, removing the cassette tape recorder from her backpack. "I wanted to hear Riley's voice again. I really miss her, Joel."

"I bet you do."

Ellie detangled the wire of the earbuds. "Josh thinks I'm your daughter. Did you tell him that?"

Joel nodded. "I did. He was panicking over Annalisa. I said it. I weren't lying. After everything we been through, you're as much my daughter as Sarah is."

"Oh…" Ellie needed a moment to think that through. Joel as her father? Could she live with that? She never really had a father before. Her basis for comparison was almost non-existent. All she knew of parents was what she had seen of the families in Jackson, and how Milo and Josh were with their respective children. After everything that happened, he was always there. No wedge was too big to drive them apart. Yes. That would do. Joel was her father. "I'm not calling you Dad, or anything like that."

"Fine by me."

Ellie slipped the earbuds into her ears, closed her eyes, and let Riley's voice wash over her. Not listening to the actual words she was saying, just the sound of her voice. If only she could talk to her again. Actual words, said outside her own head. Talk about Angel Knives, her crappy taste in music, Raja's Arcade… the merry-go-round…

* * *

"We could run away." Those words were drowned out by the music of the merry-go-round. Uttered by one girl, then the other.

Young and innocent. Believing it was just that easy. Just wishing all their problems could be solved by walking away from the military school. Escape to the quarantine zone. Up and down, whirl around… around and around, until it came to a stop. They climbed down off the thing, to sit on the grass.

"Why don't we run away?" said Riley.

"Just like that?" Ellie asked. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere. Get out of Boston. Maybe we could go to L.A. like we always planned."

"How would we even get out of the zone? The military are everywhere."

Riley shrugged. "Get some smugglers to help. I heard whispers of two smugglers—I think they are together or something—who will do just about anything as long as the pay is good."

"Okay, that could work. But, how do we get enough cards to make the deal worth it?"

Riley went quiet. Lowering he had. Could she risk it? Either way, they were together. Granted that _together_ would be in death. Still, had to count for something. Right? "The fireflies have a whole chest of them. They're just sitting there. No one touches them. Not like ration cards will be any good where they're going. One guy has this plan to just leave them there, and hope someone finds them before the military do. We could sneak in, and take them. Even if we want to stay, we could live a good life."

"Let's do it," Ellie said, confident with her decision.

* * *

Trudging along in the snow was heavy going for a while. The mountain slanting upwards, and the slippery snow did nothing to help them. The little kids ran ahead, playing with each other. Throwing snowballs, pretending to shoot each other with guns—the ammo clips removed, and carried by their respective fathers, who watched them play.

Joel was characteristically silent. Ellie had expected as much. Their little adventure had gotten off to a rocky start. Everything went well for a while, but now, Joel was carrying something, and Ellie could sense it. How could she not?

"Ellie, I need to get something off my chest. Keeping it to myself ain't helping anymore."

"Okay," said Ellie, nodding. "Whatever it is, Joel, you know you can tell me."

"Alright… I lived hell for a long time. I lost everything, twice."

Joel unburdened himself. Telling her everything. From the moment she slipped off the bus into the water, to the moment she woke up in the back of that car with more questions than he was willing to answer. His words were whispered only to her, and the others in their little traveling company never heard them. Each word was hard to say, and to hear. No detail omitted. Every tiny microscopic detail, to exactly how many fireflies he had to kill to get to her. Even Marlene's reasoning.

Ellie took it surprisingly well. Well, she didn't cuss him out and put a bullet in him, so that was a start. "Marlene really said that? She thought the only future I could have was getting torn apart by clickers, or raped and murdered?" Everything lined up. Why he had to lie to her. Why it didn't feel right. Why Marlene never came looking for her. Riley's message from the cassette tape. Even Annalisa surviving. Their journey couldn't be for nothing, and it wasn't. The end was something she had never anticipated.

Everything that happened was for a reason. She had to face such horrible things to motivate herself to get there, not to be a cure, but to allow Joel to see them for the evil people they were and kill them before more little children were forced away from their homes. The people of Salem had a cure—well, as good as. Even Annalisa had said so, when talking about one of the infamous Tessas. This Tessa shared her blood, and was quiet possibly still alive. Blood was the answer. Vaccines didn't always work. She was told that. Everyone needed blood to live. Marlene just wanted to cut her brain out, and lied. She had to have known about Salem. Milo, Josh, MJ and Annalisa had gone on the run to get away from the fireflies.

"Okay," said Ellie, nodding.

"Ellie, I know I've done terrible things—."

"Joel! I mean; okay. I understand." She faced him, her hands landing on his forearm. Unknowingly cupping a wrinkle of the concealed bandana. "You get this one. Look how many people have lost everything because of Marlene. They have been in hiding for two years, just because of Marlene, to protect Annalisa." She tilted her head towards the others, then returned her gaze to Joel. "You lost everything. Your home in Boston. Your livelihood. Tess. Everything. All the people who died, because she fed me with false hope. Sam, Henry, a fuck load of people between Boston and Salt Lake."

Joel wanted to cry. How could she forgive him so easily?

"Keep up," Josh called from ahead.

* * *

Just run away... the thought was lovely. Could never happen, not even if she willed it enough. There was no getting off this merry-go-round. Not for Riley. Not for Ellie either. Round and round, she rode the horse. More passengers joined, and never got off. Sam, telling jokes and calling to Henry on the next horse. Tess… she was a strange one. In the two years she rode that particular merry-go-round, she never once mounted a horse. Stood, clinging to a pole, staring out into the overgrown grounds beyond its twirling borders.

"Tess?" Ellie called to her. "Will you help us?"

All she could see, was a look of defeat on her face. Bruising around her eye. Scars and bruises scattered down her arms. The collar of her shirt always fell in a way that showed that mark on her shoulder. Bitten, but never turned. Gone before the cordyceps could take her. Taken before Ellie could really get to know her.

Always a passenger, to remind Ellie of what she had stolen.

* * *

They had made camp for the night. More beat up cars littered the forest. Strange, how so many people had attempted to flee in cars, and just abandoned them. In this grove, was a van that Milo, Josh and the kids claimed, and a two door car.

Ellie was first to volunteer to keep watch, but was shot down by Joel. Not easily dissuaded, she pretended to go to sleep in the car, waited until he settled himself down, rested his back against the trunk of the tree, and went into guard mode. She had to be careful—his hearing was like a bat, when it mattered. Slowly and stepping carefully, she made her way further and further away, moving a little down the trail. No one would think to look back. She wasn't running away, she just needed time to herself. To sit down on a fallen tree branch, and look up at the stars.

"Okay, Tess… if you're out there," she muttered. This was fucking dumb. How would talking to the stars help? It might work for Annalisa, but Ellie was like twice that kids' age. Or maybe, she wasn't giving it a chance. "I wish I could actually talk to you…"

"You can." That voice came outside her head, at least, she thought so.

Ellie jumped up, pulled out her pistol, pointing it at a nearby oak tree. She froze. Her eyes widened. Tess stood there right in front of her, not a lingering thought. Actually there to talk to. Pink tattered shirt, black pants and all. So fucking real looking, Ellie expected Tess to reach out and grab her wrist, again.

"What the fuck?" is all Ellie could manage to say. She had imagined Riley a whole bunch of times, even less now Ellie could hear her voice whenever she wanted.

Lowering her gun, Ellie watched the apparition of Tess, waiting for some sign that she was crazy or perhaps this was a dream. Yes, that had to be it. Ellie never did leave that car. She dreamt it.

"You're not dreaming," Tess replied.

"Then how are you here? You're dead."

"I'm aware of that fact. You wanted to talk?"

She did. "Joel told me some stuff, and I don't really know how to deal with it. I told him I'm fine with it, but this thought in the back of my head… Tess, how do you just move on?"

"You forget," Tess replied. "Or let them off the merry-go-round."

 _"_ _Let them off the merry-go-round."_ Ellie found herself thinking that exact sentence all the way back to their camp.

While they packed what little supplies were used, and made their way further up the trail, that same thought haunted her. Taunted her. Could she let them just leave the one thought that had stayed with her the longest?

Marlene was yet to join them. Why hadn't she boarded the merry-go-round the moment Joel told her she was dead?

A hand landed on her shoulder, wrenching her from those thoughts.

"You alright, Kiddo?" Joel. It had to be Joel.

"Yeah," Ellie replied.

She had to let him think she had completely moved on.

Somehow Ellie and Joel were leading their group. Annalisa skipping a couple of feet behind them. Mischief on his mind, MJ prepared a tin can. The instant it left his fingers, he realised it was a mistake. Joel just stepped on the frozen stream. Annalisa was right behind him. She let out a squeal, as the can collided with her head, knocking her off her balance. She collided with Joel.

Both of them slammed against the ice...

The force of the little child was just enough to send him sliding across the ice, with rocks to great him. His head slammed hard. Blood leaked onto the ice.

"JOEL! JOEL! PLEASE… Joel… don't…" Ellie screamed, hysterically. No, he couldn't be dead. Not now… Tears pouring from her eyes.

Milo had to restrain her arms, pulling them behind her back to stop her from running across the ice, and making matters worse. "The old guy will be alright…" Who was he kidding? He figured Joel had to be dead. Even Annalisa was barely moving.

Josh couldn't be restrained. His daughter couldn't be dead. He remained on the snow, desperate to reach her. His hand closed around her little arm, and pulled her off the ice. Cradling her in his arms, he sobbed, and begged her not to leave him. MJ dashed ahead, hearing footsteps thundering towards them. No time to flee; not enough people to stand and fight. How could they fight? Josh wouldn't let go of Annalisa for anything, and Ellie wouldn't leave Joel.

Or maybe there was time. Ellie wouldn't go willingly. Milo had to practically drag her kicking and almost screaming. She wouldn't dare bite him, in case she accidently turned him. Milo let his guard down for a moment, to make sure his son had followed. MJ remained close to Josh, who carried his daughter adamant he would get her to safety.

That was enough. She wrenched herself from Milo, ran back to Joel. Standing over him was that man. He looked too much like David.

"Get the fuck away from him!" Ellie shouted, firing her gun. The sound shattered the endless silence. A body fell on the ice, cracking it.

Milo came after her. "Ellie!" His hands shot up at surrender, as the aim of her gun fell on him. "Woah! Calm down… I did what I had to do, to save us."

"Help me save Joel," she shouted at him.


	17. What Happened Here?

This chapter is shorter than previous chapters. Mostly because a lot has happened in my life lately that has prevented me from writing. I also feel that writing any more than this would be dragging it out, and destroying quite a perfect ending point for both AUs and the "present."

In case you're all wondering "What happened to Joel? How did he get to the hospital?" and all that, I want to let you know I'm not abandoning that part of the story. I felt it best to carry on with the plot of the story, where Joel has no idea, and continue with the AUs. The whole plot with Ellie started to take a life of its own, to a point where I will be adding a supliment to this called " **Survivor's Guilt: Ellie's Revenge** " in the near future as a side story. Starting the next chapter, I will add a chapter of this, then a piece of Ellie's Revenge story.

Thank you to all readers, reviewers, and those that have favorited and alerted. Means a lot to me that you all enjoy my story. Now, on with the chapter!

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

 _What Happened Here?_

* * *

SPRING

* * *

The town of Lincoln certainly was a sight for sore eyes, not that they could see much of it. Victory, the horse they had saved in Indiana, needed water. The only one they could find that didn't come with a round of infected to fight off was a puddle in the middle of a road. It was much larger than most, where the road had cracked and caved in. The water pooled in it like a very mini-lake. Convenient for thirsty horses in much need of water.

"About the name," said Joel, leaning on a metal guard fence around the edge of the road.

"You hate it," said Ellie, rolling her eyes. Why did he always hate the names she picked?

"Not at all. I like it. Something positive. Why "Victory"? Ellie, we haven't won yet."

"As far as you know," said Ellie, glancing away from him. There was still more she hadn't told him about the events leading up to him waking up from a coma in hospital. Well, what could pass for one, considering his "doctor" had to run away fast to save his daughter.

"Alright, be all secretive," said Joel, shrugging it off.

Victory raised his head from drinking, his thirst quenched. Joel gave him a gentle pat. They mounted the horse, continued on their way.

Neither Joel or Ellie knew what to expect. Two years had passed, almost three in fact, since they saw it last. Bill wasn't exactly stable, and he could be dead for they knew. Victory lightly trotted down a quiet road littered with rusty old cars, and a barricade exploded in the middle. A barricade in the suburbs? Bill must have been busy after they left, clearing out that part of town swarming with infected.

* * *

Staring at each other through a hole in the door. Not what they expected. A big metal thing, that they didn't stand a chance of opening. All of them developing superpowers to do that didn't seem possible. Savage Starlight wasn't going to jump out of Ellie's comics, and she wasn't stupid enough to imagine so. Tess, Henry and Ellie on one side, Joel and Sam on the other. Some stupid trap, and Joel had walked right into it.

Tess didn't have to say a word. She left the others to do the whole talking part. She had been through much worse, and was still alive and killing. The sound of clickers reached them.

"Run!" she shouted.

They had no choice but to run, held back momentary with pleas from Henry to keep Sam safe. Before they parted however, Tess threw a health pack through the gap in the door, following after Henry and Ellie. Joel was a little hopeless when it came to his own health. If she didn't bother to make them, he probably wouldn't.

* * *

Further down the street and nothing at all. Joel couldn't be sure what worried him most; no infected, no traps, destroyed barricade, or that Victory was entirely calm. Not a startled or scared neigh or whinny out of him. Out of all places, they found themselves heading into Frank's old house. Victory was content in the garage, and it didn't take long for them to rip up some of the grass from the overgrown front lawn for him to eat.

Frank's body was gone, and they were glad for that. Making house with a corpse wasn't part of the plan. Joel suspected the grave outside of town, near the sign that had a hardly welcoming message painted over it, had something to do with that. It practically had Bill's name written all over it. He just hoped that it wasn't Bill pushing up daisies under it.

"What happened here? This is creepy as hell," said Ellie. She asked the question knowing that Joel was just as oblivious as Ellie.

"What ever happened, we'll find out in the morning. You rest up, I'll have first watch."

"Alright," Ellie replied.

She went swiftly off to sleep on the beaten old mattress in the other room. Sometime after midnight, they got some aspect of an answer to their many questions. Joel had pulled a chair up to the window, with a double barrel shotgun and a couple of molotovs for company, he watched. Waiting. Not a single light on in the house, and only the moon to light up the silent street.

A man walked up the street followed by a woman. They whistled a tune in perfect harmony. The woman stopped, looked to the house opposite.

"Someone out there?" she said, in a cruel taunting tone. As if she were a spiteful cat searching for a moth, ready to pounce up and grab it out the air in strong paws with unsheathed claws. Sadistically taunting it. Mouth hovering over it, as the bug tries to get away. Then… bam! The cat has a moth treat to nibble on. That was her style. _"Come out and play."_

Joel lowered himself to the ground, straining his ears to listen to their every word.

"Nothing out there, Stacy. We ain't seen the old guy in days," the man told her.

"Still, Dave, something ain't right. You can't deny that."

"Alright, yeah, I admit it. Something is off. Whatever it is, we got to get back to the school. Meet the others."

Stacy and Dave's silhouette walked down the street and out of sight.

What they looked like, well… Joel couldn't pick them out of a line up. Their words however, struck a chord with him. He scratched his chin. "The school, huh?"

* * *

A warning on the outside. Who would have fucking believed it? Not a little sign near the drainpipe they had to climb through, and the shit colored dirty water they had to wade through. Painted there on the wall, as if it was any kind of help.

"Thanks for the warning," said Ellie, sarcastically.

"Could have been worse," said Tess, dismissing the events that had happened.

"Unless there is a pack of clickers up ahead, I don't see how it could be worse," Ellie commented.

Henry and Sam had walked ahead, talking about something. Probably asking if the other was alright. Joel was doing his little loner sulk act. Slightly hunched over, gaze straight ahead. Exuding an aura of _leave me the fuck alone_.

Tess turned to Ellie. "Could have been entirely blocked off, with a bloater to fight off."

Ellie shuddered at the thought of that almost forgotten bloater. Even with Tess, Joel and Bill shooting at it, it was still scary.

Tess quickened her pace, to match Joel's. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Joel replied. "How you holding up?"

"Well, I'm not dead. Yet." She held out her hand, indicating for Ellie to walk between them. "You alright, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded. "Not dead by heart attack yet."

The view of the radio tower in the distance loomed in the distance. Before them was a simple suburb, quiet and empty. For now.

* * *

The streets were empty. Not just empty of people, cars and barricades also. The light of day brought a wave of panic over both Ellie and Joel. Riding on the back of Victory, walking through the streets looking from one building to the next. Cars were still there, but any blocking alleys or roads off were just gone.

Where the hell was Bill?

That question plagued their mind. Bill knew well how to keep his town safe. How the hell could a bunch of people just walk in, clear away so much and live to tell the tale?

"Think he is at _his home_?" said Ellie.

"Might just be," Joel replied.

"Joel, what if Bill is dead?" said Ellie, voicing their thoughts.

Joel remind silent, as they turned into an alley. Only as they passed through the part that was blocked off by a truck two years ago. "We go after them. I know where they're hiding."

"Like fuck you do, Joel."

Joel smiled at the déjà vu. How long ago since he and Tess had a similar exchange? Too long. Felt like a whole lifetime ago.

* * *

The group of five ducked down behind a rusty junker of a car just narrowly avoiding the bullet of a sniper. Just their fucking luck, right?

Tess poked her head up, looking through the empty window frame of the car, and ducked just in time to avoid the bullet the sniper sent her as a gift. "Middle house, top floor, big window."

"Damn, you can tell that from just a glance?" said Henry impressed. "You are one lethal lady."

"You have no idea," Tess replied. "Joel, figured something out?"

"Yeah," Joel replied. "You stay with them, distract him. I'll find a way around."

* * *

They entered the yard before the church. Or parking lot. Whatever it used to be, Ellie couldn't be sure. Mostly because she didn't know, and Joel didn't care enough to tell her. They dismounted the horse just before the locked gate. Still locked, and not letting them in.

"Bill still has the key," Ellie assumed.

"We ain't never going to find it in this town, if he dropped it," Joel told her.

A figure appeared at the top of the stairs, looking down at them. Not just anyone, or a stranger to them. Her eyes lit up. Annalisa ran down the steps to the gate, looking at them through the bars. She looked somehow different. The same. Trivial stuff such as clothes were different of course. She now wore a loose thin jacket over a vest, with a breezy skirt, with shoes to match. A bandage wrapped around her calve to hide the mark that proved she was a cordyceps survivor. Still, she was different. Part of her hair was tied back in a little bun, the rest flowing loose.

"Annalisa?! What are you doing here?" said Ellie, surprised.

"Visiting a friend," she replied.

"Friend?" said Ellie, too taken back to hide her complete and utter surprise. Even his own boyfriend didn't want to be with him, how the fuck could Bill have a friend?

"Ellie," Joel growled at her. His tone returned to normal, to address the little girl. "Do you have a key for this?"

"Um, hum!" Annalisa replied, enthusiastically. She fished the key out of her jacket pocket.

"How is Bill?" Joel asked, casually.

"He doesn't look so good. We want him to come to Salem, but he won't come. There is not much food left here, and Mr. Bill says he'll go hungry and die here." Annalisa unlocked the gate, allowed Joel, Ellie and Victory the stallion to enter. "We brought him some food. We have lots left. Tessa brings in the supplies of passing trucks three times a week."

"Tessa, huh?" Joel replied, while she locked the gate behind him. He hadn't listened to her properly before, but now his ears were more than willing to take in her endless glowing praise of this mysterious and magnificent Tessa.

He caught a glimpse of a woman at the top of the stairs, but she moved, before he could get a proper look at her. Following his instincts, and some dumb theory, he run up after her, leaving the girls and the horse behind. Rounded a corner, reached out and took hold of her wrist.

* * *

The morning air was so relaxing to the senses. Much better than the dank stench of the city. While the men cooked breakfast, Tess decided to take a little walk. Only a little distance. Just down the hill and back. What could possibly go wrong? That hoard of infected was far behind them. Well, not extremely far. Just far enough not to concern them.

Two gunshots caught her attention. Tess dashed towards the door. There was nothing she could do, even after kicking the door open. Henry pointed the gun to his head, and pulled the trigger. Such a waste. Sam and Henry, gone. Before their time.

"Sam…" Ellie sobbed. "Henry…"

Tess and Joel looked to one another. No words exchanged. Just because she couldn't get that damn runner off him in time, Sam was infected, now the brothers were dead.

"Ellie," Joel said, resting his hand on the girl's shoulder. He let her cry, but after that, they had to all move on.


	18. Who Does That?

I want to start by saying this is the longest chapter I've ever written for this story, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been waiting to write this part of the AU since chapter 2, and has always been there in the back of my mind fine tuning itself since. There is also a part of this chapter that was originally going to come a little later in a different way, but a new idea was brought to my attention, and I just had to run with it. Enjoy the chapter, and I hope it compensates for the fact there will be no second chapter for the suppliment story added with this update. I felt this chapter was so long, it needed my full focus.

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

 _Who Does That?_

She wasn't Tess. Her name wasn't even Tessa. Her hair was dark purple, probably from a bottle. Where she came from, apparently they had luxuries like hair dye. Eyes were a smoky grey. Her skin so sun starved pale, she could could have easily been a ghost. She was in fact alive. Her name was Becky, at least that was the name she gave.

She followed Joel back down the stairs to the girls and Victory. "Beautiful horse," said Becky, reaching up to give Victory an affectionate scratch behind the ears. The horse loved every moment of it.

"His name is Victory," said Ellie. She looked at Becky suspiciously. The woman's shirt was either darker shades of blue or black, and ripped. "Do you live here or something?"

"Me?" Becky replied. "Nope. Josh and Anna wanted to do a supply drop, and I thought I'd come along for the ride. Haven't been away from Salem in a while." Only after that last statement, Ellie noticed the rip in her shirt over her elbow. There was something pink and inflamed on her pale skin.

"You were infected," Ellie pointed out, rolling up her sleeve.

Becky nodded. "Gave a banana to a monkey, walked away with this. I'm not immune. A six month dose of blood from someone who is helped me fight the cordyceps." She looked to Joel. "I'm going to take the horse down into the church cellar. I set up a place for him. Word reached us of a couple of people entering the town on horseback. I'm assuming that is you."

Joel nodded.

Becky took the reins of the horse, and lead him up the stairs. Annalisa had already skipped ahead, to open the cellar doors.

Joel looked at Ellie, and that determined look in her green eyes. "No!"

"Oh, Joel, come on…" Ellie pleaded.

"I ain't going down that route. Look what happened last time you wanted to save mankind. The fireflies didn't even need you."

"I know what happened," said Ellie, failing to add that she knew more than she was letting on. "This is different. These people have a cure. What if some of my blood helps save someone like that woman?"

"We'll talk about it later," said Joel, as if that would be the end of it. It wouldn't. Ellie was stubborn, once she set her mind to something.

* * *

Shrouded in the orange, red and brown colors of autumn, the cliffs overlooking the river with the heavy current looked quite beautiful. Sad in a way that the trees and the bushes were slowly dying preparing for a winter hibernation. Joel had changed. Not drastically over night, but he did open up a little. For a start, he actually acknowledged that Ellie existed, and didn't treat her like a burden.

"Will Tommy welcome us?" asked Ellie.

"I doubt it," Tess replied. "I remember Tommy, and the big fall out."

"Tommy and I saw things differently," said Joel.

They made their way down the road, and found it come to a complete broken end. No way through. Joel turned around, and discovered a way down to the river. Together they helped each other climb down the ledges to the path below. Walking along the bank, Joel told of Tommy's parting words, and how he quit just about everything he ever committed to.

A chill washed over Tess. Winter was certainly coming. She zipped up her leather jacket, wrapping her arms around herself. "We should have a backup plan. Taking into account the possibility he doesn't know anything about the fireflies."

"We give up an go back to the zone," Joel replied.

"Unlike you to give up, Texas," Tess said, teasingly.

"I ain't giving up. I'm not wasting time on a wild goose chase," Joel informed her.

* * *

Ellie and Joel walked into the ransacked church, seeing the room was in the same old state of disrepair. Only thing different was that it now came with a blanket of discarded bottles, cans and food wrappings.

"Wait," said Elle, pulling off her backpack and dumping it on the ground. "I have something for him." She pulled out a slip of paper, contain the photocopy of her own ass. During their journeys, she had added a message on the blank side; _To Bill, you're an asshole, best wishes, Ellie._

As they approached the door, Josh walked out stuffing something into a rucksack. Had to be bandages or some kind of doctor gadget to scare the shit out of people making them think they were on death's door. Seeing him surprised neither Ellie or Joel. Annalisa was skipping around somewhere, getting a sing-song going with Becky, it was a no shit that her father wouldn't be far away.

"How is he doing?" asked Ellie.

A grim look crossed Josh's face. "Not good. I just gave him a sedative. Best let him sleep. Talk to him in the morning."

"How did you get into this?" said Joel, hoping to engage him in enough conversation to distract him. That way he could sneak a peek at Bill. "Were you a doctor or something in our time?" Seemed a stretch, considering that the man in front of him probably wasn't even forty yet.

Ellie however nodded at Josh's recommendation, and put the picture back in her backpack.

"Me?" Josh muttered. "Nah, not at all. I was like sixteen when the cordyceps hit. The triage I ended up in was short of medics. They were training anyone over fifteen with an interest how to pick up the slack. Figured I'd keep it up. It's a good skill to have."

"Could you teach me?" said Ellie.

"Sure," Josh replied. "There are a couple of mannequins in the basement, I'll show you how to wrap bandages properly."

"In Bill's armory?"

"No, that room behind the stairs. That is our little camp of sorts," Josh explained, as they doubled back to the stairwell, going down to the basement.

* * *

"They're alright," said Tommy, from behind the gates.

"You know these people?" Maria replied, still not lowering her gun or leaving her post on the wall.

"I know him," Tommy replied, as the gates parted. He pointed towards Tess, and added a, "And unfortunately her."

The moment was kind of touching. Two brothers reunited, sharing a hug after so long. All their issues seemingly dissolved. To add even more to the moment, Tommy had actually managed to commit to something, or someone as the case proved to be. The blonde who almost blew their heads off was his wife.

Then came the awkward moment. Tess and Tommy hadn't seen each other in a long time. Not since they last exchanged a few harsh words, where Tommy pretty much called her a cross between a black widow and a harpy, who would drag Joel down to the gutters and would probably eat him, if she hadn't killed him first. Followed by Tess calling him a useless sack of shit, good for nothing and no one, would probably end up some sap dead in the street with his pocket picked, or a some infected rotting away in a dark corner of some building.

Truth be told, in that moment both wanted to put a bullet in each other. If not for Joel, they might have. Tommy wasn't about to sour their reunion by killing the one woman he had managed to keep up some kind of relationship with that had lasted longer than a year. Joel wasn't even this serious about Sarah's mother. Tess on the other hand didn't want to waste a bullet, along with being the reason Joel lost another family member. He never recovered from Sarah, Tommy dying in front of him might just kill him.

Awkwardly, Tess extended her hand. "Tommy," she muttered. The look in her eye implied what she really wanted to say. Something along the lines of; _"How the hell did you find someone to put up with you?"_

"Tess," he replied, with an equal amount of awkwardness. His gaze implied; _"And there's me hoping you were dead."_

Their awkward handshake lasted the required two seconds max, then they turned away and pretended the other didn't exist. The urge to shoot each other didn't subside however.

* * *

The smell of pea soup lingered in the small room, coming from the pot bubbling away on a hot plate. Becky was adamant it would stay as tasteless pea soup, even with Josh's prompting to put some pigeon meat in it or something. Her exact words were, "When you're cooking, you can make whatever you like. Any butchered animal you choose. Until then, you're not putting that poor bird's blood on my hands. Now shut up, and carry on mummifying your daughter." She won Joel's respect after that. The girl had gumption, and stood by her beliefs.

Josh was not mummifying Annalisa, at least, trying not to. The mannequins weren't suitable for the job of wrapping bandages, because they weren't life like enough. Annalisa had volunteered to act as the pretend patient for Ellie to observe—and attempt to properly "heal." Annalisa was quite creative with it too. This time, she had staggered into the room, collapsed on the floor and claimed a horse trampled her over.

"Vegan or just veggie?" Joel asked Becky, observing the bubbles bursting on the surface of the soup.

"Vegan," Becky replied. "Devoted, until this." She pointed to the bite mark on her elbow. "I had to increase calcium intake, along with a few other things. Since we don't have supplements anymore, I had to eat dairy. It was to increase the odds of survival or something. I don't know."

Josh cut in briefly with, "What if I add the pigeon meat after you hand it to me?"

"No. You shut up and eat it how I serve it." Her tone was more like banter between two really good friends.

"Oh, come on," Josh pushed, with the same teasing tone. "Just a little?"

Joel joined in a little, adding, "You heard the lady. Eat your pea soup, and shut up."

Becky laughed. "See, even Joel agrees with me."

Ellie concluded her lesson, deciding to stop before she ended up wasting too many bandages. Hearing Becky laugh, and seeing Joel actually talk to a woman, she decided to test the waters, so to speak. Matter of fact, the only women she ever really saw him talk to these days was Maria, who of course didn't really count since she was family, and Hester. The latter was more forced on him by a matchmaking brother and sister-in-law. He just didn't open up to women, not since Tess.

"Becky, do you play any instruments?" Ellie asked.

Becky looked up from the soup, stirring it around with the spoon. "Only the piano. I played a lot before the outbreak. Not so much now. I had a little keyboard, but that was broken years ago. Used it as a weapon the day Tessa saved Annalisa. Broke it over a runner's head."

"When I got this," Annalisa provided for Ellie, stroking the bite mark on her calve.

Ellie nodded to Annalisa, but returned to Becky. Joel just wasn't getting it. Why are men just so clueless? "Joel plays the guitar, and writes songs."

"Really?" said Becky, intrigued. "If I ever get another keyboard, or find a piano to sit at, you'll have to jam with me."

"You can count on it," Joel agreed.

Progress. So he didn't expect it was a set up, Ellie moved over into the corner with Annalisa, and started playing some stupid game with her, while they were waiting for the food.

The food was served out. The soup was completely tasteless, but it was warm and sort of filling. Amongst the sounds of spoons scraping at the bottom of the bowls, the conversation on music didn't stop there.

"So, what music you into playing?" Joel asked.

"Classical," Becky replied. "I know it sounds weird, and considering how I used to be, everyone expected dark wave, or something depressing like a Goth cliché, but I think Classical is more emotionally touching. No words, just following the melody to really envelope myself in a certain emotion."

"I play what I feel," Joel explained. "Nothing beats sitting on the porch on a summer's day, and just plucking away the first thing that comes to mind."

* * *

"Alright, I'll bite," said Tommy, looking at Joel. Something had to be important for both Joel and Tess to leave their little smuggler racket to come all the way out here. "It's the girl, ain't it?"

"She's immune. Call me crazy, but I've seen it. And Tess. That kid has taken in enough spores to kill a dozen men," Joel explained.

"What is it you want from me?" Tommy said, cutting to the chase.

Joel rested his back against the wall. Went all quiet for a moment, blank staring at the space near Tommy's ear. "I'm tired, brother. All this. This whole thing was Tess's crusade. She wanted it. She should finish it. Just give me a horse, some supplies, then point Tess and Ellie in the right direction to find the fireflies. Get them there if you have to."

* * *

Joel was aware of it. He knew what Ellie was doing, and it didn't take him long to see it. It might have been that she conveniently remembered she'd forgotten to read a Savage Starlight comic, when Becky asked them both to help her rinse out the bowls. She had read the same comic book at least five or six times that Joel was aware of, probably more than that. Or perhaps when Joel mentioned the horse might have to stretch his legs. She asked Becky to ride with him, because she was "worried" about Bill. Ellie didn't give two shits about Bill's health, and they all knew it.

None the less, Joel reluctantly agreed to go riding with Becky on the horse, to get Ellie to drop it and leave it the fuck alone. They were quiet for a while. Joel focused on steering Victory, and well, Becky was behind him and he didn't know or care what her focus is.

"So, Ellie really wants us to spend time together, huh?" said Becky after nearly five minutes of silence.

"Yeah, guess so," he replied feigning ignorance in the matter. Only after he said those words, he decided he didn't want her to get the wrong end of the stick. "Look, Becky, I doubt this is even about you personally. Ellie always was a kid to push boundaries. Two—almost three years ago, something terrible happened. I lost someone who was a big part of my life for a long time, and Ellie don't think I've come to terms with it."

"Oh, I get it," Becky confirmed. "What better way to get rid of such pain, that finding someone else to love?"

"That is her idea, it seems. You lose someone close?"

"No. I mean yes. Yes in the fact we've all lost someone. No, in the context that means I get it. If that makes sense?"

"It does."

"I've had people try to set me up, and I know it sucks. One of my biggest regrets is, I never had kids of my own. I always wanted to have kids some day, but I was too focused on other things. Going through my whole change the world crusade. Helping others when they had no one. All that."

"Understandable. Live your life not realizing the luck will run out."

Becky smiled, even though she was the only one aware of it. "That sounds like someone I know. So, yeah. Always wanted kids. Now I can't have them. I guess I have Anna and MJ. I've practically played mother to them since they were young. Practically since birth with Anna."

"I had a daughter," said Joel. "Not Ellie. Before the outbreak."

"What happened to her?" asked Becky.

"Don't matter," said Joel, starting to shut down. Why did he even mention it? Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about her other than to Ellie or Tommy. Not that Tommy was much good on the subject. He'd always find a way to make it about him.

"Oh," said Becky, correctly guessing something stole her away from him. Cut her life short. "A friend back home keeps trying to set me up. The excuse is so flimsy, like "This guy is immune, or he went through the treatment too." As if that'd make any difference." Subject u-turn perfectly executed. Or, so they thought.

Joel eased the horse to a stop. Something was up ahead. Moving around in one large shadow. Even Victory seemed nervous, trying to turn away and go back. Whatever lay ahead of them wasn't human, and it moved too unpredictably to be infected. Both Joel and Becky dismounted the horse. Victory neighed, shaking his head, attempting to pull the reins free from Joel's grasp. He took pity on the horse, and let him go.

Victory ran all the way back to the church. The sight of the stallion returning with no riders told Ellie something was going on. She hurried to tell Josh, but he was in the process of tucking Annalisa into a sleeping bag. Waking her up wouldn't be fair. She needed rest like anyone else.

"What the hell is a horse doing in my house?" came from the stairs behind her.

She turned and saw Bill suited up in armor. He didn't look on death's door at all. Maybe lost a little weight, but not ill enough for someone medically trained to visit him so frequently.

"I thought you were ill," Ellie accused.

"I was acting it up to get this lot to fuck off out my town. After they're gone, exterminate the Firefly infestation."

Ellie shook her head. What the fuck? Who did that? Who was that desperate to be alone, they pretend to pretty much die? Bill, that's who.

* * *

Whatever their issue, Tommy and Maria were really going at it. More than just a tiff between spouses. This was something serious. Tess watched them from a far. Well, close enough to hear, but still far enough not to be dragged into it.

"What's going on over there?" said Ellie, sitting beside her on the box she used for a seat.

"Us. She wants us to leave on our own. He wants to wait a little longer, and buy someone some time… whatever. Tell Joel we are leaving now. Tommy won't spill on where the Fireflies are."

"Okay," Ellie replied. "Where is Joel?"

Tess turned to look at her, visibly taken back. "He wasn't with you?"

Ellie shook her head. "Last I saw, he was helping Tommy put a saddle on some horse."

Tess's jaw dropped. "That son of a bitch." She stood, angrily marched towards Tommy. Getting right in the middle of their little argument, she demanded, "Where is Joel?"

"I ain't saying. Not my place," Tommy replied. He couldn't even look her in the eye.

Tess pulled her gun out the holster Joel had made for her some time ago, checked how many bullets she had. Three. Not bad. "Don't screw with me on this Tommy, if I have to put a bullet in you, I will."

"Alright!" Tommy surrendered. "Joel is gone."

"Excuse me?" she replied, not quite letting the words sink in. "When?" To add further intimidation, she pointed the gun at Maria. Naturally, she wasn't going to shoot. He didn't know that.

"A couple of minutes ago. We had to stall. Just let him go, he didn't want to get involved in your crusade."

"Oh, my crusade?" She moved the gun, turning it on Tommy. "Really, we are going to go there? Coming from his useless deadbeat brother, who the only thing he could commit to is quitting just about everything he ever did. To make matters worse, you try and play the injured party, when the only reason he worked with me in the first place, was to keep a roof over your head, and food on the table. You really are an ungrateful sack of shit."

During her tirade, he remained silent. An emotionless mask. They say truth hurts, and some of those words stung pretty bad. "We'll go find him."

Tommy hurried over to the horses, and had another brought over for Ellie and Tess to ride together. Ellie had to take the reins, since this was Tess's first time riding a horse. She found the experience exhilarating, but a motorbike was much better. Pity they didn't have one of those to hand.

* * *

His head throbbing, with an intense pain that lead to believe someone had buried a meat cleaver into his head, Joel stumbled into the janitor's closet a couple of young punks had shoved him into.

"Fuck!" came from outside the closet. "Look! John… she's infected." The kid sounded terrified. That act wasn't sticking now. The kind that came from some kid who just started to have a bit of hair growing on his upper lip, and suddenly thought he could rule the world.

"Shit… what do we do?" said the other, equally as terrified. "Um… think… chuck her in with that other guy. When she turns, she might kill him for us…"

Becky was shoved into the small room, stumbled on the floor. She appeared barely conscious. The kids were amateurs at best. They'd took what guns they could find, and left both Becky and Joel with their rucksacks. Joel leaned over her, using both their flashlights to see what he was doing, checked to see if she was breathing steadily—she was, then held two fingers to her neck checking for a pulse. She was alive, and not likely to die soon. He positioned her in the recovery position, and left her to come around on her own terms.

The rip in her shirt was even more wider now, fully exposing the monkey bite on her elbow. How the hell did she not think to move away when feeding some random monkey? That would be one question Joel will certainly be asking. Taking a leaf out of little Annalisa's book, he fetched a bandage from his rucksack, and tied it around the bite mark. No doubt everyone in the building knew there was an infected woman, but they probably lacked the knowledge of what she actually looked like. Covering it up might just give her a few seconds advantage to blending in. Or make them hesitant to shoot on sight, in case she wasn't the infected one.

Joel settled himself near the door, holding a shiv left in his rucksack. It was crudely made, just a blade from a pair of scissors, with duct tape making a decent handle. Still, it would fucking hurt the first punk to try to step in through that door.

He tried to remember exactly what happened, but everything flashed before his eyes in a blur. One moment they were looking at strange shadows, the next he was being manhandled into the closet. His head was throbbing like hell. No dried blood in his hair.

Becky slowly sat up, feeling groggy. Her voice was slow, as if still drowsy and partially out of it. "What happened?"

"Some young idiots jumped us, and put us in here," he replied. Sounded better than admitting he hadn't got a clue. "They think you're gonna turn."

"Oh," Becky muttered. She reached for her rucksack, zipped open one of the smaller pockets. "Well, as tempting as the soft part of your forearm looks, want some dried fruit?"

Joel nodded, fishing a segment of dried sugar coated orange from the little clear zip lock sandwich bag she offered him. He popped the piece of fruit in his mouth. Not bad. He'd prefer something a little more in the meat category, but better considering the last thing he ate was that pea soup. Hunger had started to claw its way through his stomach, leaving him in any position to turn down food when it was offered to him.

"I guess you did this?" Becky pointed to the bandage over her elbow.

"Yeah."

"Thank you. I get so used to not having to hide it, I forget when I leave."

"What is Salem like?"

"Home. One of those places where friendship goes on forever. People help each other. Everyone has their own place there. No one is left to suffer, we look out for each other. Out of all the settlements I've seen, it is the closest we've got to our time, but better. Everyone and everything is equal. There are some people who try to take instead of give, but they all end up leaving to find someplace they can have it all."

"Sounds nice. The sort of place I want for Ellie. I doubt the whole settlement life is for us. My brother and his wife runs a place in Jackson County. Normal life, well normal as it can get. Neither one of us really fit in. I'd seen too much of that dark side of people to see the world any other way, and Ellie never could trust enough to reveal who she truly is."

"Maybe you should come to Salem. Give the place a try."

"Maybe," Joel replied. He was considering it, but didn't like the possibility Ellie might go back on her whole savior of mankind kick again.

* * *

"Joel, get off that fucking horse, before I shoot you off it!" Tess shouted, pointing a gun at him. They had caught up with him as the dirt trail veered off from the road.

Somehow Joel still thought he could lose them. He stopped after the horse leapt over a fallen tree wrapped in barbed wire. Joel dismounted the horse, waited for them to catch up. Tess on his trail with such determination, he knew he would never be able to shake her. Since Tommy knew the woods so well, there would be no hiding place for a man who had almost reached the limit of the wall he had built around his heart. The more time he spent away from the life he had made for himself in Boston, the lower the wall got. Bit by bit, he saw Ellie as less of a burden. The thought scared him. What if that kid ended up dead? Losing Sarah nearly killed him. He wasn't going to let some girl worm her way into his heart, and destroy him as her final breath left her.

Why couldn't Tess just let him go?

Tess climbed down off the back of the horse, looked him deep in the eyes. "Joel… I'm listening."

Joel shrugged, folding his arms and turned his head away from her.

"How could you run away?" Tess demanded. "After everything we have been through together. The amount of times I've dragged you back from oblivion, when you wanted to sulk in the dark. You run away without so much as a single goodbye." She was disappointed in him.

Heck, he was disappointed in himself. "I can't do this."

"You think this is easy for me? How easier it would have been, if the fireflies were waiting at the capitol building? You ran away Joel, because everything is different, and that scares you."

Joel looked at Tess. Really looked at her. Beyond the tough chick mask she hid behind, so no one would take advantage of her. The gun she carried, to put a bullet in those who got in her way. All of it. He looked past Tess the smuggler, to Tess the woman. That scared him most, more than a kid that could reopen the wound Sarah left in his heart. Pain like that he could handle in time. This… the thought left him entirely speechless.

Before anymore words could be exchanged, fire engulfed the truck behind them, following the shattering of a glass bottle. The horses bolted back over the barbwire and tree trunk fence.

* * *

That bag of fruit pieces ran out pretty quick, leaving them with nothing else to do. Throwing bits of fruit at each other, for the other to catch in their mouth would do that. Becky didn't seem to mind wasting her rations at all. Heck, she was pretty good at the game. She never missed his mouth, and always caught the pieces he threw at her.

Only thing left to do was talk. "So, a goth kid in high school? Bet that was tough," said Joel.

"Not at all. I had the whole high school experience. Part of drama club, started my own classical music club. Had a bunch of friends. Even dated the captain of the football team for a while. Mostly revenge on the head cheerleader, but it counts."

"You'd be surprised how normal that is. The guys on the jock types act like they want the cheerleader types, but always end up going for the more "misfit" types."

"Bet you were the jock type," Becky assumed.

"For a while. Senior year I kept myself to myself."

"Got tired of popularity?" Becky teased.

"Na, don't matter," Joel replied, dismissively. He wasn't about to tell her what really happened senior year.

Becky crossed her legs. "You're an enigma Joel. Pity, I used to like mysteries."

"So, feeding monkeys. Were you a vet or something?" he said, changing the subject.

"I was still in high school when the outbreak happened, so no. Senior year in fact. I always loved animals though. Practically every week, I was protesting to stop the biology dissection program. The teacher was a sick bastard, who got off on butchering animals. I was always the type to give my voice to the silent. Standing up for those who couldn't do it for themselves."

Joel looked to her impressed. Seemed fitting a girl like her would find a place amongst those immune to the cordyceps. For a vegan, former teen activist, and a goth, she was certainly an interesting woman. Someone he could certainly see a friendship blooming with. Maybe his promise to have a guitar/keyboard jam session with wouldn't be an empty promise.


	19. Why So Grumpy, Mr Grouch?

This chapter might actually be shorter than most, and probably not the best of them. Truth is, I struggled with the AUs for a while, and then got a new laptop. This whole chapter was lost in the file transfer. I've tried to recreate it as best I can, but a lot was cut out. Also, I made the decision to pretty much cut out most of the UEC part of the game, because I doubt much different would happen.

Hope this chapter isn't too much of a let down. I'll make sure the next chapter compensates for it.

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINETEEN**

 _Why So Grumpy, Mr. Grouch?_

For the third time in twenty minutes, his stomach rumbled. He was seriously regretting wasting that bag of fruit pieces. No doubt the idiots that locked them in there had no intention of coming back. He didn't want to say anything, but he seriously needed to take a piss. Going in front of a lady wasn't a line he was going to cross. He did have some gentleman tendencies. Not many, but some of them were there.

"I got a theory," said Becky, standing up. She stepped over him. "You said they were morons, right?"

"I did," Joel replied with a nod.

Becky placed her hand on the door handle, closed her eyes to concentrate. No sounds at all of approaching humans or infected. She turned the door handle down, and let go as it swung outwards. Now they both felt like morons. How could they have spent all night in a janitor's closet, and not considered that their "jailers" hadn't even bothered to lock the door?

After grabbing their rucksacks, they dashed out before anyone was even aware they were gone. First stop for Joel was to take a leak in the nearest toilet. Damn, he seriously needed that. He walked out the door, and didn't see Becky at all. The dark littered locker lined corridor was empty. So silent, if a pin dropped he would certainly hear it.

 _Where is she?_ Joel thought to himself.

There were no gunshots, or even any signs of a scuffle.

He moved down the corridor, his hand hovering over the holster at his belt. Ready to shoot at a moment's notice.

"Becky," he whispered.

"Joel?" she called back. Her voice came from a nearby classroom. "Joel? Where are you? I've been waiting forever."

Joel hurried to the classroom her voice came to. "Uh…" He almost jumped at the sight of a skeleton wearing Becky's blue shirt.

The frame was still attached. It stood behind a work station, leaning one elbow on the surface. It's open jawbone on its hand. The other arm rested flat. For a brief moment, he feared Becky was dead. How the hell would he explain this to Josh or Annalisa? Or even Ellie? Then the logic part of his brain screamed at him that even if she died, she wouldn't be just bones and so well posed, in the short time they were apart.

"Becky," Joel growled, in an irritable tone.

Becky popped up from behind the desk. Her bandaged arm was fully visible because the black top she wore underneath lacked sleeves. They were ripped off at some point. An amused look on her face, she said, "What? I said I've been waiting forever!" Her eyes widened momentarily after the final word. She slipped the shirt off the skeleton and put it back on. There was no time to fasten buttons.

Noises of two approaching men echoed down the corridor. Becky ducked back down behind the desk. Joel had nowhere else to hide but a locker right next to the door. He ducked inside and waited. Two men walked in. One quite old, and another young. Both of them approached the very desk Becky hid behind. For a moment Joel's heart skipped a beat. Fuck! Would they find her?!

His fears were unnecessary. They stopped near it, with the backs to it.

"Found them yet?" asked the young one. He was a hand talker, meaning he gestured with his hands as he talked. Not sign language. At least none Joel was aware of. He wanted to laugh, but had to stop himself. The skeleton mimicked his arm movements, through rods. "They got to be here somewhere." He stopped, and looked to the skeleton that had stopped.

"We'll keep on looking," said the old guy, his gaze focused on the door.

The skeleton nodded along with the young guy.

Both men looked to the still skeleton. Stood there confused for a few moments, scratched their respective heads, and hurried off out the classroom. Joel waited a few minutes until the sounds of their footsteps had gone. He emerged from the locker, and had to laugh.

"Alright, that was funny," he admitted.

Becky rose from behind the desk, smiling.

* * *

"Just fucking die!" Tess shouted, unloading two bullets into some guy who had charged through the door. She was filled with a combination of rage and fear.

Joel lay impaled on thick wiring, almost bleeding to death, and she had to trust the kid could pull him free without killing him. He kept slipping in and out of consciousness. Tess abandoned her post, hurrying to Joel. She shoved Ellie away, muttered something about watching the door. The words came out of her mouth, but she didn't even really process that she had said them.

"You aren't going to leave me like this, Texas," Tess told him.

Joel tried to laugh, but that hurt too much. He zoned out again. Sounds of bullets being shot brought him back. One hard pull, and Tess wrenched him free. He felt so frail and weak, that dying seemed the only way. He slumped against her frame, forcing her to bare his weight on her shoulder. She draped his arm across both her shoulders, supported him as they stumbled together through the door.

"Ellie, go ahead. I got this," said Tess.

* * *

Bill and Ellie made an odd pair walking down the dump of a street. He was big and fat and held a grudge, she was small and petite and semi-knew how to laugh and have fun. Well, she used to. Not so much these days. They stopped near a rotted out truck.

"Oh yeah, Bill, I have something for you," said Ellie, slipping off her backpack. She rummaged around in it for a slip of paper. She offered it to him. "I made this with you in mind."

"Really?" said Bill, taking the paper. He looked touch that someone had given a shit about him enough to actually make something. That look didn't last long. He read the message and opened it.

Ellie's heart sank. He made no visible indication of his feelings on it. His beady eyes staring at the page. Bill lowered it and stared at her. His mouth firmly shut.

What could she do? Laugh? Cry? Beg for forgiveness? Act like it was the wrong paper?

Bill grabbed her by the arm. "We have to make a detour."

* * *

"You're really going to walk down the corridor with that thing?" asked Joel, eyebrow raised at the thought.

"As you see," Becky replied. She walked side by side, hand in hand, pulling the skeleton along. Good thing the frame had wheels or getting it around would be a real bitch. Becky did insist on bringing it along.

"Why do you even need it?" Joel asked.

"A skeleton can come in handy you know. It isn't real bones. Josh can use it to practice and demonstrate wrapping bandages on. Anna really shouldn't be expected to play test patient as often as she does."

Something lay on the ground ahead. Too big to be random garbage, not alive enough to be infected. As they moved closer, they saw the bodies of the men who were just in the classroom. Both had a stab wound to the throat. Becky and Joel looked to one another. Whatever killed them must still be nearby. They turned around and jogged in the opposite direction. Reluctantly Becky had to surrender the skeleton, the wheels were making so much noise the killer could easily find them.

At the end of the corridor in the opposite direction, Joel ducked down behind a desk. Becky chose a pile of crates as her hiding spot. Something groaned in the room right behind them. Both doors were shut, but that usually didn't make much of a difference. It was a low deep "Urr…" Then heavy breaths. The doors burst open revealing a bloater. Whatever was ahead was much more favorable than this. No words needed. The both of them stood up and run, weaving around boxes, chairs, Skelly—who Becky grabbed the hand off, heck the bloater had already sensed them. What harm could the wheels of a skeleton do? Hastily, she unhooked it from the frame and carried the plastic bones with her.

Joel reached the door at the end before her, yelled for her to hurry up. The moment Becky was inside, he toppled a nearby book case in a bid to stall the bloater. They turned, and dashed up some stairs. He had never known a bloater to climb stairs before. At least, he'd never seen it with his own eyes. Therefore, it was safe to assume they might be safe.

All the classroom doors were blocked off, except for the last one. Each pain of glass had shattered out, all the furniture gone. Vines had grown in, and created a leafy carpet along the ground.

"You and that damn skeleton!" Joel said, angrily.

"I couldn't leave it for the bloater to smash. I was going to come back later to get it," Becky fired back. "Excuse me Mr. Grumpy, for saving myself the bother of having to find another." She sat the skeleton down, propping its back against the wall.

They were completely unaware of a gun pointed right at them.

* * *

More hunters kept on coming. One had already pinned them in a classroom, where Tess had to shoot him while Ellie distracted him. Then they managed to get Joel up on his feet. He swayed so much, Tess had to support him. Without even thinking, she shot some guy trying to steal one of the horses.

"You ride with Joel on Callus," said Tess, helping Joel up onto the horse's back.

"Are you sure you can ride on your own?" Ellie replied.

"I'll be fine. I know enough. You don't know if you can't do something unless you try. Joel needs you right now." Ellie had taught her well.

They mounted the horses and rode off, hoping to put the university far behind them. Joel felt light headed, his whole body started to sway. Anticipating this, Tess urged her horse closer to Callus, and caught him. Cradling him in his arms.

"Joel… not like this…" said Tess, on the verge of tears.

* * *

"Thanks Bill," said Ellie, resisting the temptation to throw up.

Bill climbed down off Lincoln's only working photocopy machine. He pulled up his pants, collected the paper from the tray and passed it to her. Ass picture for an ass picture. Seemed fair. Ellie did take something from this; next time you send someone an ass picture, don't be surprised if you get one back.

She followed over the paper and stowed it away in her backpack. Perhaps she will wait until after they leave Lincoln to dispose of it. "Are we going to go looking for Joel and Becky now?"

Bill nodded.


End file.
